Pregnant mommy, had to instantly wean, Drs orders, causing contractions at 28 wks

[New_Momma]

My 2 yr old preemie son (32 wks) and I had the most wonderful breastfeeding relationship. I feel it important to say that i'm an attachment parent as well. He nursed on demand and I planned to do child lead weaning. Then it all fell apart. I'm pregnant now, 30 weeks. At about 27 weeks I started to have a lot of contractions so my high risk obgyn said I needed to immediatly wean. It has been so traumatic for the both of us. He handled it well at first but now it's been about 3 weeks and were still having problems. He asks for it every day and still gets heartbroken everytime I say mommas milks all gone. He is extremly clingy, needy, and fussy. He is so irratable and cries all the time. This is not my boy! He is the most care free, happy, child you have ever met. Hes never been a cryer not even through all the terrible medical stuff he's been through. He is refusing all solids and is constantly a tired little zombie. This is a nightmare. And just when I thought it couldn't get worse I can no longer pick him up because that is causing contractions as well. This has really sent him over the edge. Clearly I need help for how to make this better for him. I also really need support for myself, I am getting very depressed. I feel like the most awful mother, my guilt is overwhelming and i'm afraid i'm loosing the bond I worked so very hard on for 2 years. It feels like were moving backwards and all this goes against everything I ever believed in and wanted to be as a parent. Please help!!!Thanks.

[Kedrosami]

Maybe he can start nursing again after the baby is born? It might help if you tell him that when the baby is born, the milk will come back. Some toddlers do start nursing again when the new baby comes even if they weaned during the pregnancy.

And you can still spend lots of time with him, talking, reading, snuggling, doing fun projects. Your relationship is changing but part of that is going to happen anyway with the addition of a new sibling and it will happen anyway as he grows older. You will not lose your bond with him!

[LamisDove]

I like the idea of telling him the milk will come back after the baby is born. Also, can you just sit and hold him for a while and give him milk in a bottle? It may seem really odd to start a bottle so late, but maybe he's not ready to give up the comfort of sucking.

[New_Momma]

Originally Posted by Kedrosami 

Maybe he can start nursing again after the baby is born? It might help if you tell him that when the baby is born, the milk will come back. Some toddlers do start nursing again when the new baby comes even if they weaned during the pregnancy.
And you can still spend lots of time with him, talking, reading, snuggling, doing fun projects. Your relationship is changing but part of that is going to happen anyway with the addition of a new sibling and it will happen anyway as he grows older. You will not lose your bond with him!

Thank you for your help! I do still read, snuggle, etc. But when he wants to be held, NOTHING else will do. Thats just life I suppose. :) I think I will keep him weaned, I feel that starting again may be confusing, as then in time he will have to be weaned yet again. Thoughts? Thanks again.

[New_Momma]

Originally Posted by LamisDove 

I like the idea of telling him the milk will come back after the baby is born. Also, can you just sit and hold him for a while and give him milk in a bottle? It may seem really odd to start a bottle so late, but maybe he's not ready to give up the comfort of sucking.

I can not believe this never occured to me and no one ever suggested it. :( I wonder if it's too late now. Wonder if I still have milk. Thanks for the great idea!

[LilMomma83]

Originally Posted by LamisDove 

I like the idea of telling him the milk will come back after the baby is born. Also, can you just sit and hold him for a while and give him milk in a bottle? It may seem really odd to start a bottle so late, but maybe he's not ready to give up the comfort of sucking.

I like this suggestions too. I nursed DS1 all through pregnancy #2, but, we didn't have a reason not to. That said, I just could not do the night nursing or freqeuency of nursing so I had to do something for him, I ended up giving him milk (actually chocolate milk because he did not like regular cow milk) in a bottle while snuggling with him...it took almost a week for him to adjust to it (he had had a bottle as baby when I was at work but had weaned off the bottle on his own months prior to me getting pregnant). It really did help in our case...