3 kids under 4! Spacing advice needed!!

[icy02]

I am feeling so frustrated lately.  I keep going back and forth, back and forth on when to try for #3.  Currently DS1 just turned 3 and DS2 is 19 mo.  I think I am a little apprehensive because my boys are 17 mo apart and the first year was so very difficult for me.  DS2 was a high needs baby with a lot of food sensitivities...

 On the other hand, it was a very long journey TTC before our boys were born so I also feel like if I don't try now, I may miss my chance (which may be ridiculous because I'm only 27 and turns out our issues were DH's swimmers). If we try and get a BFP in January that would give us an October 2012 baby (and DS2 would be 28 mo and DS1 a few months away from 4 yrs).  Is it just me or does October seem so close?? But, if we wait til the summer to try we could get a March of 2013 baby which seems sooo far away...

I don't think any of our family would be excited to hear we were expecting a baby in October, but that doesn't really detour me.  I just want to make sure I could give each child enough one on one time.  

Any advice would be appreciated :)  What should I do????

[sherryvhkb]

I had three in less than 4 years.

Pro: you are already doing all the stuff- its just for one more. Your already carrying a diaper bag, playing, cooking, ....your in the zone, whats one more obj sandwich when you're alteady making two. My three oldest are very close! Now ages 23,21,19.

Cons: you are now out numbered!! They now rule over the adults in the house...in the car...at the store...if they decide to revolt together its not pretty!!! And: you have to be carefull not to make number one grow up too fast. My oldest at 41/2 was like a mini adult. All that oldest sibling helping out and "being good" because mommy/daddy have their hands full. People will think your crazy, that they were an accident, etc. But just sometimes. I also got tons of compliments, shared reminiscences, and assistance.

All in all i would do it just the same. I miss those days with a house full of pre schoolers! We sure did have fun!

[aHikaru]

I would wait, we are currently talking about #2, our first is 3 next month and are thinking of having them 4 years apart. My mom had fertility issues in her twenties, so I'm worried also, but if it's meant to be it'll happen. As for us, we'll be 2 kids and done.

[34me]

My oldest was 29 months old when #2 was born and 43 months when my youngest was born. So the first two are a 2.5 years apart and the next 2 are just over 2 years apart. It was rough when they were all pretty little but easier and easier as they got older. I only ever had two in diapers for a month, but I was still in the packing a diaper bag zone. As far as one on one time my middle son probably got the shaft when my youngest was born but I really made an effort to have "dates" with him.

[hoping4just1more]

I currently have 4 children. They are 13, 9, 3, and 2. Everything was very easy going for us until our 4th child was born. The gigantic space between them all just made it so easy breezy. I found out how hard parenting really is when I had my daughters a little over a year apart. I could easily run to the store, workout, and keep up with my duties as a stay at home mommy. Now everything is much more difficult. Two cars seats to load, not enough seats when I go the grocery store, absolutely ZERO alone time with hubby!!!! But it is all so worth it! I am only 29 and have so much time to live an easier and slower paced life. I know that I may go absolutely bonkers with #5 but it's what we want. They don't stay babies forever and our dreams of a large family are worth the sacrifice to us. So no it will not be easy, but consider if it is still worth the while to you and your family. It is a decision that cannot be reversed once achieved so give it some good thought. Will what you gain now be worth what you may lose. 

[shelbel]

I would say go for it! My first two are 21 months apart and the 2nd two are 25 months apart, so when we brought home our third daughter, our 1st born was 2 months away from turning 4 and our 2nd born had just turned 2. Things were already super hectic at our house, so really adding one more wasn't a huge deal, but a lot of those early years are a blur. Yes, we were outnumbered (especially my DH, since he's the only male in our house!), but it wasn't too bad (unless they were all sick at the same time). We also don't have much help from family, so it is doable. Now, we are expecting our 4th and I'm a little worried b/c my youngest will be 4 when the new baby is born and we've been out of the baby mode for a while now. I am hoping my oldest two will be bigger helpers, though.