What a subject! Rainabow i totally know what you mean. It is hard sometimes to try to look objectively, but to each there own! I wish you all the best homebirth, scheduled c, VBAC, whatever. Healthy baby is paramount and then hopefully each momma will get a good birth too!
I'm on the fence with what i am doing. I'm kinda scared of everything. I think i just realized that i want to roll up into a ball and pretend that i don't have to birth the baby.
My first was a c-section after being manipulated into an induction (lied to, thank you), having my water broken mid labor (lied to again), and then told my baby was in danger (lied to) when my midwife was just tired and wanted to go home (calling her a midwife is a disgrace to the name of midwives!). I was knocked out for my Emergency C and i all i remember is waking up alone, without a baby, not sure whether he was dead or alive. It was the worst experience of my life.
Anyways... if you can see... 3 years later i am still mildly heated about it haha
My second was a planned VBAC in a freestanding birth center with a CPM. She was nice, but really pushy in labor. She decided to AROM although i told her prior not to. And then tried to make me push. Hind sight i should have said no. After crawling into the tub again, my son's heart rate went from 160 bpm to around 70 bpm and she lost it repeatedly (granted, i was in the VERY END of labor). She started yelling at the assitants and got frazzled and then i asked if we needed 911 and she had 911 called. Hard part was, that she kept badmouthing me and yelling at me to birth the baby, but all that was running through my head is that my baby was about to die. Then she blamed the entire ordeal on me and said that i was "meant" to birth in hospitals. It was harsh. And i'm still hurt. So now i am afraid to birth out of hospital because in that second i thought my baby was going to die i would have given ANYTHING for a c-section.
So now i am torn. Nearest VBAC hospital is 1 hr 45m away. There is an awesome doctor (Dr. Wu) who delivers in LA but the hospital he delivers at has a 41% c-section rate and i am on PLAVIX (a bloodthinner) so yeah. Do i just need to accept i am somewhat higher risk? I don't feel like it. My VBAC was beautiful thanks to a wonderful doctor who allowed me to VBAC even though the hospital prohibited it. (i was too far along anyways. I could feel the baby's head by the time i was on the table).
I WANT a VBAC again. I NEED it. I LOVED everything about it! Coolest thing ever!!!!!
Anyone have experience with California or LA doctor's or hospitals or birth centers? What about Doulas? I want the BEST DARN doula around if i deliver in a hospital. Sorry to go on... i guess i needed to get this off my chest. I'm mildly freaking out.