So- how are you birthing? - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[Robynee]

Originally Posted by kelantan 

So now i am torn. Nearest VBAC hospital is 1 hr 45m away. There is an awesome doctor (Dr. Wu) who delivers in LA but the hospital he delivers at has a 41% c-section rate and i am on PLAVIX (a bloodthinner) so yeah. Do i just need to accept i am somewhat higher risk? I don't feel like it. My VBAC was beautiful thanks to a wonderful doctor who allowed me to VBAC even though the hospital prohibited it. (i was too far along anyways. I could feel the baby's head by the time i was on the table). 

I am so sorry that you have had such negative birthing experiences and such a lack of support.

I am on the East Coast so I can't speak to your area, but my last baby was born in a hospital that had the highest csection rate in Massachusetts. He had health issues because my placenta was abrupting, but the birth itself was amazing and my midwife was fabulous. I think that part of the reason their section rate is so high is because they have one of the few level 3 NICUs outside of Boston and many high risk births take place there.

That is a long ride though, is there anywhere you could stay nearby when you first start labor? We drove an hour to the hospital with me in transition and it was less than pleasant.

[cryswilkins]

Originally Posted by mole 

I've applied to the natural birth center in my town. If they accept me, it will be an unmedicated birth with the option for water (I've never given birth before, so I don't know what I will want at the time!). They are connected to the hospital, so if anything goes wrong or I need medicine, it's easy to transfer to the regular part of the hospital.

I had my DS at a similar Birthing Center.  It was attached to the hospital.  Since my birth with DD was intervention heavy, I was so scared I couldn't do it by myself.  I wanted to be close to a hospital just in case.  If I knew what I did now I wish that I would have just had him at home, and trusted that my body could do it.  Even though it was a birthing center they really had certain rules and it was so so easy to get risked out.  The staff is amazing, but they are bound my hospital politics.  My birth went smoothly, but a friend attempted to give birth there 9 months later and was risked out (for merconium) and pushed over to the hospital side and it was a terrible experience.  If I were to have to do a Birthing Center again I would do a freestanding one.

[mole]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Crysw! There is not a free standing option for me, and I don't want to give birth at home. My apartment is really small, and I don't see how that choice could be more comfortable for me than birthing in the birthing center. The reviews I've read of the birthing center are excellent, and if they accept me I can visit their midwives for all of my pregnancy exams, so I won't have to visit my doctor for them.

[border stories]

Will be hoping for a second home VBAC.

ds 1 - emergency c-section

ds 2 - emergency c-section under a general

dd 1 - home vbac

VBAC is my aim again.  I had a birth pool at home and laboured there.  At the end though I wanted to be on my feet and birthed standing up.  

My midwives were really hands off, as my request.  I just can't labour with lights and voices and questions and monitoring.  I slow down and then end up with complications.

At home I laboured fast and easily and birthed well.    Fingers crossed for the opportunity to do it again.

But pregnancies can be different, I know that, and who knows what the future of this pregnancy will be.  Really I just want a baby.  I have had both birth types and loved my babies just the same, so all in all, just keeping us both healthy and well is my aim this time :)

[amydiane]

Quote:

Originally Posted by kelantan 

What a subject! Rainabow i totally know what you mean. It is hard sometimes to try to look objectively, but to each there own! I wish you all the best homebirth, scheduled c, VBAC, whatever. Healthy baby is paramount and then hopefully each momma will get a good birth too!

I'm on the fence with what i am doing. I'm kinda scared of everything. I think i just realized that i want to roll up into a ball and pretend that i don't have to birth the baby.

My first was a c-section after being manipulated into an induction (lied to, thank you), having my water broken mid labor (lied to again), and then told my baby was in danger (lied to) when my midwife was just tired and wanted to go home (calling her a midwife is a disgrace to the name of midwives!). I was knocked out for my Emergency C and i all i remember is waking up alone, without a baby, not sure whether he was dead or alive. It was the worst experience of my life.

 Anyways... if you can see... 3 years later i am still mildly heated about it  haha

My second was a planned VBAC in a freestanding birth center with a CPM. She was nice, but really pushy in labor. She decided to AROM although i told her prior not to. And then tried to make me push. Hind sight i should have said no. After crawling into the tub again, my son's heart rate went from 160 bpm to around 70 bpm and she lost it repeatedly (granted, i was in the VERY END of labor). She started yelling at the assitants and got frazzled and then i asked if we needed 911 and she had 911 called. Hard part was, that she kept badmouthing me and yelling at me to birth the baby, but all that was running through my head is that my baby was about to die. Then she blamed the entire ordeal on me and said that i was "meant" to birth in hospitals. It was harsh. And i'm still hurt. So now i am afraid to birth out of hospital because in that second i thought my baby was going to die i would have given ANYTHING for a c-section. 

So now i am torn. Nearest VBAC hospital is 1 hr 45m away. There is an awesome doctor (Dr. Wu) who delivers in LA but the hospital he delivers at has a 41% c-section rate and i am on PLAVIX (a bloodthinner) so yeah. Do i just need to accept i am somewhat higher risk? I don't feel like it. My VBAC was beautiful thanks to a wonderful doctor who allowed me to VBAC even though the hospital prohibited it. (i was too far along anyways. I could feel the baby's head by the time i was on the table). 

I WANT a VBAC again. I NEED it. I LOVED everything about it! Coolest thing ever!!!!!

Anyone have experience with California or LA doctor's or hospitals or birth centers? What about Doulas? I want the BEST DARN doula around if i deliver in a hospital. Sorry to go on... i guess i needed to get this off my chest. I'm mildly freaking out. 

I'm also torn (though between hospital and home, as VBACs aren't allowed in birth centers here).  I also have some labels which shouldn't contraindicate a natural birth, but most of the OBs I've seen want to treat me like a ticking time bomb.  Plus, I have some trust issues because I haven't had very good experiences with OBs….they've pretty much all either lied to me, used scare tactics, wanted to pile on the interventions for no good reason, or some combination thereof.  But if I plan a homebirth, I still have to get a sign-off from a consulting OB and I'm pretty sure that all the local HB MWs use the OB who risked me out of the birth center last time for a stupid reason.  So I'm not looking forward to the possibility of getting risked out again at 30+ weeks and having to scramble to find a provider who will take me.  It was hard enough last time and I didn't have a uterine scar then.  There are only 2 hospital based VBAC providers locally and one of them doesn't take late transfers….I'm not sure about the other but I had started out my last pregnancy with them and I think I would really have to fight for a natural delivery. :(

[RoseisRose]

We are planning UC and this will be my third UC of four babies. If it ends up based on our personal limits and circumstances, that we need to seek outside care, we plan to go to the only free standing birth center in the Twin Cities. Our insurances will not pay for a midwife outside of a birthcenter. that's a shame. if that were the case, then I would first choose UC then hb w/a mw then a birthcenter w/a mw.

[Rainabow]

MadiMama -can I call u MMC?

Drum roll please....PAID leave!

[kelantan]

Robynne--i hadn't thought of that. I will have to look into whether there is a reason for their high c-section rate. For me i plan to wave a lot of requirements and i need supportive environment. With two kids, i would also be really hard to stay any where down there. I just don't know. My husband has said though that he would prefer to deliver on the side of the road than to just let the hospital section me. That made me so happy! Wonderful dh!

Amy: I totally know! I think that when it comes down to it, to VBAC in a hospital it is a fight. But i probably will because birthing at home scares me too much. Especially after having an overbooked and not up to my standard of competence midwife, i am just afraid of that happening again. Maybe my husband will get a job transfer and that will solve all our problems! haha :)

[mymaya]

This is, indeed, a very sensitive subject. I don't think I have the time to fully express everything I feel and think about the subject right now, but would love to another time. the facts are, I had my son 10 years ago in Berlin (Germany) through an unnecessary C-Section after 24 hours. three years later I had my daughter in NY State at what started as an intended vbac and ended, 48 hours later, with another c-section. I was devastated, but got over it eventually. I didn't think I would have more children, so this pregnancy is a (wonderful) surprise. But I was not prepared to deal with the birth issue ever again, and I still don't feel like I am ready to think about it for real, as I am having a terrible time with anxiety and nerves trusting the viability of this pregnancy right now. but ASSUMING all goes well, and it's time to plan the birth, my big question is whether I have one or two in there..... I have had exceptionally high HCG numbers so far, and tomorrow I am having an ultrasound (at 5W 4D) to see "what's going on in there". The situation in my town is very sever in regards of VBACs, and especially VBA2C, but I am willing to do what it takes to get the birth of my wish (within the safe measures, of course), which means, I am willing to look far and beyond to find a home midwife out of my town or even state, who would be willing to assist a HBA2C. locally there is no one I am aware of who would support me. However, if it turns out I am having more than one "in there", I think I might be hesitant to consider a home birth, but not sure about a vbac.

from my experience laboring and birthing in hospitals and at home (with my daughter I spend 24 hours laboring, med-free, at home, before going to a hospital), I can say that for ME personally, a hospital is not a good place to attempt a second VBAC. I find the interventions, and constant pressure on my midwives (who were there, but under a "Doctor's watch") distracting and physically contra-productive for MY body. If I ever attempt another vbac, it will have to be in a (emotionally and mentally) safe, peaceful place, and that, for me, is not a hospital. Unfortunately I don't have a birth-center anywhere near here, so it would have to be in a home. My home, a hotel room, a friend's home, not sure.

as I said, I feel that even putting it here in writing is premature, and that I might "jinx" myself.... I know it's silly, but I have been spotting on and off for a few days (very little, and it did happen with my other pregnancies, but still...). But when the time comes and, hopefully, I can relax enough and trust this pregnancy, I would love to share my full,d etailed story of the births of my children, and my feeling and conclusions. until then- please cross your fingers for me, as I do for all of you.

mymaya.

[MamanFrancaise]

I am planning my second home birth w/ a midwife. DD1 was a hospital/epidural birth. DD2 was a home birth.

I would never judge another woman's choice. I find that I'm being judged on a daily basis based on my decision to have a home birth. My friends and family are soooo very mainstream.

 

 

[Flower of Bliss]

We'll be planning home birth #2.  DD1 was an intervention free hospital birth - I didn't even have a heploc.  Besides my 4th degree tear (which was the result of a compound presentation and a very fast birth, not the fault of the hospital), it was complication free.  However, being in the hospital for the next 36 hours, the LC who started us on a nipple shield at about 1 hour pp, early morning checks, blood draws, hearing tests, and nurses constantly asking how breastfeeding was going was just too much.  I don't want to birth in a hospital again.  DD2 was born at home.  Barring any complications, we'll be doing another home birth.  I'm already thinking about who I want there.

[amanders]

I'll be aiming for an intervention-free hospital birth again. I would consider home birth - but it is illegal for anyone to help you with a home birth here in Illinois (can you believe that!) and I don't feel confident doing it without any expertise there.  My son was born in a conventional hospital, but I had a good experience.  The only intervention I had was that my midwife stripped my membranes in the morning.  I went in to labor that night and had a drug free labor at the hospital!  I managed to avoid having an IV and had external, intermittent monitoring.  I didn't sit the the bed much at all and the nurses worked to do the monitoring while I was moving.  I'm happy with the experience I had - but do feel like it was lucky and had to do with the people who happened to be working that night... I hope I'll be able to have a similar experience this time.

[kelantan]

mymaya: I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I understand having complicated, frustrating births. You will always have open ears with me as i have struggled with the same. Also, i hope you are able to find some peace and hope in this pregnancy. I wish peace for you (and an uncomplicated birth)

[mymaya]

Dear Kelly, Thank you for your kind words. they mean a lot to me. Last night I was hit by the stomach flu, and vomited 15 times, on top of "the other stuff". At first I was terrified by the idea that it might be "just" morning sickness (at night), and that it was too intense for me to stand.... it became very obvious quickly that my body had been invaded by the monster flu. So this morning, all achy, groggy and sick, I had my ultrasound. They found one gestational sac, dated exactly 5 weeks and 4 days (exactly per my calculations), and a yolk sac, but no baby. technician said it is too early sometimes to see. I am to repeat the ultrasound at exactly 7 weeks, next Friday (the 20th). My doctor said he had seen many cases where the fetal pole isn't visible so early. I know it's true, but, as you can imagine, it doesn't help........ so another 10 days for me to wait. obviously, I assume that is we don't see a baby at 7 weeks it means doomed blighted ovum. 

Can I just say it has been an EVENTFUL new year?....:)

mymaya.

[Ava's Mama]

I am planning a homebirth.  DD was a planned hospital birth with midwives but the labor moved so quickly that I delivered in an ambulance.  So thankful that it was quick and easy, but I wish I had been as educated about birth as I am now and just trusted my body and not felt that it was an emergency. 

mymaya - I hope these next 10 days go quickly for you.

[womenswisdom]

Originally Posted by amanders 

I'll be aiming for an intervention-free hospital birth again. I would consider home birth - but it is illegal for anyone to help you with a home birth here in Illinois (can you believe that!) and I don't feel confident doing it without any expertise there.  My son was born in a conventional hospital, but I had a good experience.  The only intervention I had was that my midwife stripped my membranes in the morning.  I went in to labor that night and had a drug free labor at the hospital!  I managed to avoid having an IV and had external, intermittent monitoring.  I didn't sit the the bed much at all and the nurses worked to do the monitoring while I was moving.  I'm happy with the experience I had - but do feel like it was lucky and had to do with the people who happened to be working that night... I hope I'll be able to have a similar experience this time.

Just in case you want to check into that more, I believe that there are CNMs and even an OB practice that do homebirths in Illinois. It's not illegal for anyone, just CPMs/DEMs.

[kelantan]

mymaya I'm so sorry! That is terrible! I hope these next 10 days fly and that you see you little baby and its sweet heartbeat!

[Carson]

amanders, yes to what womenswisdom said.  I'm in IL and had a perfectly legal, insurance-paid birth for DS and plan to do the same for this PG as well.  You just might be limited depending on what area you are in.  Ask around in the finding your tribe section.  :)  It sounds like you had a real gem of a hospital experience the first time though - the right nurses make all the difference.

[planteater]

Oh mymaya, I'm so sorry. I wish you a speedy and low-anxiety ten days.

[judybean]

Hoping and planning for a homebirth with a midwife with this baby!  DD1 & dd2 were medicalized hospital births (induced, epi, etc). DD3 was induced at a hospital, but no other drug interventions (no pain meds). DD4 was born with a midwife in another state (homebirth attended by a midwife was illegal in my state!), but at a house that she had her practice out of.  Now, homebirth attended by a midwife is finally legal in my state!  So I'm SOOOOOO excited to birth this baby in my own home!