I went trough something similiar.
I knew from an early age that I was bisexual. I lived this aspect of my sexuality pretty freely. Then, for about 9 years, I went into a male partner only phase, and had a baby. Mothering sure changes many things, on many levels, and I felt that in some way, the experience of mothering took me closer to my dyke side. My baby, now 4 is a boy. So its not his energy, but the energy circulating trough me bringing me closer to my lesbianity hahaha.
I started having all this sensasions and feelings, so I posted in a lesbian and bisexual forum, in the mothering section. Oh! Big mistake....people completely misunderstood, maybe I didn[t explain myself right, I give them taht, but really nasty things were said. I tried to explain that female sexual energy runs trough two channels> one is the adult, coital one, and the other the one associuated with pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. And that it wasn[t my child who I fetl atracted to, but trough the sexual energy in mothering (not coital, not adult) I was getting in touch with my desire for women, for a more periferic sexual relationship(like, not phallic), my longing for a softer, femenine partner.
Anyways, is not the same as your friend, but i learned that only to very specific people i can talk about this about. Women who have read some of the books I read, who take parenting in the way i do, knowing it is a continuum of female sexuality.
Now, I fully identify myself as queer femme, since i am queer, feminine and a feminist, and that[s too complicated for some people too! ha!
pansexual o quadsexual is too much to understand. But really, i go beyond binarisms, and felt attracted to transgendered people too.
I am married also, wich is dificult, since we dont have an open relationship per se, and i havent been with anyone yet, but have a dear long distance girlfriend and eventually we will meet again. Thats a conversation i need to have with him, since i love him madly but this is just who i am.
Hope reading more experiences helped your friend feel less alone, Rading hers made me feel less alone!