Screaming at my 3 yo

[mishaj]

Hi Mamas,

I have two little ones, 3 and 18 mo.  The three year old is smart as a whip and negotiates everything.  Problem is I am exhausted and I can't keep my calm when she tells me she will take care of the baby (and lets her out the front door while I was in the bathroom) or tells me she is bored of me and and doesn't love me.  I don't take it personally, we have a great relationship and I adore her, I just find myself screaming at her and it seems to be the only thing that makes her stop and listen. 

I know this stems from feeling like I have no support right now and I'm not getting any sleep and having issues at home and work- she does not deserve this.  How do I keep it together with her when I feel like I am falling apart? I just need her to say yes to somethings- and not no, no, no her way is the only way...

Please, advice?  I am going nuts..

Thank you,

Mj

[norasmommy]

Hi MJ,

What you're experiencing sounds totally normal to me. When my daughter was 3 we had another baby and I definitely think that it was the most difficult time we have had in terms of her behavior and my frustration level.  It is tough being home with children sometimes, especially when you are physically and mentally tired.  I have definitely raised my voice out of frustration and then felt guilty about it later, but I try to just do better the next time.  One piece of advice I really like came from a good book (at least in my opinion) called "How to Behave so your Preschooler will too".  The author talks about how the single best thing you can do to get better behavior from your children (aside from modeling good behavior yourself) is by trying your hardest to point out when your child is doing something right.  Even when it is little things like you ask her to put her coat on and she does.  I find it hard to do this when I'm tired and frustrated and I'm working on it myself, but I have noticed that my daughter does so much better on days that I look for and point out all the little things she is doing well.  That doesn't mean you ignore the negative behaviors either, but when you look for the positives, everyone is happier.  Good luck with everything...believe me you're not alone. :)