I ordered a vegan roll at a bakery yesterday and they served me a roll full of shredded ham. I'm a vegan and have been vegetarian since I was 6 years old. When I eat I always think of how the food I am eating is creating my cells and becoming my body. It's nothing I dwell on, I just think about it and enjoy that thought because I eat a whole foods, organic diet and I want those foods to be a part of me. I know it may seem trivial since I only ate about 4 bites, but I am having such a hard time dealing with the idea of someone else' flesh as part of my body. Generally in my life I have to focus on not letting myself become horrified by meat, by the reality of what is on someone's plate. The fact that it is an animal is impossible for me to ignore. Now that I've eaten it I'm really having a hard time. I keep thinking of pigs living in horrible conditions and that those animals are a part of my body. I haven't had any appetite at all since I ate it.
I probably sound neurotic but where else can I vent this where someone else might understand?