I have a five month old girl (born 7/17/11). I decided not to ever let her cry and didn't but after 3 months she started waking hourly (before that she used to sleep 5 hours and then not much after that). It's started to get to the point where every time I put her down she cries, or sleeps 10-20 minutes, and or sometimes a good hour. I tell myself that I won't get mad and I will feed her whenever she wakes up and cries (she was 12 pounds at her 5 mth appt so is hungry), but every night I end up getting super frustrated. if it was simple and just involved a 20 min feed followed by her sleeping 60 min, i'd be ok. but after feeding her 30 min and her dozing off and then crying when i put her down or as soon as i get settled back under the covers--this is making me insane and really mad at her. did dr sears really go through this? i got the ncss book but found removing her from the breast once she stops eating makes her instantly cry and doing this over and over gets me so mad it's better if i don't. There was 1 lucky night dec 31 where i put her down drowsy but awake (for once she wanted to close her eyes and not nurse!!) and she slept 5.75 hours, but otherwise I always nurse her to sleep. she used to nurse non stop but as she gets older, sometimes she can go like 20-40 min during the day without eating. sounds like other babies only eat every few hours. i've been taking lots of fenugreek and mother's milk tea since the dr thinks she hasn't gained enough weight (but i'm switching dr's cuz i think she's fine--just cuz she hasn't doubled her birthweight by 6 mth but is otherwise fine doesnt mean i should have to formula feed i dont think, she was 7lb 7oz at birth and 12 lb at 5 mths)
The thing is, even though I get mad at night, I'm not totally exhausted during the day.
For her naps I have to breastfeed her the entire time (well, sometimes she falls asleep and lets go of the breast, but I don't even try to put her down anymore) so I spent 3-4 hours a day with her dozing on my breast and it's ok--I heard that working on night sleeping first before trying to improve day sleeping can be a good strategy.
However, her needing to breastfeed so much really really stressed my husband out. He has a very stressful job and works 12 hours a day and then comes home and has to do all of the housework. I do managed to do laundry and cook, but usually the kitchen is a mess. I try to clean but then she ends up fussing so I need to feed her and go to bed early with her.
The other problem I've had is trying to do the babywearing--she pretty much hates it. I guess she just wants to breastfeed. I've heard it's bad to have them face forward but pretty much the longest she'll tolerate a baby carrier is if she is forward in the bjorn. She hates the moby and I've been starting to get her to tolerate the ergo, but maybe 20 minutes is the longest she'll take it before fussing.
anyway my most major problem is nights and how I should cope with her terrible ability to be put down. I gave up on that laying down while breastfeeding, she couldn't ever latch well and cried the whole time and it just doesn't work for us. I pull a backrest and an extra pillow onto the bed at night to feed her. However, she likes if I am sitting straight up. If I slouch down so that I can doze or get comfortable while feeding her, she starts crying and so I have to turn back on the light to make sure I can get my nipple in her mouth properly, and this gets me mad. also, she is in bed with me, and i'm afraid to move or sneeze because i don't want to wake her up so i get pretty uncomfortable.
Also, her naps are not predictable exactly. usually she can be awake 2 hours so that part is predictable. but it's hard to plan stuff and if i go somewhere I get super stressed that she's going to want to nap, and then if I have to wake her to leave, she will be crabby and unable to sleep again at home (so frustrating when sticking a boob in her mouth won't even make her stop fussing, when she is overtired).
and I can't even share stuff like this with my family (they'd say it's my fault, training her this way). And i regret ever sharing it with a lot of people, esp old people, because they say stuff like "she's got you trained!" and about her slow weight gain "well you have to feed her!" even though I feed her all of the time, and they say "well some of us don't have to luxury to feed our babies all of the time". someone even told my husband that i should only be feeding her once every 4 hours. someone else told me that she must just get foremilk since i feed her "too much".
my mom is coming to visit, we'll see how it goes... if she makes me feel bad for not being able to put her down for naps... i don't know if this is my fault that she must be always breastfed so much.