Almost 4 and needs pullup at night

[eggsandpancakes]

Okay, so the issue is not that he is still wetting the bed. I'm totally okay with that. The prolem is that I cannot get the darn thing on his bottom without a fight. our bedtime routine is supper at 5, bath at 5.30, some chill time and visit with the uncle and maybe a little bit of tv until 7, them a cup of choclate milk, a story, (glowstick & pullup), snuggles, and goodnight.

Lately it's been taking anywhere from 30 mintes to over an hour to get his pull up on. It doesn't seem to matter if I do it after the bath or after the story. I've offered 2 different brands of diapers and pull ups as an option. We have a sticker chart for awsesome bedtimes, and he doesn't seem to make the connection between being rewarded for his behavior and his behavior. In his head they are two seperate events, if that makes any sense. (I do suspect there might be special needs going on, and will crosspost this).

He insists he doesn't need it on, that he doesn't wet the bed, that the dog peed in it and that's why it is wet in the mornings. He screams that he hates me, that he doesn't need anybody, that he is going to run away. If I fold his arms in and just hold him he bites, or SCREAMS that I'm breaking his bones. He'll bounce on the bed, or crawl underneath it. If i let him go to bed without it and wake him up every two hours and put him on the potty he won't ever go in the potty, but invariably ends up peeing in his bed.

We've always had to take things slow and give him time to get used to ideas, but this is something I don't know how to deal with.

[pianojazzgirl]

If you want to go the reward route maybe you need to make it even more immediate.  Like you hand him a toy/sticker/whatever as he puts on the pull-up, or immediately after putting it on.  I wouldn't try to argue why/whether he needs a pull-up (I think he probably "gets" this already, but is asserting his control by denying and fighting the pull-up).  I'd be v. straightforward: "I will give you x if you put on your pull-up".

I guess the hope with using rewards is to get him out of the neg behaviours and into the positive behaviours, and after a limited time you don't need to use the rewards any more.  I don't really think it's sustainable as a long-term approach.

Good luck mama!

ETA another thought... what about using distraction?  Slip the pull-up on while he's involved in watching a movie, or playing a game on your phone, or whatever works for you/him.

[porcelina]

What about totally laying off and putting the diaper on him after he is asleep? They sleep so soundly at that age it is not difficult--I've done it if DS has fallen asleep in the car or something. If that would save you some battles that are not worth fighting and save your bed from getting wet, might be a simple solution. He probably won't need it that much longer... Just a thought!

[lifeguard]

My godson really hated the feel of the pull-up - I used to put it on him over his underwear so it wasn't so much against his skin. Yes, it meant a wet pair of undies but better than a set of sheets.

[Aliyahsmommy]

Honestly my daughter had sensory issues and refused any type of diaper and pullup. She peed the bed almost every night from age 2 to age 4. Honestly cleaning the sheets daily really wasn't that difficult for me though it was a little inconvenient. If it prevented a huge battle which might or might not be emotionally harmful as the child might not feel their feelings are being respected, then it was worth it IMO:) Not to mention it wasn't worth my sanity to have to deal with that kind of blowup every night and I think it would have harmed my relationship with my child as my resentment grew regarding the tantrums.

[Thecraftaholic]

my daughter wets the bed too. She got to a point where she didn't want the pull ups anymore, so we don't do it. 

I'm fortunate that my husband is an EMT, so he was able to get us some "chucks" from work. Chucks lay flat, and are washable and reusable, so we put it in between the sheets, so she doesn't see. At least the mattress doesn't get wet. 

You can try the pet thingamagijs that they sell so that your floors don't get wet while house training them.

The other thing is that we have to wake up to put her to pee. It's really the only way. She's four, and we STILL wake her EVERY NIGHT to go pee. If not, there's a puddle of pee in the bed ;).

Hope this helps. Good luck!