Changing custody from "joint" to "sole" custody

[kelisa323]

I haven't been with my ex in almost 3 years. We have joint custody and i have full physical. It's been well over a year since he's actually taken him for a scheduled visitation. He did see him one time for a few hours about 6 months ago at my son's grandparents house when they had him for a visit. That's it, no contact, no nothing. I don't have a phone number, or address to contact him. The only way i have contact is through email, which he never takes the time to respond. Recently my boyfriend and i decided we want to take my son on a cruise to the Caribbean. The problem is i need his consent, all because we have joint custody. Im hoping that by filing for sole custody, i will get it because of the extenduating circumstances. First of all he abandoned him, he neglected to keep in touch or give a contact number so that decisions can be made jointly and he doesn't show up for any custody/visitation court dates. I think i have a somewhat strong case but i am concerned that the judge will just keep postponing it and possible just dismiss it. My question is does is look as if i do have a strong case or is this not a legitimate reason to ask for sole custody?

[*MamaJen*]

If the most immediate issue is getting a passport for your child, and if it's at all time sensitive, I would start there. My lawyer is putting a clause into our suit that I have the sole authority to get DS a passport, and I can do it without ex's permission. Honestly, I don't think ex would ever oppose me getting DS a passport -- he just wouldn't be able to get it together to notarize the document giving me permission. So were you guys married and this is all in your divorce decree? Or if you weren't married, do you have custody set in a SAPCR agreement?

Changing from joint to sole legal custody is a much bigger issue and it'll probably take time and money to get accomplished. It definitely sounds possible. But if your main concern right this second is taking an international trip, I would focus on the significantly easier aspect of just getting the legal right to get your son a passport on your own. Also, is your ex paying child support?

[VocalMinority]

As you've described things, this is one of the most legitimate reasons to ask for sole custody.  It's not in the child's best interest for major decisions about the child to be dependent on the input of a parent who chooses to be uninvolved.  

If the issue wasn't a cruise, but surgery...because you're the mother (so doctors will tend to assume you have sole decision-making power over the child, if you're divorced) you'd likely have no problem, but legally you should.  Technically, surgery ought to wait until the other parent with joint legal custody agrees.  

[foreverinbluejeans]

In the state where I lived you could get the court's permission for a single trip. You could take a cruise that doesn't involve passports. You may be able to talk to the people at the court where you got your court order to find out what you should do. Instead of focusing on wanting to change custody for a trip it would probably be better to focus on the fact that you need to make decisions for your child and you can't contact the father. Good luck.