I am really feeling confused and lost lately. I grew up Catholic and I was very devout as a child. I had a traumatic childhood and my belief in God and Mary and the Saints really got me through some very hard times.
Then, as an adult I fell away from the Church as I learned more about some of beliefs of the church. All my adult life I've bounced from church to church looking for a good fit - Church of Christ, Lutheran church, and most recently a UU church.
I love the UU church, the people there are so wonderful and the UU church is mostly in line with what I believe as far as social justice goes. The only problem is it doesn't feel like "church" to me, I don't feel spiritually fulfilled there at all. I feel guilty about that, I WANT to feel settled and like I belong there, but it just isn't happening.
I keep going back and forth between going to a Catholic church and then back to the UU, and back again. Generally, what happens is I feel comfortable and happy in the Catholic church until the topic of abortion or homosexuality come up somehow, and then I leave and swear never to go back.
To make matters more complicated, my husband is Pagan. He's very supportive of me and wants me to go where I feel comfortable, but it's difficult to go to a church that feels that he is destined to Hell. (I don't believe that.)