And yes, I obsessively check my underwear and toilet paper, and often wear a panty liner because I'm convinced bleeding will start abruptly.
It's been a long healing journey for me, and the first pregnancy after my first loss was the hardest. I find that somewhat ironic because I have had two more losses, and another pregnancy, but by this time around, I guess I just feel more, I don't know, ready for what might happen? I don't trust my body, I'm not really OK with with whatever might happen, but I'm more prepared for what might happen.
Anyway, lots of wishes for peace and strength and a beautiful sticky bean!!