Ow ow ow ow ow (nursing my 2 year old...) - Page 2 « Back to Group Discussions

[sraplayas]

Me, too. One side has had more episodes of mastitis, biting, pulling, etc. That's the side that hurts more and the side with less milk.

[TenzinsMama]

Sorry so many of us are having pain while nursing!  Interesting that it is commonly occuring now, to this extent. I can relate to a lot of what was said by many of you... I was really suprised when nursing started to get really painful about 3 weeks ago, and then it increasingly got worse.  It feels like I've got several needles being poked into my nipple while he latches on.  It has nothing to do with the latch, it's always been excellent.  I've got quite a bit of milk still, as I can see it on his lips while he's nursing and also I can hand express easily.  It usually lasts about a minute or two, so it does become bearable, but yowza!  when he first goes on, I have to grit my teeth and I can't breathe for a few seconds... I really have to get myself prepared for it before we start.  My nipples are sore to the touch throughout the day, and especially in the shower when the water hits them and when I am trying to soap up.  And besides the pain, I've also had that 'crawling out of my skin' feeling a few times recently.  I seem to get it when I'm desperate for my DS to settle to go down for a sleep, and he just wants to go on and on and on...

Just before Christmas, he dropped the morning feed... so now all we do is before his one nap and at bedtime.  However, in the last couple of days I notice that he doesn't seem to need it like he did before, that he is becoming quite content with all the cuddles, reading stories, etc.  I'm trying to make him feel as okay as possible with the way things are going, so I've tried a new sippy cuppy (one that has super soft, flexible spout) with water (he doesn't care too much for cow's milk, unless it's from a spoon from his cereal bowl), and while my DH does the bedtime routine, we're trying to come up with a way that I can do something to give him his cuddles and comfort without nursing (just have to figure out how that is going to look).  We tried to go without a nurse at bedtime last night, using the 'don't offer, don't refuse' idea-- but he did ask for it, so I went ahead and nursed.  We are going really slow, so I think if we can go from 2 nursings a day to 1 on a consistent basis, then we can work on the last one... we seem to have the most trouble with naps, and bedtime he goes down without a fuss... I don't know which should be the last one.  Before I had a child and started going through this process, I never knew weaning could be so involved...

Anyway, I've decided that I want DS to be done with nursing before the baby is here.  Inititally I had this idea in my head that I would tandem nurse, but not anymore...even if the pain went away entirely very soon, I've decided I would just like to have a breastfeeding relationship with my new baby when he/she comes, because I honestly don't think I will have the energy for a toddler too.  I've made peace with my decision, it wasn't one I took lightly, but we've recently gone through 3 different cold/flu viruses (all of us being afflicted with 2 of them) and I thought I was going to lose my mind, it was so hard to cope with all the demands of everything.  I know myself well and I don't think I would be good to either of my kids if I ran myself down to complete mental and physical exhaustion. 

Looking forward to hearing from others who are going down the path of a slow and gentle weaning in preparation for the birth of the new baby... support and nuggets of helpful suggestion would be great!

[LionessMom]

with my last preg i weaned DD1 around 10 weeks preg. after baby was 6 mo she started asking again. so i would pump her sippy cups full every day. maybe 2 cups full. she loved it. she asked to nurse but didnt remember how. so she turned to asking me to pump for her every day. i did that for a year. 

[KristaDJ]

I plan to try to get my 3yo off the boob before this baby comes. I tandem nursed last time and it was REALLY hard. As soon as my baby was born I did not want to nurse my, then 18mo, older daughter; it just felt really wrong because she seemed so huge :-(. I worked through it, crying sometimes, and nursed her until she was three and she stopped being able to latch right for some reason. I hate the way we ended our nursing relationship though because I was just so done with it and hated nursing her. I want to end this nursing relationship on good terms and start a new one all on its own. <3 

[TenzinsMama]

Krista, that's what I am worried about-- if I didn't have DS off the boob before the baby comes, that I would then feel similarly to what you describe.  I can deal with the physically painful moments of late, but what has been worse are the times when I've been exhausted and he doesn't want to come off even though he's tired and cranky and needs to go to sleep-- it's so frustrating for me, and I just feel like inside I'm losing it... then I worry that he's sensing that and I feel so bad.  And when the session ends, I look at him and feel so guilty for feeling that way.  So definitely, when you walk about ending the current nursing relationship on good terms and then beginning a new one all on it's own, that describes my thinking/feelings.  Thanks for sharing!

[KristaDJ]

<3 I hope it goes smoothly for both of you. :-) 

[TenzinsMama]

Krista, well we just finished off the 2nd day of no nursing.  I was going with the 'don't offer, don't refuse' approach, and I've been spending loads of cuddle and play time, and nursing hasn't come up at all on his part.  We'll see what happens tomorrow... It saddens me to think that this might really be it, but if he's not showing any signs that he's having a hard time coping, etc. then I just have to be thankful for that and remember that I'm ending on a good note.  I was really worried that if I tried to tandem nurse and then found out it was too much for me and I didn't want to, that it would be all the more upsetting for him because then I would be trying to wean him and he would be in the middle of adjusting to the new baby at the same time.  Either that, or I would try to continue nursing through any discomfort/dislike for it... that certainly must be a hard thing to do. 

[KristaDJ]

I'm glad he seems to be ready for it :-D 

[sraplayas]

Just wanted to chime in that DS just turned 3 (!) and he hasn't nursed much in the last two days--just circumstances (we've been really busy, he's fallen asleep in the car, I fell asleep early and he cuddled with me, etc.). I think he is on his way to finishing up but I don't want to rush him. It's such a delicate balance. :) I really don't think he'll be nursing in June by the way things are going.

[tri31]

So my milk is definately gone, I know it's transitioned to colostrum. My ds only nurses to sleep. So for those of you that found you LO's weaned themselves recently, what helped them outgrow the habit of nursing to sleep?  TIA

[kjm279]

I am SO glad that my DD is not nursing right now!  I can only imagine the pain.  It hurts when I take my bra off, it hurts when I accidentally brush up against my nipple, I cannot imagine what it feels like latching on!  She was done at just about 2.5 years.  She was almost 3.5 years when I got pregnant.  I was still leaking milk at that point, but as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I tried to expel some and I was completely dried up.  I imagine your supply probably went down a bit too when you got pregnant and that would be another reason for more pain (other than the normal pregnancy breast tenderness).

[SarahDC]

Originally Posted by tri31 

So my milk is definately gone, I know it's transitioned to colostrum. My ds only nurses to sleep. So for those of you that found you LO's weaned themselves recently, what helped them outgrow the habit of nursing to sleep?  TIA

What worked for us to stop nursing to sleep was the Sleep Lady's book, at 18 months - it was incredibly easy with no crying.  It was like DD was totally ready for it.  It involves sitting beside the crib and gradually moving out of the room. 

However, here I am posting again because she nurses BEFORE bed (nurses then I put her into her crib) and nursing is still SO SO SO painful.  I am so close to weaning her.  I haven't just because I think it will be traumatic for her - but maybe it won't.  She's barely nursing at all anyway, just a minute or so on each side. We're going on a trip next week and I don't want to wean before that, but we may after we get home.  I'm pretty sure she's just dry nursing right now.

I also just finished Adventures of Tandem Nursing and it was SO helpful - a great read.  Basically it just made me more comfortable with NOT having a definite plan, and just doing what works for us at the time.  So maybe DD will nurse again after the baby arrives.

[KristaDJ]

I'm hardly nursing mine anymore. My milk is totally dried up and it stings when she latches and then it creates this deep suction feeling all through my boob that gets worse the longer she nurses. I can seriously only give her a few minutes before I have to take it away. She is falling asleep with me holding her right now and she is still waking up to nurse once at night and then she nurses for a bit in the morning; I seem to be able to tolerate it better if I'm sleeping. I am ready to be done, I think. I just wish she was.