Chat Thread: Jan 9 - Someone Starts a New One - Page 9

[not_telling]

Mama Hair - My default is either ponytail or "messy bun" (make a ponytail but don't pull hair all the way through elastic the second time) and I'm getting so sick of it.  I'm due for a haircut (I get about 2 a year since DS was born)...I usually get it chopped to just above shoulders...or, as I say, "just long enough to get it in a ponytail" -- ugh.  Even though DD is starting to get all grabby, I'm doing some wearing-the-hair-down lately, just to change things up.  I have very thick, wavy hair that tends to get frizzy and lose any semblance of a defined wave (especially since DS loves running his fingers through it)...which is why ponytails are so useful.

lifeguard - Enjoying all your exciting EC'ing adventures...grunts and waiting to be over the potty is pretty exciting!

hawks - There are definitely hawks in downtown Philadelphia (the science museum has a hawk cam where one made a nest), I just so wasn't expecting one to slam into our window.  And of all the windows on our house, certainly not the one that's under the porch roof.

Meet-ups - I'm only a few hours from NYC, but don't know if I'd be able to get up there for a meetup.

Poor DD threw up again from coughing a little while ago.  So sad.   I am feeling really run down, in that "body is fighting something" way.  Think we'll all hit the hay soon.

[dollyanna]

amy may & pi gorgeous pictures!  cool that you got to meet in person.

mama hair  I was just noticing how crappy my hair looks this morning.  I got my last haircut just a few weeks before DD was born, but that was over 3 months ago now... and unfortunately the hairstyle I have now has some "layering" to it so when it gets long it starts looking rather flat and blah.  I'll have to go get a haircut

not_telling yikes I bet that was scary.  Would totally freak me out.  Birds sometimes knock themselves out on the window in my office, but never leave a blood print!

AFM baby finally laughed!  Heart totally melted!

[lifeguard]

Ok - I've totally got to share this with someone! Tonight ds took some time to fall asleep & was playing doctor with his teddy bear. After some time I hear him calling for me & when I go in I find him sitting naked on the bed covered in... something. Turns out he had found 2 bottles of johnson & johnson baby wash in dd's dresser (they were brand new from a baby gift from when he was born that I just have never thrown out) & he had rubbed in the "lotion" to his whole body, his teddy bear, the pillows. Everything was SOAKED & the stench was unbelievable! I got him into a bath & changed all the bedding all the while chuckling to myself. I know a lot of people would be angry but I must admit I found it downright hilarious. He was just sitting there propped between the pillow rubbing this junk into his legs looking a little unsure as to what his next step should be.

I must admit I also think it is great that he could make such an incredible mess & then call me when he realized he got in over his head with no worries I would be angry!

I wonder how many washes it will take to get that much soap out of the sheets....

[not_telling]

Originally Posted by lifeguard 

Ok - I've totally got to share this with someone! Tonight ds took some time to fall asleep & was playing doctor with his teddy bear. After some time I hear him calling for me & when I go in I find him sitting naked on the bed covered in... something. Turns out he had found 2 bottles of johnson & johnson baby wash in dd's dresser (they were brand new from a baby gift from when he was born that I just have never thrown out) & he had rubbed in the "lotion" to his whole body, his teddy bear, the pillows. Everything was SOAKED & the stench was unbelievable! I got him into a bath & changed all the bedding all the while chuckling to myself. I know a lot of people would be angry but I must admit I found it downright hilarious. He was just sitting there propped between the pillow rubbing this junk into his legs looking a little unsure as to what his next step should be.

I must admit I also think it is great that he could make such an incredible mess & then call me when he realized he got in over his head with no worries I would be angry!

I wonder how many washes it will take to get that much soap out of the sheets....

Oh my god...too effin hilarious.

I think I'd be torn between thinking it was really funny and being annoyed at the clean up entailed.  But...note to self...get rid of the bottles of baby wash and baby lotion that we received when DS was born that we never used and are just sitting on a bookshelf in the hallway waiting for someone to do something with them...because that someone might end up being DS.

[RosemaryS-F]

Lifeguard your son--I love him! All your stories are the best.

Birds of prey (wow, we have some interesting topics) Last year there was a nesting pair of falcons on this office building in Cambridge, MA. For the longest time I would drive by there doing my deliveries, and there would be ALL these people with huge cameras and telescopes, and I could not figure out why until I finally saw the huge nest. It was cool when the baby birds were born.

Hair: I cut my own hair and bangs. I twist all the hair on top of my head in a ponytail and cut off the number of inches that I want to remove. Then I brush it out, twist it on top of my head in the other direction and do this again, cutting away the stray hairs. There are videos on Youtube of how to do this. It gives you a great, subtly layered cut. Lots of compliments, too! There are cut your own bangs tutorials also.

Nicole I think of you every time I go to my parents' house. Was in your town just last week. If you mean it, I will let you know and we can meet up in Concord!

 

[LaBruja]

Sigh...I am not on here all that often anymore, and when I do get a chance to check the DDC I always get so intimidated by how much I've missed that I don't post. But...I need some DDC love today, so I'm posting even though there's no way I can comment on everyone...rest assured I'm reading along though!

Lifeguard: your son is so adorable...he sounds like such a sweetheart! I'm sure that it's a very wonderful feeling to know that he isn't afraid to come to you for help even if he's done something questionable...good for you mama:)

Pi and Amy: too cute! Love the pictures...so cool that you four got to meet up.

Birds of prey: my parents live next to a river, and there is a resident pair of bald eagles that nests in the cottonwoods across the river. DH and I were out in the woods one day and heard this crazy, high-pitched, LOUD warbling that was quite pretty but sounded way too "big" to be a songbird...we looked up and there were a couple of juvenile bald eagles sitting in the tree right above us. I had no idea bald eagles could even make sounds like that!

Mama hair: I'm to the point where I'm seriously considering just shaving my head and telling DH to suck it (he loooves my long hair and hates it when I cut it).

AFM: maybe this is just normal new-mama hormonal weirdness, but I just all of a sudden feel like I've hit bottom. For the last week or so, I haven't been able to sleep...I just lay there and worry about anything and everything. I like working (and for financial reasons it's not possible for me to be a SAHM), but I HATE leaving DD...I'm still crying in the car on the way to work almost every day. Work itself has been overwhelming, with 3 months of work to catch up on plus all the fallout from several major incidents this month. Aaand I feel like a horrible person because I don't feel very close to my husband right now. It's totally irrational and unreasonable, but I've realised part of it is that I really resent the fact that he gets to stay home with DD, even though I do think it's wonderful that we even have that option. I'm also on edge because I don't know what our custody schedule is with DSS more than a week or two in advance, which is totally crazy-making when it comes to trying to schedule anything (it's a 2-hour round trip to pick him up too, which just adds to the difficulty). I had a root canal in November and I STILL haven't made an appointment to have the permanent filling done because of this. He is supposed to be working with DSS's mom to come up with a more permanent arrangement, but he hates talking to her or even having to think about it, so he won't do it unless I force him to...which, honestly, is ridiculous. To top everything off, I still can't fit into any of my pre-pg pants and I have been avoiding mirrors like the plague because I just feel so gross and ugly.

Double sigh. Sorry about the rant. I've just been so miserable I had to get some of it out there. Hope you are all having better weeks than I am!

ETA: I felt like such a grump after this post I had to think of something positive to add...DD is responding pretty consistently to signs! She has this little fake cough/laugh noise that she makes now when she wants something, so I'll sign and say "milk?" or "diaper?" and she repeats the noise when I say/sign the right one. Mind-bogglingly cool that at 3-1/2 months she can tell me what she wants without needing to fuss at all!

Edited by LaBruja - 1/25/12 at 10:08am

[livacreature]

LaBruja: I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  :(

Lifeguard: HAHA.  I love that you are relaxed about such things.

Dollyanna: YAY laughter.  It's so awesome!

AFM: Finally packing up newborn clothes and sending them to an expecting friend back home.  I know she was in them longer than most babies, but I'm hating to part with them.  I came across her tiny preemie stuff from her first weeks.  I can't believe how tiny she was.  I had a conversation with a friend today and I'm not totally sure how I feel about it.  Her son is four week younger than DD.  They are pretty much opposites on the temperament spectrum.  Aurora is a chill baby.  She can tolerate a busy office for a four hour stretch before getting mad.  We take her everywhere and she doesn't fuss.  Nothing we did, just who she is.  Her son is incredibly colicky and hasn't slept more than two hours in a stretch since birth.  She said that it was hard to be around Aurora, so when we hang out, could I not bring her and have DH watch her, because being around her makes her feel badly about how rough her son's transition to the outside has been.  Now, I empathize, totally.  And I don't want her to feel badly, but she is one of my only mommy friends.  I have to be away from her 25 hours a week.  I want to be with her as much as possible.  She has chosen to be a SAHM, and she thinks it is awesome how willing DH is to take care of our baby without me here, but that doesn't mean I want to draw it out.  I told her I would think about it, but besides the couple times a month I go out with my friends who don't have kids, I really prefer having her in tow.  It might be time for us to take a break, but it makes me sad.  She doesn't have other mommy friends either, and says that she really needs my support.  She's suffering from some serious PPD and I don't want to isolate her.  I don't know.  PFFFFT.

[Mainebirdgirl]

Hey all,

I creep around a bit but between working part time and 2 babies I don't spend much time on my computer these days...

La Bruja, I know people in my local 'mothering circle' have mentioned that 3 months is often a peak for PPD.I don't think that's based on any studies (that I know of) but I think it's common. I felt a bit of a let-down at 3 months because everyone builds it up to be this transformational time for you and your babe(s), but I felt things were still the same and it was a bit tough. I think it's important we are easy on ourselves with our little ones in all aspects! Talk to your DH about it- even if you don't feel close and you feel guilty about irrational thoughts. I think that alone might help. Not being able to sleep SUCKS. I've been struggling with this PP (and not because the twins are keeping me up- just my brain does sometimes) and it really makes everything much harder. I hope you can be easy on yourself and get past the rough spot! 

Pi and Amy- so amazing to see you and your babies together! Somehow combined they look exponentially more beautiful- there's just something so cool about putting pieces of a puzzle together. Pi, I'm super impressed that you went solo to a conference with your wee man! I brought the whole fam to my parent's home which was 1.5 hours away from a workshop I REALLY wanted to go to. Originally I was going to have DH and the twins at the conference, but we chickened out and DH stayed with the babes at my folks'. I shipped some of my milk stash home befre we left Maine and they came to the conference for a few feeds and a milk swap, so we were able to swing it.

Lifeguard- that is hysterical! I'm impressed you could see the positive side of it all. The thought of all the careful toddler-proofing we're going to have to do makes me shudder- and your story is a reminder that they will always find something! 

livacreature- sounds like a tricky situation. I know that I have felt twinges of jealousy with friends with easy babies- or DH and I often say how 'easy' it would be with just one (which is NOT always true, but two babies is a lot). Still, I can't imagine asking a friend to NOT bring a baby along. Could you meet her for lunch at work when you already don't have Aurora? Or do you think if you explained your predicament it would help? If she is suffering from PPD, I would think she'd rather see you and babe than no you at all, but maybe that's just me.

AFM-Part of why I haven't been here a lot is how guilty I feel for how non-AP a Mom I am. I am completely not the mother I thought I would be, but I never saw myself as a twin Mom either! As they are getting older, more interactive, and less grumpy (sometimes) and I emerge from the cloud of PP haze, I love them more and more each day and it's easier to be rational about it all. Still, when DD screams for an hour despite a variety of efforts and we eventually end up just leaving her to cry in her swing I feel beyond terrible- but I feel so helpless. Then after freaking out for a while we go back to her and pick her up again and she'll start to smile, and all is forgotten. Whaaa? (note- this doesn't happen much, but it happened yesterday and I'm still traumatized). I can't imagine what her toddler tantrums will be like. Sometimes I feel horrible for DS as he's such a mellow, easier babe he gets the short end of the stick... but then since he's good natured we also end up enjoying to spend time with him so he gets some quality time.  

It's so incredible to see how they develop differently and they are such night and day personalities from the get-go. Our son has started to belly laugh and it kills me. I have a video that I could watch all day at the office. She is physically stronger and can stand really well on her own (minus balance issues, of course). When DD is in a good mood- which happens more and more- watch out! She's all smiles and sunshine- it's amazing (particularly in contrast to her grumpy inconsolable self).

Really, both are pretty good babes. We flew last week and they handled it all really well- hooray for good little travelers! I'm still sort of shocked that we flew with 3.5 month old twins...

I feel like I'm rambling and not making much sense- big shock! I just wanted to throw out what's happening in my world and try to make sense of the chaos in my brain these days...

[starling&diesel]

LaBruja ...  I hope things level off for you. We missed you!

Mainebird ... Lovely to see you too! I cannot imagine having two infants.  Hats off to you, mama!

Liv ... I think you're friend is being unreasonable, no matter how painful her situation is. I think I'd say something like, "I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time, but the baby and I are a package deal, so when you're ready to hang out, let me know.". I think the onus is on her to do her own work to come to terms with her disappointments about motherhood and parenting.  Having dealt with infertility for nearly two decades, I knew it was up to me to deal with my grief and resentment rather than get it all over my friends and loved ones as they became parents.

[theboysmama]

I agree full with starling on the friend issue. Unless she plans on having her baby somewhere and it is just the 2 of you hanging out on ocassion than that would make since but to have you leave your baby at home while she brings her baby doesn't make any since at all. This is her deal and when she is ready you can hang out again. It is not your fault that she feels uncomfortable (unless you are going on and on adn on about what a wonderful baby you have and how hers sucks! which I don't think is the case). This is her deal. I struggled with pg friends and friends with small babies when Emeric died. Some it worked out as they were really understanding and others I had to take a break. I never asked anyone to not be pg around me or not bring there baby. Package deal is a good point.

I love that we are having more people return to the ddc. It is usually way dead by now NOT having people return. Love it!

My baby is such a swing head. Part of me feels guilty but a bigger part of me LOVES it!!! She just doesn't like being worn very often and would much prefer the swing. She doesn't really like sleeping with me either so the swing it is. She sleeps a 4-6 hr stretch in there at nigh and another 2-3 hr one and is just in bed with me for a few hours. soooooo weird. I have never gotten that much sleep w/ a nb and never had them out of my bed for even a min. I don't mean to brag at all it is just so amazing to me. With my 5th kid I guess I finally got a sleeper. hooray! I think part of it is that she is a good sleeper part of it is she loves the swing and the rest is that I have realistic expectations about what infant sleep is.

I have been going to mommy/baby yoga and love it!!! I am going to start going to a hooping class tomorrow and they said I could bring the baby. I am excited about it, I sure hope i like it. I could use some form of exercise in my life and a bit of a break.

[not_telling]

baby sleep - it's weird for me, too, having a baby that's not waking me up all night long like DS did.  we tried having DD sleep in the co-sleeper last night for the first time.  she slept in there for about 8.5 hours (!), woke up, nursed, went back to sleep for another couple hours.  truly mind-boggling to me...but we'll see what happens tonight.

no baby allowed - in agreement with others....you and babe are a package deal.  sounds like your friend could use some professional help if she's not already getting some.

exercise - DD and I are going to start going to mommy & baby yoga in a couple weeks...looking forward to it.  yesterday i finally did the exercises prescribed by the PT for post-birth strengthening.  then i did some a little lower/upper body work (without any weights) using a DVD called something like "strong body, ageless body"...maybe geared toward older women? (she mentioned arthritis at one point)...but definitely a workout and today my quads are so sore.

now if i could just stop eating so many sweets and carbs (she says, after just polishing off a bowl of chocolate cake and coffee ice cream).

[Katico]

Phew, so much to reply to!  I'm having a hard time finding free hands lately!

Man cold/labour  Amy May, wow.  Ha!!  Men.  They have no sense of self-preservation sometimes!  Saying that to your wife who has recently birthed, even in jest, takes some balls 

livacreature:  love your updates, so happy!  love that you're redoing your downstairs and doing it just right!  I'm doing our bedroom this year.  I've decided it's waited long enough, it's the last room and I haven't done a thing to it - it's rag tag and I'm sick of it!  So excited to do it exactly how I want it!

Rosemary:  I'm so sad for you, missing out on the meet-up!  But if you got to meet Nicole that would also be wonderful!  Yay!

Babies meeting IRL: HOW FREAKING ADORABLE!! You ladies and your babies are so cute.  

RSV:  not_telling:, I hope it isn't RSV your littles are dealing with.  It is dragging on and on at our house.  None of feel 100% yet.  Claire's cough is gone thankfully, but she still having days when every breath is this sad little snorty wheeze  

Nosefrida:  Yeah, I usually skip the filter - I figure that whatever they have I'm going to get no matter what.  

Nicole: tell us more about this whole Furrs/shamrocks deal!    Also, I can't believe Saphira's getting teeth!!!!!

alcohol: y'know what's weird?  I expected to be a cheap drunk post pregnancy but I feel like I have a greater tolerance!  wtf?!  I can have a few drinks and feel almost nothing...so weird. 

solids:  livacreature, seeing your pics of the avacado makes me sooooo excited!!!!  Can't wait!

Valentines decorating:  haha, so glad my pipecleaners have inspired    We're definitely making a big deal about Valentines here for DD1. although the process of hanging a heart banner today with DD1 trying to help (read: pulling chairs over onto my toes to try and reach high enough to help hang the fragile paper banner that was too high for her to reach even with the chairs, while I asked her over and over to please just let mommy hang the (gd f'ing (internal dialogue)) banner and I would let her help with the rest of the decorating) kind've killed my festive spirit.  

Birds of Prey:  I think this is why our DDC is still so active.  It's never boring 

Social Groups: does anyone know when they're kicking us out?

yellowdart, LaBruja, Mainebirdgirl:  So glad you're all chiming in.  So nice to hear your updates!!!!! Please don't ever feel awkward jumping in after an absence!

mama hair: ugh.  I totally need a haircut.  It's gotten long enough that my layers are weird and so it's been in a (very short, unflattering) ponytail
 

lifeguard:  I'd totally be worried about that much soap going into the washer - esp if you have a front loader, can't too many bubbles wreck washers?  I dunno, I'd be rinsing it in the tub first.  You're such a cool mama, love that he knew he could call for help, haha

3 months rock bottom  Yep.  My theory is that it all starts to really catch up to you around now.  The fatigue, the isolation, the demands of older kids and husbands (and work), hormones are doing crazy things, your body still isn't normal.  I think this is very, very normal.  LaBruja,  it sounds like you have every right to be overwhelmed right now - there's a lot going on in your world!  Be gentle with yourself   Funny how I can give that advice and so sincerely mean it....but can't apply it to myself..

"Less AP than I expected"  Mainebirdgirl, props to you, twin mama!!!!  Seriously...I am in awe of parents with multiples!  It makes me sad that you feel like you wouldn't be welcome because you aren't AP "enough"....I think we all have a range of parenting styles here...and, what I have come to realize, as a parenting expert with almost 3 years experience under my belt haha, is that AP isn't about checking off the boxes of "what you do", it's about listening to your child and parenting with respect.    I had a bit of an identity crisis after DD1 was born - I wasn't quite the parent I thought I would be - I couldn't breastfeed, did that mean I couldn't call myself AP?  My child didn't WANT to be in arms or a carrier all the time - she wanted to sit and look at the world.  She LOVED her jumperoo a friend lent us.  LOVED the damned thing.  All she wanted to do in the world was jump!  Claire looooves her swing, something I never thought I would own but am so grateful for with a toddler to take care of as well. She also wants to be sitting and jumping just like her sister.    

And I think that the logistics of two infants necessitates some gear!  Girl, own it!   And sometimes, babies just have to cry.  Sometimes, there is nothing you can do for them.  sometimes they just need to let it out.  It isn't "un-AP" to set them down  after you have tried everything.  We were talking about that here recently - that sometimes it seems like they just need that cry and all you can do is be there for them.  Hugs to you!

Friends sans baby:

Originally Posted by starling&diesel 

Liv ... I think you're friend is being unreasonable, no matter how painful her situation is. I think I'd say something like, "I'm so sorry that you're having a hard time, but the baby and I are a package deal, so when you're ready to hang out, let me know.". I think the onus is on her to do her own work to come to terms with her disappointments about motherhood and parenting. 

Totally in agreement.  

Originally Posted by theboysmama

My baby is such a swing head. Part of me feels guilty but a bigger part of me LOVES it!!! She just doesn't like being worn very often and would much prefer the swing. She doesn't really like sleeping with me either so the swing it is. 

And this.  Love the swing.  I can't help it.  She naps so well in there and it means I can get other things done! 
 

AFM: Sigh.  Snow, rain, basement flooded with sewer water , a husband who is so smart but SO STUPID (and resulting marital strife), first, neverending, awful PP period......it's already been a long week.

But, the flooding means finally getting the sketchy drain fixed, and perhaps even getting a new floor to replace the very old concrete!! Yay!  Which means I can finally have a decent laundry area! And my contractor is coming by next week to fix a whole list of things in this old house that are everyday nuisances - painting I couldn't do, light fixtures replaced, plaster repaired.  Very exciting.

All I want in the world right now is the biggest bag of doritos I can find.  am I a 12 year old boy? wtf period cravings?!

Claire is 3 months old this week.  I can hardly believe it.  She is all about standing and jumping.  I hope she walks early like her sister did (9mo).  She's found her voice, lots of talking...and lots of raspberries and bubble blowing.  Adorable.  I just love her so much.  She is the sweetest, roly poly, jolly, happy little thing.  It's amazing, thinking back to worrying that you couldn't love another child like you did your first...and you so completely can.  

ETA: I totally had a dream about you all last night.  It was another dream that we had a convention and all got together and theboysmama was leading a talk on ....milk....not sure exactly what to do with milk, just milk, and she had Saphira in tow.  And you were all there and it was so fun.

[lifeguard]

labruja - I'm sorry you're having a rough go. I certainly find for me the pp hormones seem to go in waves. I'll be toodling along just fine & then be blindsided but a few baaaad days. It must be hard to leave your lo at home.

livacreature - I agree with others & especially with Starling. In the years we were ttc unsuccessfully there were times I had to distance myself from people with babies but I never would have dreamed to ask them not to bring their babies around me - I knew it was my issue. Maybe you can suggest just keeping up via the phone or e-mail for the time being?

mainebirdgirl - sometimes we just need a sanity break - if you know dd is safe & need that break it is ok. Sounds like you are doing a good job of balancing too babies - I'm impressed!

theboysmama - swinghead - heehee. Dd is ok in the swing for a bit but almost never will sleep in it. How amazing to get so much sleep.

exercise - I have been sooooo lucky with exercise. I made an arrangement with our gym owners that I could bring dd with me to the gym even though officially no children are allowed. She almost always sleeps through my workouts - apparently heavy metal music, cool air & weights slamming are the way to make this girl sleep! She's actually only seriously interrupted my workout 2 or 3 times. I will admit I look forward to being able to go without her 'cause I always feel a little on edge that she'll get fussy before I'm done or someone will complain & I won't be allowed to bring her anymore.

How come I only think to call the doctor to get an appointment at night? I did try calling the other day once but of course they didn't answer. 5 weeks of this sore throat & now I think it is getting worse again. Sigh.

[theboysmama]

Originally Posted by Katico

Quote:

Nicole: tell us more about this whole Furrs/shamrocks deal!  

My second son has Muscular Dystrophy as does my dh and my mil. ds2 interviewed to be the shamrock ambassador for our state. He goes around and thanks participating businesses for selling the shamrocks. We get some perks like free meals. Our entire family ate at Furrs (it is like a cafeteria all you can eat place) for free and they invited us to come in and eat anytime we want througout the campaign (till the end of March) for FREE. Ds2 spoke to all of the Applebees managers yesterday about how much he loved summer camp, etc. We will be going to Applebees on Monday:) (several of us can't eat there because of food allergies but the ones that can will really enjoy it)!

 Also, I can't believe Saphira's getting teeth!!!!!

I noticed her first nub about 5 weeks but couldn't believe it. We were at the dentist for the older kids on week 9 and I had him take a peek and he said it was definately a tooth. It broke through the skin on week 10 but hasn't done much since then. The second tooth is on its way through, should happen any day. They are the bottome canines.

Quote:

AFM: Sigh.  Snow, rain, basement flooded with sewer water , a husband who is so smart but SO STUPID (and resulting marital strife), first, neverending, awful PP period......it's already been a long week.

But, the flooding means finally getting the sketchy drain fixed, and perhaps even getting a new floor to replace the very old concrete!! Yay!  Which means I can finally have a decent laundry area! And my contractor is coming by next week to fix a whole list of things in this old house that are everyday nuisances - painting I couldn't do, light fixtures replaced, plaster repaired.  Very exciting.

Claire is 3 months old this week.  I can hardly believe it.  She is all about standing and jumping.  I hope she walks early like her sister did (9mo).  She's found her voice, lots of talking...and lots of raspberries and bubble blowing.  Adorable.  I just love her so much.  She is the sweetest, roly poly, jolly, happy little thing.  It's amazing, thinking back to worrying that you couldn't love another child like you did your first...and you so completely can.

sorry about your basement but glad something good has come from it.  

Quote:

ETA: I totally had a dream about you all last night.  It was another dream that we had a convention and all got together and theboysmama was leading a talk on ....milk....not sure exactly what to do with milk, just milk, and she had Saphira in tow.  And you were all there and it was so fun.

 

This totally cracked me up. A get together convention sounds fun!!! My talk on milk not so sure... We have allergies in our family Dairy/Soy so milk is a big talk around here. Maybe I was taling about breastmilk, baby milk substitutes, cowsmilk, soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, coconut milk, oat milk, rice egg nog, and all of these in chocolate (maybe even chocolate breastmilk). lol

[Trinket90]

So I typed up a big long post on my iPod at 3 AM and something happened and ZAP it was gone. :( So here we go, all over again.

Back carries - I've also heard that it's not safe to use a Moby or other stretchy wraps for back carries. Babies can apparently fall out, especially as they get a little older and try to lean backwards. Apparently Moby used to have information on back carries on their website/pamphlets but had to take it off when babies were getting hurt? I have a 5 yard length of linen that I bought for $12. Eli doesn't like back carries, though, so I don't worry about it too often.

Mama hair - I got mine chopped off shortly before Eli was born, and I'm so glad I did. I do NOTHING with it. Even if I don't brush it, it's manageable if not pretty. My DH doesn't like it, but I think it's growing on him. It's so easy, it's worth it.

Get-together - How exciting that you were able to meet up! Rosemary, so sorry you weren't able to make it. What gorgeous little babies. Does anyone live near Washington, DC? I don't think so. :(

Teeth and other milestones - Definitely no teeth here, which I'm okay with. He's grinning his head off and babbling, but no big laughs yet. He's not rolling yet but he's working on it--turning his shoulders  and trying to get his hips into it.

Less AP than expected - I had never defined myself as AP, exactly. I just knew the way my parents had raised me and that was how I was going to do it. I hardly believed there WERE people who did CIO methods. How naive! I have to admit that I haven't done as much babywearing as expected. He tends to like his mamaRoo swing, and now he has a playmat that he adores. Also... and I feel like a terrible parent admitting this... he really lives to watch TV. And it's not Baby Einsteins or anything... it's like Law & Order and stuff that I watch. It's just the color and sound right now. But he'll sit happy as a clam for a good hour like that. Yeah... AWFUL parenting, I know.

AFM - Had to take DH to the ER last night for a tooth abcess... we don't have insurance but we didn't have a choice. He was in so much pain. Since we're in the process of applying for medical assistance we're told they may cover retroactively. They gave us an antibiotic and Percocet for the pain. Also they gave us a list of low-cost dentists. My mom and brother kept Eli, and my brother (who's 16) did a GREAT job. Got him to sleep, gave him a bottle, got him back to sleep. I was glad that went well at least.

[livacreature]

Katico: we had a pipe burst a few days ago.  NOT amused.  There are some many things I'd rather use my homecare dollars for.

Trinket: I'm going to be in a DC suburb for my godsister's birthday in Feburary.  If you wanted to get together for lunch or something, I'm sure I could figure it out!  If not this time, we visit a few times a year.  :)  Let me know!  Also, DD is intrigued by the tv.  DH games a lot with her while wearing her and whenever we put something on to unwind for the night, she's fixated.  It feel a bit bad, but between work and babycare, we gotta have the downtime at night before bed.  

Mama hair: I manage a shower daily, but I'm so glad I'm not alone in funky hair.  I've never been good at doing it, but now it doesn't meet often with a brush.  I'm nervous about when DD gets hair for real and later when she wants it all maintained and stuff done with it.

Maine: You sound like you're doing awesome and major props on flying!  We're taking our first road trip in February, I'm nervous!  

AFM: I talked again to my friend and she immediately apologized.  She said she knew it was unreasonable, she was just really overwhelmed when we talked and she knows it is her issue.  I'm super relieved.  I hate conflict and I don't have a ton of friends here.  I also told her  how much I respected how hard she was trying, and that while DD is an easier baby, her DS is able to be exclusively breastfed.  Neither one of us are meeting our ideals, but that doesn't mean our kiddos aren't super-awesome and we aren't going a kickass job.  Phew.  We agreed to go out to dinner, sans babies next week.  Today, DD is also crying after each time she eats, be it nursing or a bottle.  Not sure what is up.  She's never done this before.  I think she might be slightly constipated.  Her poop was a different texture then normal, thicker.  Poor girl.  

[AKislandgirl]

Liv; I'm glad things worked out with your friend. That really put you in an awkward spot.

Katico: yikes about the flood in your basement! No fun!

labruja: Sorry things are so rough for you right now.

Birds of Prey: Crazy story! Can't believe your window broke! We have tons of eagles here. I love the sounds of eagles. They all sort of congregate in town over the winter so you can look up and see dozens of them in the trees this time of year. Pretty cool!

Maeve is doing great these days. Lots of rolls- on the ground and on her chin and legs! LOL! She motorboats all the time and loves to chat with us. I love it! I sort of want to freeze time right here. Totally in love with this little girl.

I'm getting more confident with the back carries (woven wrap) which is nice. Starling was it you that asked about baby spitting up down your back? All the time! It is so gross.

She is always sucking her fingers and is a drooly mess these days. A bit fussy too so I'm on the lookout for teeth.

[Katico]

Dudes, watch this video - it just made me burst out in tears.  I can't wait to have another baby!  (you know what I mean)

http://marvelouskiddo.blogspot.com/2012/01/birth-story-of-week-in-front-seat-of.html

cloth diapers:  So I got all excited, thinking maybe I was making too much work for myself washing diapers.  So I cut out the last hot cycle in my routine.  Less than a week later and my diapers have stink already!  Boo.  Back to the old way, I guess.

laundry:I had a lightbulb moment.  I am always feeling like there has to be a load going at all times because there's always dirty laundry.  But what if I just commit to doing two loads (or three), based on priority, a day, from wash to put away, and not worry that there are still more loads to be done - just leave them for tomorrow.  I fell like this will make laundry less stressful, not feeling like I have to catch up or get it all done somehow, just recognize it as an eternal task.

I think I spend too much energy considering housework

super strong baby:  So, like I mentioned last night, Claire wants to stand up all the time.  And she wants to do it all by herself.  Anytime she is lying on her back she is trying to sit up, crunch style!  And if you hold her hands and give her just the tiniest bit of help, she will pull herself up to sitting and then push up with her legs until she's standing!!  And then she'll  laugh hysterically.  It is so cool!!  

[~pi]

Rosemary, hugs. It was such a bummer that we weren't able to meet you as well, but I will almost certainly be back again.

Trinket, yikes, I hope your DH feels better now and the insurance works retroactively!

lifeguard, LOL over your DS' adventure.

Mainebirdgirl, woo-hoo for flying and conference attending!

livacreature, I'm so glad things worked out with your friend.

mama hair: Aside from when I shaved my head in my twenties, I've always had long hair, but I cut it all off a few years ago. Basically, it frames my face similarly to a ponytail but is much more stylish and quicker to dry. I had been keeping it in a bun all the time, and it was boring. Now I have a pixie-ish cut and can style it different ways depending on how I'm feeling, but my usual style is to just shower and go. I towel it off, run my fingers through a few times to tame the cowlicks, and voila, done. I spend the time I used to spend dealing with long hair putting on a little makeup. At my age (36) it's a much better use of my time! And when I have more time, I put a little product in, make it spiky, flatten it all down, etc. It's fun. I highly recommend short cuts.

AP-ness: I honestly do not stress about this. I do the best I can to be a good parent according to my own definition (which has a lot in common with ideals of AP, but isn't a perfect overlap), and within my own limits. I try to stay as balanced as I can. No one is going to be served by me burning myself out, and I think the drive for perfect AP-ness, as I have seen it played out here at MDC, is harmful to mothers and children. And, most importantly, I don't think it is a good use of my time to be stressing myself out over tiny little things in my privileged children's lives that probably won't matter when they are grown when there are children all over the world who don't get enough to eat.

ETA: By the way, I hope this didn't come across as, "It's stupid to worry about your parenting." I've done my fair share of worrying: "Am I doing a good enough job as a mother/partner/friend/scholar/etc.?" I just feel very strongly that 1) striving for perfect parenting is counter-productive, 2) any parent who is on a parenting forum is already well ahead of the game in terms of literacy skills and access to at least some opportunities, and 3) there are so many children in the world whose parents would love to have my problems. (Which isn't to say they aren't problems, but I find it helpful to keep them in perspective.) I don't know if I am making sense here, but that's what I've got.

Which brings me to, volunteer work: I already do some locally, but I am thinking about adding some more this year while I have more spare time. I am looking for ideas right now. I'm trying to figure out what I can realistically add that would make the most difference. What sorts of things do you do/have you heard of?

AFM, my talk went great, and everyone was super nice about having a baby there, to the point that people were practically fighting over who got to hold him. After the meeting was over, I got to visit with an old friend for the night before heading home. I got a ton of offers of help on the trip home. It was delightful to see how much everyone loves babies. J did very well on the flights and in the airports. I was really nervous about this trip, especially on the way to Boston when my original flight was canceled, and was very pleased at how well it went. I've traveled a bunch, but never on my own with a baby, so it was a lovely surprise to discover how nice everyone is. I had a lot of offers like, "I have grown children and I remember what it was like. Can I carry that bag for you?" People can be so wonderful.

Edited by ~pi - 1/26/12 at 1:54pm

[RosemaryS-F]

liv, I'm glad your friend was reasonable. I was going to post saying that I feel sorry for her (though TOTALLY unreasonable request, agreed), because it IS hard to have a cranky baby--it can even be hard for me to read about babies who are happy, chill, laughing, content.

I wish I could just fix my baby. If Iona had made it to the Boston meet-up, she'd have been the one red in the face and angry in the cute shots! DS was the same way. I console myself with dressing her cute.

Welcome back to all those mamas who've been away! I'm impressed with you all.

AFM: I have been reading up quite a bit on homeopathy, mainly the profiles. It is so interesting to me to see how closely these profiles match me and my family members. I first looked into it because DS was seeming really despondent and had such a tantrum that he got a fever and a sudden cold out of nowhere, after having gotten over a cold so recently. I discovered that I think he is the Natrum Muriaticum type, and got him some, and bam the cold went immediately away and the attitude became great again. Now if I could just figure out Iona's deal....