Both DS and DD slept with us exclusively until they were 15-18 months old. Since then they've had a bed and could come and go pretty much as they wanted. As they approached 3.5 or so, we really started to encourage and talk up sleeping in their own beds all night. When DS turned 5, he started to sleep only in his bed. DD goes in spurts, though for the past 6 months or so she's come into our room only around 5 AM. She is an early riser - 6:30 or so is her general time to wake up.
For the past 5-6 weeks, though, both DS (6) and DD (5) have been in our room every.single.night. They're in there by about 1:00. They fight each other (in their sleep) for covers. There's simply not enough room, and DD is TERRIBLE about kicking and flinging herself around in her sleep. DH (without my knowledge) locked our bedroom door Saturday night, so I woke up to DD beating on the $@%# door and crying.
I want to cry most days. I'm running on fumes. I'm getting maybe 2-3 hours of sleep a night, and it's not continuous. I cannot go on much longer. DH is absolutely no help during the night. Last night, I finally just told him to go sleep in one of the kids' beds because he would wake up and yell out, then go back to sleep. He's gotten up maybe 3 times at night ever in our entire parenting lives. It's not going to start now. His solutions are ridiculous (for example, "let's just lock the door, and they won't come in"). They're not solutions. They're more like proclamations. "We'll tell them..." He also thinks that returning them to their rooms repeatedly will work. I've tried that, but it didn't work. 1) I'm tired. DS in particular doesn't wake us up, so I don't always realize he's in our bed immediately. 2) DD just wakes up completely and then is hysterical. 3) I have to do it repeatedly throughout the night, and I need a time when I can sleep the next day.
Anyway, my DH issues aside, I need some advice on what to do. I'm exhausted and on edge constantly. I'm trying to work right now, and I'm just so drained that I cannot think clearly. I drink de-caffeinated coffee, but I'm otherwise hopped up on energy shots & B vitamins & eating to keep myself functioning that I'm going to crash. I ended up in the hospital when DD was 18 months old because of sleep deprivation, and I feel like I'm headed there again.
Last night, DS said, "if you're so tired, why don't you just go to bed when we do?" I don't because I'm so behind on everything. I cannot keep up given how tired I am. At the same time, I know that what he's saying makes sense. More sleep means that I'm more rested and energetic during the day. I probably could get 3-4 hours of sleep in before they crawl in bed with me. That sounds heavenly! Or I could suggest that DH just sleep in one of the kids' rooms until we figure something out. One less adult at least would give us more room. Long-term, I'm lost. I don't know what to do, and I cannot really formulate a good response right now.
ETA: DH has a fit when I mention going to sleep with the kids because they we won't get to spend time together in the evenings. I know that, and our marriage already is teetering. I get it, but I'm tired.