well, I know from reading the intros that there are lots of other mamas out there with young children underfoot. I'd love to share ideas on how to keep going despite the sickness of the first trimester. My daughter is 3 yo and I am basically throwing up all morning. I haven't wanted to tell her we're definitely pregnant yet (we've had a couple of early losses) but I also don't want her to worry about me. I keep telling her that I will be feeling better soon and that my body is just working on getting ready to make a baby (she knows that we want to have another baby) ... does that make any sense? She's smart as a whip and very intuitive about the people around her. I find this time so much harder because the demands of young children are so physical.
Balancing Morning Sickness with Young Children
I think that is wise that you are not yet telling your DD until you are a little more ready. Its hard, though, when something is obviously up! We won't tell my DD (4 years) until my 10 week appointment, when hopefully we'll hear the heartbeat, so until then, she is a little perplexed as to why I am always feeling sick to my tummy and laying down. But, I found it really helped a lot when I gave her something to do to make me feel better - such as *very gently* rubbing my tummy, or stroking my arm.
When I was pregnant with DS and in the throes of morning sickness, my DD was 2, and so I ended up completely babyproofing and blocking off the living room, laying on the couch, and letting DD watch tv a whole awful lot. She was happy as a clam! At least it was during the most cold and miserable part of the winter, so I didn't feel too guilty about not taking her out much. However, once I got into my 2nd trimester, she was so addicted to the tv, I ended up unplugging it for 5 months. Yikes! But, you do what you have to, to get through being sick and miserable, right?
It sounds like your DD is a little older, and maybe you could lay and read books to her, or put a table next to your couch/bed, and color with her while laying down.
I have to put in a plug for continuing to nurse through pregnancy. Though latch on is really painful, and nursing in general is not that pleasant, it completely incapacitates my boob-obsessed 17-month old who would otherwise be destroying the house, and lets me get a little rest if I have to!
One last thought.... grandparents! Right now, my in-laws are living with us for 2-3 months (yes, months) and though I am going insane trying to deal with all the family dynamics and drama, at least grandma will sometimes take them off my hands so I can rest. So, trying to make the best of the situation.... definitely if my parents lived any closer I would be dropping them off for the day (or two....)
Good topic. This is so hard. And I only have one 3yo, can't imagine how moms with more/younger do it. I have been dealing by relaxing a lot on the TV front. Dora the Explorer marathons buy me some much-needed downtime.
Nutrition is another downfall. I seriously just fed my kid ice cream, cucumbers, and PB&J for dinner. In that order. It's been so hard to feed my family the way I like to when I can't stand the sight of most food, and I can't stand up long enough to do any real cooking.
But the biggest issue has been holding my temper when I am irritable from the nausea and fatigue ... this one really gets me because I do not believe in raising my voice to my child, training him to obey, etc. I put a heavy emphasis on teaching emotional intelligence and respecting each other, and that kind of thing takes sooo much patience with a preschooler! I have been apologizing to him A LOT.
I haven't told him about the baby yet, waiting til 12 weeks just to be safe ...
Fatigue is for sure my worst enemy. Cecilia is great for playing by herself for a few minutes while I doze on the couch, but then when I have my niece too, it's just not feasible. My nausea is all but gone (and knock on wood it stays gone!) so I'm just praying that the fatigue fades with the end of the first trimester.
ha! this made me laugh out loud! I'm definitely battling the good nutrition front as well. I'd be happy to eat english muffins and drink lemonade all day but that just doesn't really cut it. We usually cook all of our meals based on what is in the CSA that week and lately I've been looking at the bin of kale, turnips, sweet potatoes, etc and nothing appeals whatsoever. I, too, have a hard time standing for very long, so cooking elaborate things is impossible.
I SO wish we had family close by.My mom is coming for a week when my DH is away for 3 weeks starting this weekend. It's something, but not enough, frankly. We are really far from family and most of my friends are stretched pretty thin with little kids too.
I think just cuddling and reading is a good bonding activity when motion is tough. Each morning, when my DD comes into my room to wake me up, I pull her into bed and give her crackers to eat with me. It's messy but kind of fun. Then, it's a lazy, slow morning as I try to do as little as I can since motion really triggers the nausea. Usually by mid afternoon, the worst has passed, and it's just fatigue and low-level grossness. Praying it will pass soon ...
My son is 2 1/2 and he's really great about giving me a break when I'm sick. He loves to read, so he'll just get book after book and bring them to me. We snuggle on the couch and he gets the mama time he needs...even though I'm super sick. I actually have tried to watch Sesame Street with him, but he tells me to shut it off after about 5 minutes. He's definitely not into television at all.
He will also play by himself for 20-30 minutes. I have a basket of construction and emergency vehicles and he'll play with them for a long time. He also loves to cook stuff in his kitchen in the basement, so I'll lie on the couch down there and he'll bring me his latest creations.
I'm really lucky to have a kid that's incredibly imaginative and okay playing by himself. If he were any younger (like around 2), it would be so much more difficult. I empathize with all of the mamas who have super young kids and are feeling sick.
As for cooking, I'm also unable to make anything really healthy lately. We eat a lot of fresh fruit, vegetables and cheese, though! Snacking throughout the day is our routine right now.