Hi all - I apologize in advance for this being a little long. I am a lurker on several threads here, but I am bad about logging in regularly so whenever I join a regular thread I always fall of the wagon and everyone forgets who I am... But anyway, I really need some tough love advice about a difficult KD situation. I just want to know what y'all would do in our shoes...
Ok, background: we have a 2-year old son we conceived via IUI with our KD. KD is a close friend of ours, we tried at home for some time and then got tested - we found out that KD's semen analysis was suboptimal - 20mil and poor morphology. After trying at home for 11 months we moved to IUI and found that only 2mil survived the wash. DP and I spent the 2ww moping, drinking, and asking a new KD... Only to find out that those 2mil swimmers got us preggo on the first IUI.
Our kid is awesome, KD sees us regularly and is awesome. Part of our agreement with KD is that his mom and grandmother get full grandparent privilege,since KD is an only child and KD's mom is the only surviving child. KD is also queer and has no plans to have his own children. We have a great relationship with KD's family and they're incredibly grateful to have our son in their lives.
So. We have been ttc #2 since 1/11. We conceived at home on our second try (surprise!!!) but unfortunately that pregnancy ended in m/c at 12 weeks. We started trying again in July and moved to IUI in October. We have done 3 IUIs and KD's counts have been **baaad**. 1.7 mil, .5 mil, and .3 mil. KD started supplements and stopped riding his bike 2 months ago, and we've only seen decline in his semen quality. These counts are low enough that most REs would recommend going straight to IVF/ICSI.
I am turning 35 in May. I haven't had a full work up but day 3 FSH is 8.6and anti-mullerian hormone is 2.83, which my doc (not an RE) interprets as saying that there's no reason to worry yet but that I probably don't have all the time in the world to mess around.
So.... What would YOU do in this shitty situation?
1. Keep doing what we're doing and hope for lightning to strike a third time?
2. Stick with KD and start saving for IVF?
3. Switch donors?
4. Some other option I haven't thought of yet?