10 weeks with twins.. need some support/coaching :)

[ithappened]

I just found out yesterday I am pregnant with twins (I already have a toddler- he will be a little over 2.5 when the twins are born)

Besides being 'deer in headlights' for the next 7 months. What now?

I haven't been able to find much helpful information online (what to expect, for example, is horribly scary). Does anyone have any books they would recommend for myself and/or for my toddler?

I also did not plan on having more kids and so I got rid of a lot of our newborn stuff and unfortunetly the people I gave it to have no interest in returning it so I am going to start checking the second hand stores around town for 'new' stuff to replace what I gave away.

But really, I am scared. I am terrified. How do you manage with two babies? I feel like I could barely do it with one.

[ThankfulMama]

Hi! I can't give you advice about after they are born yet, because I am still pregnant with my twins.  I too have a 2.5 year old and know that this will be a BIG challenge (and an even bigger blessing).  Here are some of the books I have picked up:

For me:

Mothering Multiples (LLL book)

Barbara Luke's book- When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads

For my DD:

Dr Sears' books- Baby on the Way, and What Baby Needs

DD loves reading the books and talking about the babies.

Hang in there mama!

[Red Pajama]

The book choices above are good ones. As for twin items, I loved my EZ2Nurse pillow, designed as a twin nursing pillow.

You will not need two of everything. You will need less clothes than you might think, too, especially if you have two of the same gender or aren't fussy about colors. What we did have was lots of cloth diapers and lots of  thin flannel blankets for swaddling.

In the Luke book, she recommends arranging help for you and partner after the babies come. I couldn't agree more. If that's a family member, all the better, but even paid postpartum doula help is preferable to doing it alone.

Understand that while no body wants it, pregnant with twins sometimes means different kinds of bedrest.  If you are working, short term disability insurance may cover if you are placed on bedrest early and cannont work.

Do lots of reading now, and make sure your nutrition is great.

Wishing you the best.

[twinsantenatal]

Firstly, congratulations on your news.

Secondly, your feelings and totally natural and will have been shared by many of the other mums who've had twins.  It can come as a massive shock and having people around you tell you it's either the best news ever or the worst news ever doesn't help!

Googling can just add to your stress as you've found as there are masses of overwhelming information online from no end of sources so if you can resist that at least initially that might be a good idea.

Some more sensible sources of information would be TAMBA (twins and multiple births association) at tamba.org.uk; your midwife may also be able to recommend a local twins group which it might be worth making contact with even if it's aimed at mums with twins who've already arrived rather than specifically twin pregnancies as you should be able to get some reassurance that people can and do cope (and enjoy their babies).  They should also be able to point you towards places where you can buy second hand twins buggies etc.

I helped to create a service called twinsantenatal.co.uk together with my sister who is a midwife and teaches antenatal classes.  It's aimed at people exactly like you who've just found out they're expecting twins and it may be worth having a look here too.

Other than that, I'm not sure on good books but someone else on here should be able to help with that.

Once you've got a bit of decent information and you know what to expect it won't seem so terrifying.

I wish you the best of luck,

Michelle

[ithappened]

thank you. I am going to order that as an ebook right away.. everything I found online so far was sort of scary and panic inducing.

does anyone know much about elevated iodine levels in the first trimester?

[EonJourney]

Just wanted to say I have 10 week old Identical twin boys. I had TTTS and had to have a c sect at 36 weeks. I have found having twins is wonderful. The first few weeks were a little hard because I had to nurse sitting up but now I can nurse side lying and sleep. They are calm happy babies which makes it easier too. I also have a 3.5 DS,.

Best to you.

[twinpossible]

Originally Posted by Red Pajama 

You will not need two of everything. You will need less clothes than you might think, too, especially if you have two of the same gender or aren't fussy about colors. What we did have was lots of cloth diapers and lots of  thin flannel blankets for swaddling.

My twin girls are 8 months now. Yes it is hard but it is worth all the pain! One of my tricks to staying sane is having a nanny come a couple times a week to play with the girls while I clean, sleep, do laundry, cook, and so on. It is really important that you take care of yourself during this whole process!

I would be careful with twin books, some of them scared me! Also, many of them are crazy about the "twin scheduling" which I found way too constricting but you might find it necessary with another babe at home. I am a go with the flow type of person :) I have always found it better to talk to other twin mommas on a one to one basis always keeping in mind that what works for their twins may not work for mine.

As far as "stuff" goes I can make a few suggestions that may help. I would try to find a Snap N' Go carseat / stroller system for you to use while the babies are still small. This will make grocery shopping and getting your older one from place to place much easier. When they are a little bigger we LOVE our Mountain Buggy Duo. It is narrow enough to fit through any door way, folds easy and weighs less then the BOB, City Jogger and Graco. I also have two bouncy seats which are light and portable, these make it possible for me to shower and get housework done. When they are a little older an Exersaucer is a huge help.

Try to stay calm and feel free to ask us questions. Everyone here on this forum is super helpful :)

[queenofchaos]

I found out at 10wks gestation about my twins, too.  They are 18 mths now.  I had girls.  My pg was pretty uneventful. and the delivery went off well too.  Natural, no meds.  A multiple pregnancy doesn't have to be scary or fraught with problems.  If you have questions about the delvery aspect, be sure to some back to the forum!

The books mentioned are good.  The EZ2Nurse pillow is a Godsend whether you nurse or not.  Nursing twins is totally doable, but there can be some special considerations, so hooking up with your local LLL and trying to find other moms (IRL) that have nursed twins is very necessary.  I was able to do it w/ no extra help with the nursing process, but I'd nursed 6 babies before that with no issues, and the twins were term with no health problems.  I was very blessed all the way around.  I suspect my case is somewhat rare.  Line up the support ahead of time, so you are prepared for any outcome.  Speaking of which, it is realistic to become familiar with all possible outcomes (regarding the pregnancy, birth, etc.) and what is involved with each one.  Try not to get freaked out, but keep the perspective of "I am arming myself with knowledge so I will not be caught unaware and I can do my best to support the best possible outcome." 

Anyway, I will cut to the chase or else I could type all day!  One thing to keep in mind, at the END of your 2nd trimester your body will feel much like it would at the end of your THIRD tri, if you were carrying only one baby that is.  But then there's that whole last trimester to endure!  So, whatever you decide to do to prepare for babies, you will do yourself a favor to get it all done by then end of your 2nd trimester.  Keep in mind, too, that the last month or so, your tummy may be so big that driving will be impossible because you will have to have the seat so far back to make room for your tummy that you won't be able to touch the pedals.  I didn't realize this would be a problem, but it was.  Aside from having help around after babies come (vital, for at least first 6 mths), it would be a good thing to have that help the last month or so as well. 

One more piece of advice regarding nutrition.  Besides eating plenty of fresh fruits and veggies and drinking at LEAST a gallon of water a day (not kidding) getting enough protein is your biggest concern.  (if you would like some specifics on that, I will share if you ask).  There are lots of different ideas about how much,  I found 80-100 grams of protein a day was a good goal. 

I have these books if you would like any of them.  I will ship them to you for free.  I only ask that you either pass them on to another mom for free when you are done, or send them back to me.

Having Twins and More by Elizabeth Noble

When You're Expecting Twins, etc.  by Dr. Barbara Luke

Juggling Twins by Meghan Regan-Loomis  (fun, funny read about preparing for life with twins. a bit mainstreamy, but found it very helpful)

Healthy Sleep, Happy Twins by Marc Weissbluth (full of sound advice; if your twins sleep well and regularly it will literally save your life!)

just PM me with your mailing address if you are interested

[ithappened]

One thing to keep in mind, at the END of your 2nd trimester your body will feel much like it would at the end of your THIRD tri, if you were carrying only one baby that is.  But then there's that whole last trimester to endure!  So, whatever you decide to do to prepare for babies, you will do yourself a favor to get it all done by then end of your 2nd trimester.

I didnt even think of that but thank you so much for that tip- also getting help the last month.. I am working on that but its hard because it seems ALL of Europe takes off July and August and Ive had a lot of trouble finding anyone who will be around then.

Did you find you gained a lot more weight with 2 then with 1 pregnancy? And how was the recovery time after birth with 2 vs 1, I mean, in terms of how quickly you felt 'normal' again?

[rinap]

I gained sixty pounds. I haven't had a singleton pregnancy, but I think a lot of that weight was due to the twins (lost 20 pounds in the delivery, 40 in the first two weeks, and the rest by six months out). And I started to feel normal in about the same range. But I was on bed rest for three months, so that took things out on me.

My big advice, is to try to step back and take some time to just be with what's going on. Not worrying or planning or doing, but just being where you are and with your babies (dude! There are two people in there!). I didn't do enough of that, but what I did do was good. And it's a good thing to do after they're born too. (and get lots of help, and not just with the fun parts...I spent months where I felt like I was doing all the dirty and crying baby work and others got all the cooing and cuddling, and that's not great, though it's loads better than doing it all myself...)

[ithappened]

rinap-  thats good advice but I also have to be honest and say I am still really coming to terms with the reality of even being pregnant (I was on BCP) and then the fact its 2 babies, wow.. I mean.. thats all I can say- - I am a bit terrified because we have no family help, no friends help and I made the mistake of thinking I could 'do it all' with my DS and ended up with really bad PPD-- so I am working on preventing that this pregnancy with hiring help (ahead of time) and to even get a babysitter for a while for DS.. if I can just get buy the first year and still be sane- I will consider that a major accomplishment.. :)

[rinap]

Oof. That's a whole lot to be going through. All the more reason to give yourself time to process what's going on. And good job on getting help early. It sounds to me like you're doing a great job so far.

Look into what help and support your country will supply. Some European countries are particularly helpful, and often even more helpful with twins.

But great job. And it's okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes.

[queenofchaos]

Oh, I know how you feel to be blindsided by twins.  BTDT!!!  It helps to find other twins moms.  We have no family in the area, and not a lot of close friends.  Try to get over being shy about asking for help.  You NEED it.  ASK.  A lot of people think twins are cool, so they love to help.

I had 6 other babies before the twins, so getting back to normal took me a long time, about 6 mths.  But I also have some hip and ligament issues.  Plus my body's kinda wore out from havng a lot of babies and not being to good about exercising regularly.  Plus, I am not the woman that loses weight by b/f'ing.  By all rights I should be stick thin, but I am not.  Not fair!  One memory that stuck out to me, tho, right after their birth, is feeling really off balance and like my insides were hanging out the front, oh and so sore like I had been hit by a truck!  Maybe this isn't a problem for all twin moms, but my ab muscles were soooo stretched.  I needed to bind my abdomen until things started going back to normal.  You should look into tummy binding, the benefits and how-tos.  You may not need it, but will be so glad you planned ahead if you do.

Hang in there!  You will find your way.   

[~Adorkable~]

oh wow i bought a post partum/ post lyposuction garment afar reading a bunch about belly binding and loved it sooo much. i did not have it the first day and i could not lean forward without getting sick to my stomach because things would move so much. i ended up wearing it for a lot of the first month and it really put everything back where it is supposed to be. i was loosing weight pretty rapidly and i think i could have ended up a very different shape with weaker muscles if i had not worn something to guide things

[ithappened]

queenofchaos oh yes, the BFing weight. I was one who did not lose with BFing either- my body clung onto 8-10 lbs until I weaned. It simply just stayed around and I assumed it was 'baby weight' until around 2 yrs I weaned my DS and suddenly it was off within a few weeks. I would be really curious to know what binding device you used and liked adorkable as I'd love to try it this time around, I still remember how much I hated that feeling of my organs being everywhere...

[queenofchaos]

Originally Posted by ithappened 

queenofchaos oh yes, the BFing weight. I was one who did not lose with BFing either- my body clung onto 8-10 lbs until I weaned. It simply just stayed around and I assumed it was 'baby weight' until around 2 yrs I weaned my DS and suddenly it was off within a few weeks. I would be really curious to know what binding device you used and liked adorkable as I'd love to try it this time around, I still remember how much I hated that feeling of my organs being everywhere...

I think my weight issus are a little different and not entirely related to whether I bf or not.  It's like my body acts like it's in a perpetual famine and all calories must be stored!  I have to practically starve myself and exercise a LOT to lose anything.  It is very discouraging.  ANYWAY...going off of others advice about the binding, I bought some shaping type underwear things.  I forget what they are called. But they are like granny panties in that they come up almost to your breasts.  I ended up not liking them very much and just used a bedsheet for binding.  It sounds bulky and weird, but I was able to better control exactly where and how much pressure.  I folded up the sheet and made it long and then wrapped.  If you have one of the Moby wrap type baby carriers, that would work, too.  I felt so sick to my stomach everytime I got up and moved around.  The binding helped so much. 

[mylilmonkeys]

Originally Posted by queenofchaos 

I think my weight issus are a little different and not entirely related to whether I bf or not.  It's like my body acts like it's in a perpetual famine and all calories must be stored!  I have to practically starve myself and exercise a LOT to lose anything.  It is very discouraging.  

I've had the same problem with weight for 15 years.  Turns out I have a lot of food intolerances.  Once I removed those, I dropped 40 lbs in 3 months.  No exercise, really, because it was over the holidays, plus babes have been sick and teething, so who has time?  I'm finally at my pre-all my babies weight.  Wow!

Course, it's not painless.  I'm on GAPS now to try to heal, and that means no grains, no starchy veg.  No fruit for now.  No dairy, corn or sugar anyway, because those are what I react to.

[ithappened]

I will have to do some research on the belly binding options I know I looked into it with DS and then regretted not doing something.. a lot of people seem to recommend a back brace or an ace bandage?