I am currently 34 weeks pregnant with my second son. My first son was born to me at 16 yrs. old back in 2009 at 29 weeks gestation. I had gone into labor unknowingly, was told I was only dehydrated, and almost delivered him at home because of it. He passed away a few weeks later due to an unknown heart condition that was aggravated by the need to have a PIC line while in the hospital.
During this pregnancy due to my 'history of preterm delivery' I have been receiving weekly progesterone injections since 16 weeks which will be stopped at 36 weeks. I was also getting bi-weekly cervical measurements up until 26 weeks. They stopped doing them because I never dropped below 4.2 cm and they felt no need to continue them. The purpose of the injections is to keep my body's progesterone levels elevated so that just in case they were to drop, they wouldn't drop enough to send me into labor. I also received a echocardiogram and they determined that the baby's heart is perfectly normal and very healthy. I have had no complications and no signs of pre-term labor and the baby has been growing well.
I have wanted a homebirth since I was pregnant with my first son. But due to living in NC, it is extremely hard to find a CPM since they are illegal. I finally found a practicing CPM in my area through a doula I was talking to. However, due to finding her so late in my pregnancy, we would not be able to afford to pay her half of her bill by the time he's due (Feb 21). So there went that option after getting my hopes up so high. A birth center is also out of the picture because out closest one is a 3 hr. drive away.
My boyfriend is very wary of out-of-hospital birth. He's afraid of something happening to me or the baby and us not being at the hospital where it could be 'fixed'. But I don't think he realizes that something could go wrong at home or in the hospital, and at either place it could be resolved, or it could not be resolved (even by a doctor in a hospital setting). I think he's afraid because of what happened with our first son, but there's so many other factors that play into that. 1. I haven't gone into pre-term labor (if I were to, I'd more than likely go to the hospital). 2. I was 16 and extremely stressed (this pregnancy has been much easier, smoother, a bit less stressful). 3. I was misdiagnosed which resulted in the delivery. 4. We had no way of knowing that the PIC line would do what it did, or that he was susceptible to it, but we know that this baby's heart is very healthy, and if born full-term should have no need for a PIC line.
I am actually very afraid of having a hospital birth. I'm afraid of them trying to get me to do something I don't want to or don't necessarily need, of limiting me and my birthing desires, of my baby being harmed, etc. I know how uncomfortable and unfamiliar it is there and don't want to birth there. I also may not be allowed to keep the placenta. And I also want to have a water birth terribly bad and our local hospitals do not allow them. After the care I have received at my clinic, I don't want to be delivered by any of the doctors or even nurse midwives that have attended me. They don't have the same ideals, the same care that one would find in a midwife. The main doctor that runs the clinic is completely anti-homebirth from what I've been told. I've practically done my own healthcare is how I feel. They never know what's going on which makes no sense since it's in my paper file, in the laptops they carry around, and I'm there every single week. It gets really old.... but anyway.
We have a close friend who just retired from being a paramedic. She informed me the other day while we were talking about my upcoming birth and how I really wanted to avoid the hospital that I could have HER attend my birth. Apparently paramedics are trained to delivery babies, normal, breech, even twins in a out-of-hospital setting. They are also trained in recognizing certain complications such as when the placenta detaches prematurely from the uterine wall, hemoraging, and some others. (I'm not sure the extent of their treatment training however for these). She is also trained in rating babies using the Apgar (I believe it's called). She is also a self-taught herbalist and has quite a stash. She's so good that she has hospitals and other care providers that contact her in regards to herbs. However, she said that she doesn't recommend doing a homebirth with this pregnancy, but waiting until say my next, "because of what happened last time." Again, I don't really see it relevant. Especially since this delivery could go perfect and my next pregnancy could not. You never know.
I would feel confident in her being able to take care of me if something went wrong and knowing whether or not I needed to transfer to the hospital. I have not mentioned the conversation we had to my boyfriend, and I don't know how I could convince our friend to attend this birth and be comfortable with it or how to convince my boyfriend to be. I think if I had our friend backing me up, that between the two of us we could convince him to at least let us try. I would like to be mostly hands-off, have her checking me every once in awhile. I could get a fetoscope and a hole birthing kit. I am wanting to become a midwife myself and I think that this would be an amazing experience for me, and i believe it is what's best for me, my baby, and our family. But I don't know how to go about it... how to convince our friend and my boyfriend... Does anyone have any advice, tips, suggestions?