I hope this is an ok place to post this. If it's not could the mods please delete it.
It's been almost six months and I finally feel I'm ready to talk about it.
Husband and I went camping, I had just finished my monthlies just before we went, and finished my last pack of birthcontrol. Couldn't get to the clinic before we left, but I didn't really worry about it. Did the deed while camping, had no condoms, again I didn't really worry.
Well I started getting morning sickness a few weeks later and two pregnancy tests confirmed it. We couldn't handle it, we were just moving out of his parent's place and into our own. Our car was hitting it's last legs. I had no job. So we did what we thought was best. It was the hardest decision I've had to make, I want kids so badly. I really want to be a mom but after growing up with a parent who had two children before she was ready I don't want to go through that.
And it hurts. I look at the calender and think how far along I'd be if we hadn't chosen to terminate. I wonder if I would have had a boy or girl.
I know we did the right thing, but sometimes I wonder if it was the best thing.