My nearly 3 year old DD is super smart, very verbal, curious, funny, loving and pretty darn adorable. She is also totally defiant - let me repeat TOTALLY DEFIANT. If I ask her to pick something up, she says no and walks out of the room. If I ask her to stop throwing food, she does it more to see the reaction. Seriously, I would pass out in shock if she ever did anything I asked without a battle of wills starting.
My husband and I are pretty sure we are handling this wrong, but not not sure how to deal with it. I negotiate, threaten (If you don't do X we won't be going to the park today) and spend a lot of time pleading. My husband bullies - he either puts her in time out (a complete waste of time and energy) or physically makes her do it.
I need a book that gives me concrete ideas of how to deal with this constructively. Every parenting book I've read talks about empathizing with her emotions, speaking to her like a caveman and controlling my temper. I try to do these things but I still feel like we are banging our heads against the wall. Does anyone have any book suggestions that would direct me to do X when she does Y?
Edited by ps4624 - 1/10/12 at 5:20pm