not new to mothering, but new to single parenting

[kindofcrunchy82]

I am a long time user of mothering, but needed to post under different name because of my DH. anyway, all the drama unfolding, he had an affair for well over a year, gave me an ultimatim about not treating his foreign parents right during their visit, (less than 2 weeks after I found out about the affair). He had sworn he wanted to work on our marriage, butr never put in the effort, and I caught him still lieing to me, chatting with women online, looking at matrimonial sites for a woman of his culture, he recontacted his original affair partner and then lastly took a new woman on a date, which I caught him doing a week and a half before christmas. He has lied to me about many things, has gambling issues, which brought out his temper, and finally the nail in the coffin was seeing him on the date with the new woman. That did it for me, he is claimed he was lining someone up and spiting me by going on that date. I am not a child and should not be punished.

He moved out two days ago. We are running through a temporary separtion and likely following down the road to divorce. He has now, finally expressed his desire for counseling, so hoping for the kids sake he follows through with that.

Not sure what I am posting for really.

He says he regrets what he did, but I just don't think I can ever trust him anymore. I want him to be here for the kids, and I still love him, but know that our marriage is probably too far gone by now. I hope to remain civil and someday be friends again with him, but now that that bridge is crossed I am pretty sure I cannot go back over.

[mami2f3]

It sure sounds tough. 

I know I go through phases of being unsure about what I could forgive or accept and being crystal clear that I can't be with him. Always the phases of unsure are because I worry for the kids, but if I was with him I would not be happy. I think about if I would pick him if I were dating now and it's a huge 'no.' 

I don't know if this has any bearing on what you are dealing with, but just wishing you support through your process.

[Mom31]

Sorry for what you are going thru. Welcome to the forum.... it is a great source of support for me.

[Kirstyandgirls]

Welcome to the forum! I'm new to this forum too, I kicked my cheating hubby out the week before Xmas. He back an living in the spare room for now but is looking for somewhere else.

Im sorry for what your going through but the ladies on here are an amazing support.

I hope things get easier for you soon. Be strong x