Looking for advice/insight into possible homeschooling

[Siera]

Hi -- I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter who is currently enrolled in a beginner-type program at a private school.  I'm also a part time teacher at the same school, although I teach 12th grade economics.  DD has been in daycare for half day since just a few months old since I do teach.  However, I've begun to entertain the idea of homeschooling for several reasons.  However, since this is all so new to me, I have a few questions/concerns about the homeschool approach and I'm looking for advice/insight from moms who have "been there; done that".

DD is very inquisitive and smart.  Because I work half a day, I use the other half day to play, go to parks, go to the zoo/museum, whatever interests us.  In a couple of years, she will go to full day Kindergarten, and I'd hate to give up this time we have together to do what interests us and her.  I'm also concerned that her school is too structured, that they are hoping all kids were like automotons, and just not teaching enough things that interest her (mostly science).  She does comment that she's bored, but this could just be because she'd rather be at home.  I don't want school to stifle her interests or limit her opportunities.  I just can't seem to find the right school out there for her/us!

My concerns: DD is VERY attached to me, has some social anxiety, and always wants mommy around.  I'm afraid that homeschooling would limit her daily interaction with kids and thus stifle that social development that she really needs. I'm also concerned she won't make the distinction between hanging out with mommy and "school time". Also, would she just think that because she doesn't go to school, she doesn't have to do anything? Just watch TV?  Am I setting myself up for possible fights with her in understanding the difference?  I'm not concerned about my ability to teach her; I'm a teacher and I have a masters degree with lots of university and world experience, so I"m not limited there.

Thanks for reading through this and sorry it may sound so disjointed, I just have lots of thoughts running through my head, and I have no experience with homeschooling!  Any advice and/or info you could give me would be greatly appreciated!

[Red Pajama]

Do you think that if you were to homeschool, you would continue to work?

The actual action of teaching one's own children is often so organic, especially in the early years, that I don't think you need to make a big deal of it being school time. It's just what you do-- read together, talk about stuff, play with science, go for walks.

As for some of your other concerns, I do have some trouble getting my 2 from what ever it is they are doing to come do whatever work I have deemed necessary. My help here is that we have an agreement that part of their "job" is to be willing students.  They would certainly rather play, but with a 5-10 minute warning they are usually agreeable. As for the TV, just have it on only when you really want it on.

[Siera]

Thanks for your reply!  No, I would quit work and make schooling her my full time job.  I also do not have plans for any more children.  One of the things I enjoy about working is that it does give us about 4 hours away from each other and it gives her exposure to other adults in authority.  It also makes school something that officially goes on in a particular place and when we come home, we have fun.  I'm not sure how she will differentiate between the two as she gets older. 

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by Siera 

It also makes school something that officially goes on in a particular place and when we come home, we have fun.  I'm not sure how she will differentiate between the two as she gets older. 

A lot of people would say that the lack of differentiation between school and fun is one of the big advantages of homeschooling.  Learning isn't something that can only happen in a school-like setting, and learning and fun aren't mutually exclusive.  What would you call reading for pleasure, playing Yahtzee, raising tadpoles and caterpillars, making up stories and writing them down, playing with Snap Circuits, or going to museums?  School or fun?  Those things are all fun, but they may also be part of what "school" is for a homeschooled kid.  (Or even for a kid in school.)  There's no need for your kid to see learning time as something separate from fun time; in fact, it's probably better if she doesn't.  Of course, there may be learning activities you want her to spend time on that she doesn't think are fun, but you handle those just the way you handle toothbrushing, bath time, going with you while you do errands, or whatever else she sometimes has to do that she might not think is fun.

As far as social development, I don't think just being around other kids on a daily basis automatically helps develop social skills.  When I was little, I was a very shy kid with poor social skills.  When I graduated from high school I was still a very shy kid with poor social skills and a collection of bad experiences: being teased, being chosen last for teams, having to give oral presentations even though I was terrified, not having anyone to sit with at lunch, etc.  I did also have some good experiences and I did pick up a few social skills over the years, but I probably would have been better off without the forced socialization.  Socialization for homeschooled kids is more likely to consist of activities with smaller groups and more parental involvement or playdates with friendly kids.  I think that kind of socialization would have been a lot better for me.
 

Edited by Daffodil - 1/12/12 at 12:45pm

[moominmamma]

I completely agree with Daffodil on the question of dividing "work" and "fun." My dd8 sat down on Christmas day to work through a cool new section in her math curriculum because she thinks of learning, in all its forms, as in the same category as the rest of life ... often fun, sometimes a means to an end, definitely worth doing. And some of her most exciting and playful pursuits are the most full of learning. 

My eldest dd was a lot like yours at age 3.5. She was in preschool part-time but disliked it because of the separation from home and mommy. She was beginning to read, obviously very bright, curious about everything, but very attached.

We pulled her out of preschool, because it seemed it created more emotional stress than she was really ready to happily cope with. Over the well-meaning concerns of friends and extended family, who insisted she needed school to bring her out of her shell, we gave her an environment that allowed her to remain attached for as long as she needed.

That girl ended up travelling to rural Thailand, Myanmar and Laos at age 14 with three adult friends for 2.5 months. She moved to Montreal (thousands of miles from where she grew up) at age 17 to live in an apartment on her own and pursue specialized training. Most recently she has been in China on tour with her orchestra. She turned 18 last weekend. 

I'm firmly of the opinion that meeting children's attachment needs fully and unquestioningly when they're little builds in them the security and confidence they need to become courageous independent people.

Miranda