how old was ur baby when they had overnights with dad?

[majazama]

I do attachment parenting (duh :P) and I can't remember how old my older girls were when they started having overnights away from home.

My APed boy is 18 months now, and spends about 3 or 4 hr.s max with his dad, before he wants to come home to nurse.

How old were your kids when they started having overnights with dad?

[PiperLime]

We're not there yet, DS is 12 mo and hasn't had any overnights with dad. I'm interested to know when other mamas started this too!

[mamatoemily]

My DD is 14 months and hasn't done this yet.  I am planning to start THINKING about it around 2...but I met with a child psychologist after my Ex and I split up to get advice about overnights.  He said that it is a very delicate thing to handle because nighttime is such a vulnerable time for children (and adults!).  He said it all depended on what kind of child she was developing into (needy, independent, etc), and how much time my Ex put into bonding with her.  He said I would just know if it was appropriate to try or not....

[VocalMinority]

Originally Posted by mamatoemily 

My DD is 14 months and hasn't done this yet.  I am planning to start THINKING about it around 2...but I met with a child psychologist after my Ex and I split up to get advice about overnights.  He said that it is a very delicate thing to handle because nighttime is such a vulnerable time for children (and adults!).  He said it all depended on what kind of child she was developing into (needy, independent, etc), and how much time my Ex put into bonding with her.  He said I would just know if it was appropriate to try or not....

It's ideal if both parents are child-focused enough to go along with such a plan.  But if a mother's being taken to court for visitation (IDK if the OP is, or not), the judge will likely want a more defined proposal from her; or will impose his own time-frame. 

I think my ex and I agreed to start overnights for our twins at age 4 (we split up when they were 2).

My state has reasonably progressive guidelines, as far as handling visitation differently for kids of different ages.  They recommend no overnights before age 3 unless the baby/toddler was accustomed to them before the parents went to court: http://www.in.gov/judiciary/rules/parenting/index.html (read Section II, parts A & B)

[mamatoemily]

I'm not going through any court stuff for visitation.  My ex has been pretty good agreeing to let me take the lead on deciding when DD is ready or not, since we broke up when she was 5 months and he didn't do any of the parenting before that either.  I'm lucky that my relationship with my ex is very amicable (now...it took a while) and so he recognizes I'm not trying to keep DD away from him, just trying to make the best decisions for her at the right times.

[quila]

...you are all so lucky to even have the option of having over nights...my sons have met dad as many times as I have fingers.

[majazama]

thanks for the replies. No, we are not going through the court system, thank goodness.