Preschool difficulties

[Dazedstella]

Oh wow, I just had a whole novel of a post about this typed out and it apparently got eaten by the internet.

My dd, 2.5, goes to preschool 3 days a week, 8:30-12:20. The preschool is fantastic, small, loving, kind etc etc. She loved it and went happily from September-December, until she came down with an ear infection while at preschool and spiked a high fever. We got there quickly but I still think it scared her a bit to be without her mama when she really wanted me. We only had two preschool days after that before Christmas break and she was definitely more worried on drop-off than she ever had been before. Then our heater broke, leaking carbon monoxide so we left our house to stay with my parents for two weeks until they could get the replacement part and fix it.

She went to preschool from my parents house last week, and had a bit of a rough time, and suddenly started stressing and crying about pooping. Her teachers were great, snuggled her, read to her etc to calm her down. Then on Monday she really had a hard day, crying throughout the day about wanting me, stressed about pooping etc. So her teachers suggested that maybe I should stay for a morning. On tuesday evening and Wednesday morning DD kept starting to cry about not wanting to go to preschool with no provocation on my part. On Wednesday, I went and stayed the whole time, she started out clingy and then eventually relaxed and became her playful self, but is still worried and upset about going to preschool.

Background on the poop issue- DD had chronic, painful constipation (like requiring major use of miralax, suppositories and other things that really aren't pleasant) from infancy-toddler until she potty-learned this summer (of her own volition) she is still occasionally worried about pooping, and pooping usually involves hanging out in the bathroom for 10-15 minutes talking and relaxing with one of us holding her hands before she goes. But she doesn't have constipation anymore, and doesn't need any treatment to poop successfully.

I spoke to her teacher some about DD's general worries that she expresses quite well verbally, her teacher commented to me that she seems slightly abnormal in her anxiety, although she doesn't always have anxiety about things, when she does it's pretty intense.

Help me make preschool better again for her! Any thoughts on things I can do?

[tbone_kneegrabber]

Ds has been at a fantastic preschool since slightly before 2 years old.  He is now 4.5.  He goes through about 6 month spurts of comfort vs anxiety about going to school.  As soon as we figure out how to make it okay, its usually over.  He'll have days and days of crying at drop off, and then be fine for months.  It used to be that if dp did drop off there were no problems and there were way more tears if I did drop off.  

I have seen the same thing with several kids, sometimes okay, sometimes tearful and going in ebbs and flows.

[clav]

We've gone through times with my son where he doesn't want to go to school and he will cry when we leave, but we just usually ride it out and it goes away.  I have found that if I don't stay long after I drop him off and give him a hug and tell him I love him that is best.  If I start staying around after I drop him off the problems intensifies and last longer.  She will get better and relax again.  I know it's very hard while you are going though it.

[tbone_kneegrabber]

I wanted to add that one of the things that I have always loved about ds's school is that if he seemed more upset than usual or his upset was lasting longer than usual the teachers will call me or dp and talk to us about it and we'll decide whether or not we can come get him.  That kind of relationship makes me feel very comfortable leaving ds even if he is crying, because I know I'll know if he really isn't *okay*

[Dazedstella]

Originally Posted by tbone_kneegrabber 

I wanted to add that one of the things that I have always loved about ds's school is that if he seemed more upset than usual or his upset was lasting longer than usual the teachers will call me or dp and talk to us about it and we'll decide whether or not we can come get him.  That kind of relationship makes me feel very comfortable leaving ds even if he is crying, because I know I'll know if he really isn't *okay*

Our preschool is like this too, and they have been fantastic. I guess I just feel concerned because they seem a little concerned and I have been relying on them for guidance as they all have umpteen years more experience at toddlers than I do, even with years of baby-sitting, especially at toddlers getting used to preschool!

She just has recently been verbally expressing a lot of concern, which makes it kind of hard. For me, it's easier to just push on through when she is just upset but isn't identifying verbally lots of things that we feel guilty about as concerning to her- like she's worried that I am riding a lot, but I have recently gotten back into horseback riding, as of September and am riding 3x a week, for a couple of hours (that includes all- driving, grooming, feeding, etc, not just riding time) and she has said "I am worried that you are riding a lot' with that level of articulation, it's a little like a knife to the heart. But I am a SAHM, being gone that much is NOT detrimental to her and is good for me. But it doesn't help my guilt.