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Feeling sad about dwindling supply and weaning

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 

I just need to vent to some people that might understand, because I have nobody to talk to about this. 

 

I have had a wonderful breastfeeding relationship with my almost 16 mo old DD, and I am sad that it seems to be coming to an end. I am just over 5 weeks pregnant, and despite the fact that I am eating and drinking a TON, and despite having her at the breast a LOT, my supply is tanking.  My breasts feel deflated all the time, and there are some nursing sessions that I can tell she is only getting a few drops here and there.  Even though I was expecting this, I didn't think we would have to wean so soon (I was hoping to nurse her throughout the pregnancy and possibly even tandem nurse).  I am finding myself really sad and depressed about it.  Last night she wouldn't fall asleep because she was hungry.  She is so used to filling her belly up with milk before bed, and I don't think she was able to get much of anything out of me.  I kept offering her whole milk (bottles, cups), but she kept asking for 'boob' -- it just broke my heart because the only thing I wanted to do was let her nurse until she was drunk and dreamy, but I physically couldn't.  

 

While I am so thankful to be pregnant with another baby, it is hard to be letting go of my current baby.......hopefully that makes sense.  I hate that it feels forced (for both of us) to wean before we feel ready.  Or maybe I would never feel ready, I don't know.  I don't regret getting pregnant, I just wasn't expecting to feel so sad about weaning.  But now that it is happening, I am feeling all sorts of emotions that I can't even get a handle on.......when I picture where our family is headed with another child, I am thrilled and excited one minute, and sad and depressed about what we are leaving behind the next minute (I am not just referring to the breastfeeding relationship, either).  I know it will all be worth it, I just feel so sad that my baby can't be a baby for just a little longer.   And part of me feels so anxious about the next baby, worried that BFing won't be as easy, or he/she won't like to nurse as much, or something will go wrong.  I am just hoping that the next breastfeeding relationship will be just as wonderful, and maybe my DD will even remember how to nurse when the baby comes.  For now I will keep offering her the breast for comfort, but I don't know how long she will be interested.  It is extra stressful for me because she is choosing to starve herself and "hold off" for breast milk, even though I can't come through with enough supply.  So now she is sleeping poorly from being chronically hungry, but still refusing whole milk (or any other beverage besides juice, for that matter).  My husband thinks I should cut her off from the breast completely so she knows there is no other choice, but I don't have the heart to do that.  

 

I am sorry for all the rambling.  

 

Even if nobody else can relate, thank you for letting me vent here!

 

 

 

post #2 of 5

((hugs)) to you, mama. It's a hard place to be in!! I'm so glad you have *somewhere* to share this! (none of my IRL friends would 'get' it either!)

 

Personally, I wouldn't cut her off completely. I wouldn't have the heart to do that. Nursing really IS such an amazing, special bond and it goes FAR beyond just food content! This is a hard process for HER too and I think cutting her off completely would be a worse hurt. But I can't tell you the right answer for your exact, unique situation. ((hugs)) to you AND your dd!

 

...

 

(And, this isn't the best story and it involves loss... so if that's not what you -- "you" being whoever reads this thread! -- don't want to hear about, quit reading now! ... I was still nursing my youngest, who happened to be 16 months at the time, when I became pregnant last summer... I worried about nursing/pregnancy or how it would affect my milk for dd4 and I think she noticed and nursed a lot more.. to the point I almost wanted to cut her off because I was feeling *soooo* touched out!! ... But, I kept on nursing her. And then I lost that pregnancy. I will say that one of the things that helped me through it was nursing dd4. And I was *soooo* thankful to still have that special bond with her. It would have hurt me so much more to have cut her off and THEN have it be for nothing.)

post #3 of 5
Thread Starter 

Thank you for your reply, and I totally agree with you.   We will continue nursing until she decides to stop!  

 

I also have definitely had those thoughts........if I lost this baby (and with a history of m/c, I know you can't count on anything!), I would be depressed about weaning DD for nothing.  Another reason to keep going!  We'll make it work somehow, even if she can only dry nurse at some point.  

post #4 of 5

hug2.gif I totally get being sad at changing your nursing relationship. DD is 2 1/2 and physically I can barely stand for her to nurse, but at the same time I hate taking that away from her. I'm hoping to find a way to wean gently and develop other special connections between us, even if it is my idea and not hers.

post #5 of 5

I completely understand how you feel. My daughter is only 8 months old, and I just found out I'm pregnant again (not planned). I noticed my supply had went down some in the last couple weeks, but didn't know what it was from until yesterday. I planned on nursing my daughter Adelaide until she was around a year and a half, so I'm going to do what I can to try and keep my supply up. I had some supply issues when she was 3 months old, and I started taking Motherlove More Milk Two, and drinking Milkmaid Tea. This got my supply back up pretty quickly. The More Milk Two is actually supposed to be for pregnant nursing mom's, so I plan on trying this again and hopefully it works! Good luck to you and your little one mama, and congratulations on your new baby!

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