Lots of defiance and attitude from 6-year-old with Aspergers. Puberty/hormones?

[DiscoveringMe]

My daughter is six, getting close to seven, and has Aspergers. For the past few months she's been getting more sassy and defiant, and now it's several times a day at home and at school. At school she is losing recesses and having to sit in the "cooling off" chair. At first her teachers thought she might be getting her attitude by emulating classmates, but it's getting really hard to deal with at home and school. She's a very big kid (height and weight of a 10-year-old) so when she shouts "No!" and throws herself on the ground, we can't budge her. She's too heavy. When this happens out in public, we've tried just walking away, but she has NO concern about being left and will carry on with her tantrum whether we're there or not.

To complicate matters, we've noticed that she has started getting pubic hair. We had her tested for precocious puberty last summer because she had really bad B.O. even right after a bath. The tests were normal. The B.O. is now gone, but now there is hair. I'm wondering if some of the defiance and attitude is hormonal? Or just a six-year-old thing? We have a 6-year-old son too, and haven't seen anything like this with him. 

Thoughts? I know she needs another check up soon, so we'll get the doctor's advice then. I'm just curious if anything similar has come up with other girls with Aspergers. Or even other young girls starting puberty? I don't think I was like this when I started puberty, but I was MUCH older too.

Thanks much!

[Linda on the move]

It sounds like something physical is going on with her, and I would talk to the her doctor. It's not normal for a child that age to have public hair.

Sensory issues are the very biggest issue for my DD (who's dx is also Aspergers) and I wondering how those are being addressed for your DD. My DD doesn't really do "defiant" unless she is freaked out on a sensory level.

What are her accommodations like at school? What therapies is she in? What sorts of things do you do for fun as a family?

Keeping my DD on an even keel has required that everything is planned around what works for her -- outings, vacations, everything.

[mamarhu]

Totally aside from girl or puberty related things, but age seven was in many ways the hardest year for YoungSon with ASD. School expectations were increasing, awareness of his "difference" was becoming reality for him, and peers were getting less accepting.

On a different note, BigGirl began puberty that early (started menstruating at 8). I can only imagine if all this had been combined in one child! No advice, but I wish you the best.

[FarmerBeth]

How's your DD's school at transitioning her from task to task?  Besides sensory issues, sudden switches in routine always set off my ASD son at that age, and I see this a lot with kids I work with.  If she isn't sure of what's happening next, why a plan changed, what the new idea is about, etc, it can really up the anxiety and make her seem "defiant".  A simple example from when my son was that age was the teacher planning a special movie one day and changing which one due to technical difficulty.  For a boy with ASD, I have a generally really quiet, gentle and non-aggressive son.  The few times he's ever reacted in a way that the school or and activity had to call because he got loud and agitated were all when there was a change (seating plan, which class or subject scheduled, etc).  Teachers don't always realize they've introduced a sudden change unless they are really in tune with what it looks like for an ASD kid.  Yesterday I subbed as a TA with a 7yo with Aspergers who lost his homework bag.  The teacher couldn't substitute it with a new one to put his homework in because it didn't "look right", and the poor little guy was in an absolute teary panic, running in circles.  Fortunately, the teacher was really in tune with understanding his need for things to be the same.

About the puberty:  I'd still get her checked out again seeing as it seems sudden to have pubic hair when early puberty testing showed nothing last year.  That being said, both DH's and my family have earlier puberty as the norm (from about ages 8 to 11).  My daughter turned 10 at the start of the month and started "spotting" for a week for the two months previously.  Their first cousin on DH's side is on the spectrum and started menstruating at 11 if I remember right from SIL.  I don't recall anyone being affected by puberty quite like your daughter.  Just lots of crankiness.  Everyone's bodies are different.  You just might need to cover all your bases, medical and educational and at home, to sort it out.  It just might not be that simple, it's a tricky balance.

[DiscoveringMe]

Thank you for your input. We're really good about transitions (giving her a heads-up about what is coming, etc) and she has historically been pretty easy going. I think the defiance and attitude stems more from simply not getting her way or what she wants. She does have sensory issues, but is very good at taking care of herself in that respect. She goes to her room when the family room gets too loud, gets out playdoh when she needs that sensory input, asks for Tylenol or an ice pack when her head hurts. We're in very close contact with her teachers and they are amazing. Very knowledgeable about Aspergers, her needs, and her way of thinking/learning. It's sad, but still reassuring to hear that other kids do start puberty at an early age. Still waiting to see her doctor...

[FarmerBeth]

Hope you get some answers from the doctor. to you and your daughter.