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Those of you who don't use anatomically correct terms with your children - Page 2

post #21 of 46

When we aren't being specific, we just use "genitals" to describe the whole package, male or female. Mislabeling for the sake of simplicity or avoiding unpleasant words just seems like it would leave too much room for confusion and potentially shame and embarrassment, imo. DS won't have any real use for proper names of female genitals for a very long time, however, I don't want DD getting the impression that there is something so embarrassing or shameful about her genitals that he shouldn't even know their real names. "Genitals" is accurate without getting more specific than needed. 

post #22 of 46
We use anatomically correct words.
Just wondering, do those of you that use anatomically correct words say urinate and bowel movement instead of pee and poop or whatever else?
post #23 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirliknew View Post

We use anatomically correct words.
Just wondering, do those of you that use anatomically correct words say urinate and bowel movement instead of pee and poop or whatever else?


I use both. DD knows the correct terms for her bodily functions, and uses them when we're being technical or speaking to the doctor, but uses pee or poop usually.

post #24 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by swd12422 View Post

 DS is adamant that his whole deal is his penis (vs. foreskin and penis -- or is it foreskin and glans and the whole thing is a penis? I don't even know -- everyone else is circed and it's always only been "penis"....)


The glans is the top, helmet-shaped bit under the foreskin (if you're uncirced), the foreskin is the skin over the glans, the shaft is the long part between the glans and the abdominal wall (this is the part that fills with blood to produce an erection) and "penis" is the collective term for all those parts thumb.gif

 

post #25 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirliknew View Post

We use anatomically correct words.
Just wondering, do those of you that use anatomically correct words say urinate and bowel movement instead of pee and poop or whatever else?


Still haven't got this multi-quote thing figured out. We say "wee" and "poo" with our LO and that is what she says at the moment. But, she also hears us say urinate, bowels open, faeces etc so I imagine, as she gets older, those more formal terms will be incorporated in some settings. Maybe when she's at the doctor, as a PP said.

 

I guess I feel more comfortable using casual terms for bodily waste than body parts because I feel they are less ambiguous. I don't know anyone who wouldn't understand what wee or poo meant, they are in *very* common usage where we live, but casual terms for body parts seem to be more individual and may not be so easily recognised.

post #26 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by katelove View Post


The glans is the top, helmet-shaped bit under the foreskin (if you're uncirced), the foreskin is the skin over the glans, the shaft is the long part between the glans and the abdominal wall (this is the part that fills with blood to produce an erection) and "penis" is the collective term for all those parts thumb.gif

 



I stand corrected. I feel really silly that I didn't know that, but of course being correct isn't exactly my top priority.... So DS knows more about it than I do. Which is the way it should be! ;-)

 

(Honestly, every time something like this comes up, I flash back to the Seinfeld episode where Elaine is all confused and says, "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.")

post #27 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirliknew View Post

We use anatomically correct words.
Just wondering, do those of you that use anatomically correct words say urinate and bowel movement instead of pee and poop or whatever else?


We use penis and vulva (which I hate the sound of, just do not like that letter combo) and I say pee and poop.

post #28 of 46

When I'm in a position (e.g., in public) where I don't want to use the anatomically correct terms, I use "private parts" and "bottom". But, really, they need to know the correct bodily terms. OP, mommy has a "vulva" and men have a "penis". It's actually easier to name these parts when they're young like this, than it is to introduce the anatomically correct terms as they near puberty. Right now, ds is 10. The fastest way for me to get him to do anything right now is to threaten to read a book on puberty with him! Thankfully, he knows the basics of reproduction. I'm going to have to sic dh on him about bodily changes (hormones, body hair, night time ejaculation, etc.) The window of opportunity for teaching the correct terms closes far earlier than you might think!

 

post #29 of 46

I use penis, balls and yoni. A bit incongruous, but it has come from a natural evolution of terminology in our family and it works for us. Of course, my boys use all kinds of words for male parts, and I just kind of roll my eyes. There's just no fighting that majority.

post #30 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

I think we're missing some voices on this issue.  While it's cute to make up names for body parts it does nothing to actually teach your kids correct terms.  I'm not embarrassed by the body or the use of the correct terms.  A vulva is a vulva, penis is a penis.  Generally there is no need for my kid to discuss her vagina at this point.  Though I did babysit a kid once that shoved a barbie leg in her vagina... why?  Because she found a hole and wanted to know how deep it went.  She called it a pocket.  Her parents freaked out and took her in to find out if she'd been molested... Uh maybe by her self... she shoved a barbie leg in her "pocket".  Which I later found out was what her mom called it.  Good one mom!


nod.gif
I keep coming back to this thread looking for the vulva/vagina conversation


And can I just say (this is how awful I am) that since DH and I re-watched Borat a few weeks ago, I have had to literally stop myself from saying "vagine" over 20 times. And we say vulva at our house smile.gif

My mom used to call the whole area down there (a vulva) "goodies"- it still makes me cringe to this day. I also know lots of people who used the term "cookie." DD refers to her own area as her "peepee", and the few times I have told her that it is her vulva she looks at me and says, "No, peepee" very matter of factly.
post #31 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Buzzer Beater View Post



That's not a bad idea. DD1 was home from college over break and had a cow when I used the word "vulva" with dd2 who is 20 months. She said it's a gross word and nobody uses it. She said she calls her "stuff" her vagina, no matter if it's on the inside or outside and she's sticking to it. Even though she knows it's wrong!

 


I'm with her.  I don't care for the words labia or vulva.

 

My friends and I went to a sex shop, and my nursing school friend kept holding things up and saying words like "Labia Majora" , "glans" and "Vulva", I thought we were going to be thrown out and banned from the store.   I threatened to leave her there if she didn't start using dirty words.

 

post #32 of 46

Wait... you were in a sex shop... and she was using correct terms... and did you want her to start using dirty words or did you think she was using dirty... correct terms in a sex shop won't get you kicked out.  Oh this is funny... so again you were in a sex shop... surrounded by sex toys?  And you were offended by words?  Very interesting.  
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by nextcommercial View Post


I'm with her.  I don't care for the words labia or vulva.

 

My friends and I went to a sex shop, and my nursing school friend kept holding things up and saying words like "Labia Majora" , "glans" and "Vulva", I thought we were going to be thrown out and banned from the store.   I threatened to leave her there if she didn't start using dirty words.

 



 

post #33 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by Imakcerka View Post

Wait... you were in a sex shop... and she was using correct terms... and did you want her to start using dirty words or did you think she was using dirty... correct terms in a sex shop won't get you kicked out.  Oh this is funny... so again you were in a sex shop... surrounded by sex toys?  And you were offended by words?  Very interesting.  

from what i understand from her post - that in the sex shops its ok to use trashy terms, but not the anatomically correct ones. 

 

and to the few i have been to, its mostly been silence there. groups whisper not yell out loud. 
 

 

post #34 of 46

DS is only 17 months old. 

 

He calls his penis a "pee pee" and decided on this term himself (because we EC and when he pees we would tell him he went pee.) We don't correct him.  We co-bath and he also calls my vulvaa "pee pee".  (honestly, I don't know what I call it. I'm fine with "penis" but I really dislike vulva, and prefer vagina but it isn't really correct, is it?) We call urine and feces "pee" and "poop" (honestly, I feel like these are "proper" terms, at leat proper enough for me!).  Growing up, my mom called the vaginal area a "birdie" or "bird".

 

post #35 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by nstewart View Post

 

  (honestly, I don't know what I call it. I'm fine with "penis" but I really dislike vulva, and prefer vagina but it isn't really correct, is it?)

 



This is why I prefer yoni most of all possibilities.

post #36 of 46

Ha ha ha  :D  I remember one day when DS1 was a baby (now 7)  my mom overheard me talking to him about his penis while I was changing him.  I was trying to get myself to the point where I could say it in a serious way, LOL....then I looked at my mom and said "Well, I have a son, it's what it is, and what if I have to talk to his doctor about it sometime?"  LOL  (I now have a daughter as well and 2 more little boys.  I actually have had to have discussions with doctors about penises and vaginas and have managed to do so with a straight face.  However, I've been through the embarassing sex-ed in school and have birthed 4 children, and I STILL don't think I know exactly the proper words for all the parts of my anatomy.  Next on my list of things to do lol)

 

We've also used the word "private parts" for both, simply because they've heard it from other kids, and I have used it as in "Your penis/vagina are private parts.  That means nobody should touch them."  DD had a narrow urethra treated at age 3, and around that time and a few times after, I've specifically told her nobody should touch her there, even the doctor should not touch her there unless Mommy is also present. 

That's one discussion I've had more with her than with my boys, though I'm sure I've told my oldest one nobody should look at or touch his penis....

post #37 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by jess in hawaii View Post



This is why I prefer yoni most of all possibilities.



Yoni gives me the heebie jeebies. It sounds like some sort of new age musician.

post #38 of 46
Quote:
Originally Posted by LynnS6 View Post



Yoni gives me the heebie jeebies. It sounds like some sort of new age musician.



LOL. I think I felt that way at one time, like it's too contrived and NewAgey, but then I got into Tantra and the sacred aspects of sexuality and our bodies. I like the word because it is non-specific and i think it's more discreet for mixed company/non medical usage. Plus, it is, well, sacred.

post #39 of 46

I have a nose, and an armpit.  OOOPs, don't want to forget my elbows... and that pesky inappropriate VULVA!!!twins.gif

post #40 of 46

I get the idea of using "correct" terminology, but I just don't like how it feels. Like one time, I was talking to a neighbor; his wife was out of town for a couple days, and I didn't remember exactly why, so I asked, right? Big mistake. He told me she was at a workshop to teach people how to teach sex ed to adolescents at UU church. He proceeded to go on a tangent about how people needed to know and use the right word for the right thing and then went on to use every single word and description in graphic detail. ICKY. It really disgusted me that this guy would go out of his way to make a point about "correct terminology", like it was so PC, when in fact it was just gross. I never spoke to him alone after that. And it just cemented my stance that the words we use are perfectly sufficient. lol

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