Those of you who don't use anatomically correct terms with your children - Page 3

[captain optimism]

Context is everything. The reason it made you uncomfortable to hear this from  your neighbor is that he's male, you didn't ask him, and a discussion of sex was inappropriate. This wasn't a discussion of sex, exactly--he probably felt like it was OK to talk about this stuff because he was talking about sexual education rather than sex. I think he was wrong, since you were uncomfortable (and probably squirming) and hadn't said, "Tell me all about your philosophy of openness about teaching about the human body, please. Spare nothing, for I have all day. In fact, get the charts." 

I don't think the words we use are sufficient if we don't know the parts of our own bodies. Men complain that women's bodies are mysterious, and women themselves often do not know where the clitoris is. That's kind of major! (Since our context is a discussion of whether to talk about parts by name, I think politeness permits me. You may shield your eyes if you so choose.) 

In essence, I think your neighbor was right that people need to know this stuff. By the same token, it's valuable to know the names and purposes of our internal organs, but it's not polite to stand around discussing how our pancreas and Islets of Langerhans, or even bowels or lungs, are functioning with a neighbor who hasn't asked. It's true that genital organs include both internal and external parts, but we as a society learn not to discuss them in detail while standing on street corners, unless we are flouting rules of politeness.

Originally Posted by jess in hawaii 

I get the idea of using "correct" terminology, but I just don't like how it feels. Like one time, I was talking to a neighbor; his wife was out of town for a couple days, and I didn't remember exactly why, so I asked, right? Big mistake. He told me she was at a workshop to teach people how to teach sex ed to adolescents at UU church. He proceeded to go on a tangent about how people needed to know and use the right word for the right thing and then went on to use every single word and description in graphic detail. ICKY. It really disgusted me that this guy would go out of his way to make a point about "correct terminology", like it was so PC, when in fact it was just gross. I never spoke to him alone after that. And it just cemented my stance that the words we use are perfectly sufficient. lol

[captain optimism]

What I mean to say is, I don't want my child using either anatomically correct terms or euphemisms, whether polite or impolite ones, in the wrong social setting. Just as it is my job to ensure that he knows adult terms for basic human anatomy, it is also my job that he knows when it's acceptable to wield those words. 

All children pass through a phase when they want to know whether strangers and friends have "a penis or a bagina." It is not merely our job to teach them that the "bagina" has several parts and that a penis comes with a scrotum and testicles, but when to talk about all of that. 

[BroodyWoodsgal]

My DD knows the correct terms...but I KNOW she knows them, so I don't really care what she calls her "over all" private space. She tends to call the "whole shebang" her 'gina. Pronounced the same as in "Vagina", just missing the "va" part. It's actually really sweet.

But she is also sensitive in that region and sometimes has irritation. When she does, she doesn't require any prompting to use the correct terms.

Now, when people on TV shows and in public refer to their private lady space as "va-jay jay" all embarrassed or whatever, like saying vulva/vagina/labia is "nasty" or whatever...THAT gets under my skin big time! GOD do I hate that. But a little girl who knows the correct terms referring affectionately to her special parts as "my 'gina"....I don't mind that. But again, that's because when she has a need for the specific terms, she'll say "my vulva itches".

There are a lot of "medical" or "correct" terms that I don't really care for. Vagina/vulva/labia....none of these things is accurate for me, in communicating the great blessing and joy and magical awesomeness of my lady parts. So, when I'm in the doctors office with a problem or whatever...I'll use the correct term. But in the privacy of my own home....my "girl" goes by many wild and wonderful names. ;) And so far as I'm concerned, that's a healthy kind of relationship to have with that region.

[KathrynH]

Originally Posted by LynnS6 

Right now, ds is 10. The fastest way for me to get him to do anything right now is to threaten to read a book on puberty with him! Thankfully, he knows the basics of reproduction.

Ha! I'm filing that in the back of my mind to pull out in 9 years!

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by jess in hawaii 

I get the idea of using "correct" terminology, but I just don't like how it feels. Like one time, I was talking to a neighbor; his wife was out of town for a couple days, and I didn't remember exactly why, so I asked, right? Big mistake. He told me she was at a workshop to teach people how to teach sex ed to adolescents at UU church. He proceeded to go on a tangent about how people needed to know and use the right word for the right thing and then went on to use every single word and description in graphic detail. ICKY. It really disgusted me that this guy would go out of his way to make a point about "correct terminology", like it was so PC, when in fact it was just gross. I never spoke to him alone after that. And it just cemented my stance that the words we use are perfectly sufficient. lol

OK, that's just plain weird on your neighbor's part. Who the heck needs to have this discussion with anyone? The contexts where this is appropriate would be very few indeed.

Truth be told, I can't remember the last time I've had to name these parts with my kids. Once they got past the "how boys and girls are different" stage at about 4, it's just never come up in conversation. When I've needed to say something, it's always been fairly general, such as "you  need to keep your private parts covered when we have guests over" or even more general "no, you can't go to the park without any clothes on". Now that they're 7 and 10, I don't even need to say those things anymore. They've developed their own sense of modesty.

[pianojazzgirl]

We use "penis" and "vulva" here, though ds and dd have decided that it should be "penis" and "vulvis", lol.

For the "whole shebang" (love that!) we say "privates", "private parts" or "bits" (that last one was introduced by dh to dd because at first *he* was too squeamish to say vulva.... though now he's gotten over his hang-ups).

Hearing my kids use the correct terms so naturally and without self-consciousness has helped me become more comfortable saying them too.  I don't think I was given any word(s) for my vulva when i was a kid!  Probably we just said "bottom" for everything front and back.