I'm 29, my husband is 34. We've been TTC for 4 years, 3 months.
I've NEVER been to a gynecologist. I have extreme anxiety and severe body/self-esteem issues (I'm very obese), so I have always avoided the first visit. I didn't become really sexually active until I was 25, with my husband, and at that point, the years and years of anxiety had built up and just refused to think I needed to go.
Anyway, this Wednesday is my first ever appointment. I know to expect a pap smear, and uncomfortable conversation... but how do I bring up that the real reason I'm there is to get the conception ball rolling? How do I deal with the thought they're just going to laugh at me b/c of my weight, and thus think I'm not worthy enough to have children? The dr I chose to see was recommended by my best friend, who is also overweight and infertile, and she swears that the dr is fantastic, but that doesn't really help calm my fears. I just read about so much subtle, and often blatant, fat discrimination. I also have so many years of anxiety that's built up revolving around this issue.
Should I even bring up TTC on the first visit, or wait until maybe we can get my menstrual cycles straightened out?
Anyway, the point of this jumbled mess is that I'm basically looking for advice on how to deal with my first ever gyn visit, and advice on dealing with fat discrimination in the TTC process.