3yo needs more sleep

[MujerMamaMismo]

I'm wondering if any of you can offer me some sage advice re my DS who has just turned 3.

Quite simply, he needs more sleep. He has ALWAYS been a tricky sleeper but he finally started sleeping through-ish about 6 months ago when his nap got so impossible that we scrapped it. Scrapping the nap really worked for a while - better sleep at night and his 2 hour bedtime became a 20 minute bedtime which was amazing. By the end of last year though it was evident that he was super tired. I put it down to general end of year exhaustion and embraced the 4 week childcare closure (he goes 2 days a week) as an opportunity to take it easy and get us all refreshed and replenished. But it hasn't worked like that at all.

We are now back to drawn out, infuriating bedtime shenanigans and lots of refusing to go to bed. This, coupled with a kid who always looks tired and is telling us he's tired from about 11 in the morning is baffling. His behaviour by midday is certainly reflective of a kid who is super tired. I've had to stop making afternoon plans with other kids because he usually can't tolerate them and becomes very bossy and hits a lot. We've tried to bring the nap back but it's a no go. Even his car naps are 20 mins tops - even if we're driving for 2 hours.

In total he sleeps between 9 and 11 hours a night. Usually closer to 9. It's not enough. Earlier or later bedtimes don't change things. He's an early riser. A sleep in for him is 6.45. Usually he's up before 6.

Ideally, I'd like to bring the nap back but I'm open to any suggestions. How can I get this kid to sleep more?

[MujerMamaMismo]

I should add that he is still breastfeeding - just once at bed time - but he doesn't need it and if I'm not around he doesn't miss it. Very occasionally he skips it of his own volition too.

[anjsmama]

Wooo Mama. No advice, just empathy. FWIW, I forceably brought back the nap. As in, "DD & Mama are laying down to sleep now. We won't be able to talk or play. You're welcome to hang out if you want, or you can lay down and sleep too." The realization that I'm not staying up to entertain him because he wants to be indignant makes him give into his tiredness and he's typically asleep before I am (if I sleep). He naps from about 11 am - 1230 pm. Bed time comes at 730 pm and by that time he's so so so tired he literally BEGS me to go to bed. He wakes up at 5.  So 9.5 hours at night. Sometimes it's less, he is known for 4 am wake-ups. 530 is a great day, 6 is unthinkable. I have tried keeping him up - sometimes as late as 11 pm , and he still wakes at 5. He won't nap in the car at all. He also gets aggressive and mean and whiny when he's tired. At least he's gotten a lot better from naptime - bedtime since I brought back the nap, but morning wake up til nap time is usually a terror.

I've also tried - A snack in the room so he can eat something if he wakes up hungry, telling him he has to sleep until the sun comes up (yeah right!), for a short time I even let him have his pacifier back for bed time (and it did help, until the novelty wore off). No clue. I'm so tired!

   

[MujerMamaMismo]

Thanks for responding. Typically, the day I posted that, we got him to bed before 7, he happily went to sleep quickly and on his own(!!!!) and slept 'til a bit after 6. It's been 3 nights now - all the same. A HUGE improvement and a much happier boy and household. He's back at childcare today. I'll be interested to see whether he has a nap there - he often does sleep there - and what it will mean for tonight.

Of course, it only occured to me yesterday that the tricky sleep began at exactly the same time that he got serious about toilet training! He's almost there with it now and sleep is much better. Duh.