I love my two, wonderful boys. If I could subtract the issues with ex from the equation, I have fR more positive things to say about single parenting than negative. I love, love, love
the autonomy. The peaceful, clean home. But, there are
the things I didn't think of that pop up and punch me in the gut once
in a while...waking in an empty house on my birthday, not getting enough pics
and movies of my boys that include me...but, tonight my beautiful boys are sleeping soundly after a really great day and I am sitting on my toddler's stool on the kitchen floor crying like a gigantic baby. I got $ for my birthday. I skim by each month. Food is costly, all
Natural, lots of organic, two growing boys....i bought a chest freezer and am picking up 125 pounds of grass fed beef tomorrow. It will last us a very long time. A friend--well-intentioned, yet
not logical--"surprised" me and carried the freezer down a flight of steps
Into the basement for me while I was at work....but, I wanted it in the garage. I sucked it up, thanked her and moved on. Tonight in went down to find a place for it to live and plug
It in since tomorrow it will be filled with meat. There is no safe outlet (just those for the washer and dryer). I tried for an hour to get the thing up the stairs and hurt my back in the process. I can't do it. The 3 people I would go to first are all out of town. And now I am hysterical thinking of all the things I have never done and/or aren't strong enough to do. I hate feeling helpless.
I hate asking people to do the things that ex used to do...and I normally hate
Pity parties, but at the moment I am throwing myself one....
the autonomy. The peaceful, clean home. But, there are
the things I didn't think of that pop up and punch me in the gut once
in a while...waking in an empty house on my birthday, not getting enough pics
and movies of my boys that include me...but, tonight my beautiful boys are sleeping soundly after a really great day and I am sitting on my toddler's stool on the kitchen floor crying like a gigantic baby. I got $ for my birthday. I skim by each month. Food is costly, all
Natural, lots of organic, two growing boys....i bought a chest freezer and am picking up 125 pounds of grass fed beef tomorrow. It will last us a very long time. A friend--well-intentioned, yet
not logical--"surprised" me and carried the freezer down a flight of steps
Into the basement for me while I was at work....but, I wanted it in the garage. I sucked it up, thanked her and moved on. Tonight in went down to find a place for it to live and plug
It in since tomorrow it will be filled with meat. There is no safe outlet (just those for the washer and dryer). I tried for an hour to get the thing up the stairs and hurt my back in the process. I can't do it. The 3 people I would go to first are all out of town. And now I am hysterical thinking of all the things I have never done and/or aren't strong enough to do. I hate feeling helpless.
I hate asking people to do the things that ex used to do...and I normally hate
Pity parties, but at the moment I am throwing myself one....
