Bearing in mind I am in the UK.
Things have gotten rubbish with the ex. I have decided to just file for divorce and get it over with.
He comes over and has bought the girls loadsa stuff (a lot of it is super messy stuff, so he comes over, gives them this stuff, they make a mess and ex says 'this place is a tip' and I'm like, you bought this stuff, sure hes doing it on purpose).
He keeps bringing up the past, hes accusing me of having had an affair for the past year (so not true), stealing his post, accusing me of having 'company', that kinda company, just because I bought a bottle of wine.
Hes been accusing me of just wanting money for the kids so I can spend it on what I want, hes been harassing me about getting this custody agreement thing signed, his own solicitor said that I could get legal advice but the ex expects me to just sign it and give it back. He says I am doing it on purpose, I'm not (will explain situation bit better in a minute).
He wants me to apply for child benefit for just one of the girls and he will get it for the other 2, but I don't know the ramifications of that legally so I want to check that out, again, he says its taking to long (bearing in mind we only split up towards end of December and the papers only came Tuesday last week).
This is the situation I find myself in..........
First, I have 3 girls to look after and I have to get them to school which is knackering.
2) I have loadsa housework to do with zero help, turns out, 3 kids can make a hell of a mess.
3) On Tuesday just gone I found a lump in my breast and have to go get checked for breast cancer, so kinda worried.
4) I have been maybe getting 5 hours sleep a night at most, so totally exhausted.
5) I have hardly any money coming in, its going to take an age for child benefit and tax credits and in the mean time, me and the kids have to live off £137 a FORTNIGHT.
finally, when things are stressful, my guts give up the ghost, no one really knows why, but I am living off 500 cals a day max. Have nausea and vomiting, I am literally retching the whole way to school and back. Have lost over half a stone in the past few weeks and I am now reaching the point where I am getting severe bruising for no good reason. I simply do not feel well.
So, with all that going on, I'm sorry, but life is kinda difficult right now, doing things as fast as I can, but it does take time.
He bombards me with texts saying that I don't give a damn about the kids, I just want the money, I'm a bitch, I'm being cruel to the kids by not signing the agreement yet, blah, blah, blah........... He sees them every other day, so what if the agreement hasn't been signed yet? We have a current agreement that is working out at the moment, all the custody agreement does is formalise it. he keeps telling me that I am obviously going back on what I said about custody, that I only want him to see the kids every other weekend, but if that was the case, why is he seeing them every other day?
I thought once we were apart, this stuff would stop and for a bit it was good but now its driving me nuts.
I have told him to just leave me alone and to stay away from me. He can see the kids, but leave me the hell alone. Just sick of him coming round, accusing me of stuff, assuming the worst about me, yadda, yadda, yadda and then he says (because I reach a point where I get snappy) 'if it was anyone else here you wouldn't treat them like this' and I'm like, 'if anyone else was here they wouldn't be treating me like this and therefore I wouldn't be snappy.
I cannot bear to be in the same room as him anymore.
Then, to top it all off, he says hes done nothing wrong and everythings down to me....... Go take a flying leap!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so frustrated and angry and hurt and everything else.
At the same time I feel awesome, free for the first time in years, its hard with the single parenting bit but I am doing ok. Everyone says 'you look so much better since you split up with him' and I do. I went got a haircut, had I don't that before I was obviously trying to get some guys attention, having an affair whatever. I can shop for as long as I like without being accused of having an affair.
I am talking to my family again, my Dad was in tears, he said 'I've got my daughter back'...... Ex would call me stuff like bitch, slag, slut and cunt in front of family and he was also quite crappy with my family so they didn't want to come round, same with friends. Apparently, if he didn't have a family, I couldn't either and he often said 'had I known you would continue to be in contact with your Dad I never would have married you'.
I can't explain how much better I feel, how much relief I feel now its all over. Turns out everyone who was in my life, docs, health visitor etc etc was concerned about me and the relationship with ex. Shame they waited til now to tell me .
So, yeah, I want a divorce, I know I can get legal aid, I just want to know how long it will take (I would really like the answers to be like, a couple of months or so but I don't think it will actually be that short lolol).