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Weekly Rambling Chat: Jan 15--Jan 21 - Page 2

post #21 of 121

no, it's not intrusive! how do the doulas who are in-training, tho, get experience with births if no one will take them as a doula due to inexperience? i know it would be better to have someone with more experience but i have had a lot of trouble even finding someone to attend our birth--either because of distance (we live in rural college town in between cincinnati and dayton) or they're already booked or they're on-call for nursing training in may, or they don't even respond to emails requesting information/meetings, etc etc--or i don't bother to write to them because they have a combination of the same inexperience of the two we met plus highlighting their xianity as part of their birth philosophy--that's cool but i just find it off-putting and distracting. i have a list of 28 local-ish doulas to search from, and i've contacted almost every single one. i know it isn't ideal to have someone with so few births, but it would still be better than nobody, or someone i was uncomfortable with? i don't know, i have never done this before.

 

& forestmushroom, thank you! yeah, i'm not sure how stable it would be--it is fairly heavy so probably it would be fine. i had just planned on using the bed/floor or whatever is handy & safe (the dresser i have for baby is too high, expedit too low, i'm a giant), but i'm not sure if i actually need a changing pad or not. some say yes, some no...


Edited by persephassa - 1/16/12 at 10:23pm
post #22 of 121

I totally understand where you are coming from. We have some of the same problems in our area (rural etc).

As a doula most of them I have known usually get experience volunteering at hospital or home births for free or a very reduced rate until they get some experience.  They can interview midwives and have them be recommended to couples etc.

 

 

 I was a bit melodramatic (sorry, my bad) when I said I wouldn't hire a doula who had only been to five births let alone a midwife. I would totally give some one a chance to doula at my birth for experience, BUT a midwife with only five births - no way.

 

Midwives usually get their experience by acting as an assistant to a senior midwife. Usually 2 years seems to be the average number in my area.

 

If your midwives you are interviewing with 5 births have an 'assistant' midwife with a good number of births or years experience, than I would feel comfortable with that. Typically it means that the senior midwife is helping the new midwife get birth experience as the "primary" midwife.

I would never hire a midwife who did not have an assistant with her.

 

Again, This is all just my opinion based on my comfort level!

 

Yes, the courses are awesome, but I don't think courses can replace experience. Again, this is all my opinion! Some one else may chime and disagree completely.

 

It is best to choose someone you feel comfortable with, 100% agree.

Quote:
Originally Posted by persephassa View Post

no, it's not intrusive! how do the doulas who are in-training, tho, get experience with births if no one will take them as a doula due to inexperience? i know it would be better to have someone with more experience but i have had a lot of trouble even finding someone to attend our birth--either because of distance (we live in rural college town in between cincinnati and dayton) or they're already booked or they're on-call for nursing training in may, or they don't even respond to emails requesting information/meetings, etc etc--or i don't bother to write to them because they have a combination of the same inexperience of the two we met plus highlighting their xianity as part of their birth philosophy--that's cool but i just find it off-putting and distracting. i have a list of 29 local-ish doulas to search from, and i've contacted almost every single one. i know it isn't ideal to have someone with so few births, but it would still be better than nobody, or someone i was uncomfortable with? i don't know, i have never done this before.

 

& onemoreontheway, thank you! yeah, i'm not sure how stable it would be--it is fairly heavy so probably it would be fine. i had just planned on using the bed/floor or whatever is handy & safe (the dresser i have for baby is too high, expedit too low, i'm a giant), but i'm not sure if i actually need a changing pad or not. some say yes, some no...



 

post #23 of 121

oh, they aren't midwives! just doulas that we are interviewing. i have a certified nurse midwife at my ob practice who i haven't met yet (tomorrow); i am pretty sure she is more experienced, she has been with the practice for years. if i go with the hospital here she is my only option (vs whatever ob is on-call). there aren't many hb-midwives here. homebirth is prohibited in ohio, so it is difficult to even find one. you have to go to  a potluck at someone's house to even find out their names. we might go and try to meet some midwives and think about homebirth but the birthing center might be a better, in-between home/hospital option, plus our insurance would cover it. 

 

it is just the doulas who are inexperienced, but i just want someone who is knowledgeable and that i will be comfortable with, etc. since they will be there for most of the labor and not just at the end like the cnm.

post #24 of 121


OHHHH!

 

I will be starting my reading comp 101 class tomorrow.... ;)

 

Well then forget every thing I said. LOL

I thought it was the midwives who only had 5 births experience. I was seriously sweating for you cause I was wondering what kind of midwives felt comfortable attending births with only five births under their belt.
The only conclusion I could draw was: NOT very good ones.

 

I'm sorry!

Quote:
Originally Posted by persephassa View Post

oh, they aren't midwives! just doulas that we are interviewing. i have a certified nurse midwife at my ob practice who i haven't met yet (tomorrow); i am pretty sure she is more experienced, she has been with the practice for years. if i go with the hospital here she is my only option (vs whatever ob is on-call). there aren't many hb-midwives here. homebirth is prohibited in ohio, so it is difficult to even find one. you have to go to  a potluck at someone's house to even find out their names. we might go and try to meet some midwives and think about homebirth but the birthing center might be a better, in-between home/hospital option, plus our insurance would cover it. 

 

it is just the doulas who are inexperienced, but i just want someone who is knowledgeable and that i will be comfortable with, etc. since they will be there for most of the labor and not just at the end like the cnm.



 

post #25 of 121

Roxi - have you thought about getting some of those wall stickers?  I think that's what we'll do since DH wants a mural and it seems to me that there are just so many ways that could go wrong and then I would feel bad painting over someone's hard work if I didn't like it.  Some of the wall stickers can be pretty reasonably priced if you don't want really elaborate things.  You can get them on Amazon (I put it on my registry) or independant sites.

 

Quote:
Originally Posted by persephassa View Post

 

so just thinking of ways to make the nursery cuter, it feels bland/bare now. we rent and want to move soon so i don't feel like doing much with the room. a bright rug would help, and i'm going to hang my mom's baby quilt from her childhood on the wall, and maybe a yoyo quilt i made in high school. wondering if i ought to put legs on the expedit shelf to raise the height to make it better to use as a changing table--where do you plan on/have you changed your baby? it seems nice to have all the diapers and stuff in one place, so maybe i will get a changing pad and whatever. i'm not going to buy a "changing table" tho. i have about everything i need for cloth diapering except i want an air pot to put warm water in for cloth washcloths...



 

post #26 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by persephassa View Post

 

Name: roxi

Weeks/Days along: 24 weeks, 5 days

Appointments: meeting cnm for prenatal appointment tomorrow... i had an ob but just switched from her. yesterday we went to the city and met with a couple doulas--i like both of them but i need to decide soon which one! my husband isn't helpful, he won't tell me which one he liked better. they're both not fully certified yet; they attended DONA training and have been to about 5 births each--it seemed like some of the more experienced ones are already booked or don't answer their emails or are super xian (went to bible college, pastor's wives), which i don't think i would mesh with well. i don't know! one was younger, and also does things like write plays for local productions and teach yoga, and the other was a bit older and had worked for years as a hospice nurse and also does massage therapy... oh dear.

 

plus, i made an appointment to tour the birthing center in dayton on feb. 19. it is about an hour's drive for us (vs local hospital, 1 mile away) but it seems attractive, so we'll go see about that.

Symptoms: lots of movement! my nose has been bloody, but maybe that's cause of the heat being on--we need a humidifier

Food: cooking new recipes from a book husband got me for xmas, super natural everyday. i made oatcakes (oats, flax seed, walnuts, whole wheat flour, maple syrup, etc), stuffed mushrooms (couscous, harissa, shallots), and lentil soup (lentils, coconut milk, cumin, butter). next: baked oatmeal & wild rice casserole

Exercise: some wii fit but got derailed this weekend

Body changes and other milestones: eh, i feel like things are about the same, my belly is small

Thoughts: we finally went to ikea! now i think we need to go back because i thought of more things, but i already put together the crib and the expedit shelving thing. i don't know how much use the crib will get, but it's nice to have the room start to look like not-my-office and to have a place to organize things and make it look neat. i've been doing lots of laundry and working on a quilt! and looking for a rocker. i finally realized i ought to try searching the antique section of craigslist instead of the general furniture category, and i found two i like for less than $100! if i could drive i would go get one! husband is teaching the next two days and then goes to duke for a conference... i need to go get my licence! aarghg.

 

so just thinking of ways to make the nursery cuter, it feels bland/bare now. we rent and want to move soon so i don't feel like doing much with the room. a bright rug would help, and i'm going to hang my mom's baby quilt from her childhood on the wall, and maybe a yoyo quilt i made in high school. wondering if i ought to put legs on the expedit shelf to raise the height to make it better to use as a changing table--where do you plan on/have you changed your baby? it seems nice to have all the diapers and stuff in one place, so maybe i will get a changing pad and whatever. i'm not going to buy a "changing table" tho. i have about everything i need for cloth diapering except i want an air pot to put warm water in for cloth washcloths...

 

Do you have Pinterest??  There are TONS of ideas there.

 

As for diapering, I'm pretty sure I'm going to put a changing pad on top of the dryer and make that little space our diapering area.  It's inside one of the bathrooms, and separated by one of those accordian doors.  I'll most likely keep everything there anyway, whether the actual changing happens there or not.  It seems natural that that's where I'll end up doing it though.
 

 



Quote:
Originally Posted by MLog View Post

Roxi - have you thought about getting some of those wall stickers?  I think that's what we'll do since DH wants a mural and it seems to me that there are just so many ways that could go wrong and then I would feel bad painting over someone's hard work if I didn't like it.  Some of the wall stickers can be pretty reasonably priced if you don't want really elaborate things.  You can get them on Amazon (I put it on my registry) or independant sites.

 



 


Those are great too!

 

post #27 of 121

Roxi - I would probably choose the doula who does massage therapy.  During labor you may find those particular skills very useful. 

 

As for changing space, whatever works for you.  We had a changing table with DS which I think we used for the first few weeks.  And then never again.  We just changed him on the bed or the couch or the floor.  When they're really little, you probably do want a changing pad between them and a hard surface, and also because it keeps any accidents from getting on the furniture.  At 2 I only use a "changing pad" (i.e. a PF) under his butt if I know it's a big messy poo.  Again, it gets so much easier to just change them wherever you are than carry them into another room to do it.  For me that meant having the changing stuff accessible, whether that's a basket you can carry around from room to room or stations in each room, whatever works. 

 

Name:  Cris

Weeks/Days along: 21 weeks

Appointments: MW this afternoon

Symptoms: been dealing with a little bit of morning nausea.  I think my hypoglycemia is creeping back in.  I had a really good dinner last night, so I should have been okay, but I think between the amount of time I'm up in the night (dealing with DS), and an increased metabolism, I need more fuel than I'm getting.  I may need to go back to a middle-of-the-night snack. 

Food:  Not being terribly picky right now.  No cravings, either.

Exercise:  Other than sticking DS in the stroller to walk down to the taqueria to get lunch for the contractors, nothing.

Body changes and other milestones: I'm definitely expanding in all forward directions.  Saw one set of grandparents this weekend and she commented that I'm much more "forward" than I was with DS, even at 9 months.  And she's definitely right.  With DS I passed as "just" fat at 9 mos, there was nothing particularly "pregnant" looking about me.  But this time I'm definitely shaped more like I'm pg. 

Thoughts:  As few as possible.  I'm just crunching numbers, trying to figure out how to get all the house projects done before baby arrives.  We have the time (4 mos), but not the $$.  The back deck (refinishing, making child-safe) will be done this week, weather allowing, but it is not a cheap set of jobs (they had to fix the back windows too).  All that redwood and cedar adds up fast, lumber is expensive.  I really want to get the new floor into the kitchen, and am hoping we can manage that at least.  That has low labor costs, but again, high material costs.  I'm just sick of digging splinters out of my and DS' feet (DH always wears shoes). 

 

DS starts his therapy today, and his therapist should be here momentarily (as should the contractors), so I should get going.  This is going to be an interesting morning. 

 

post #28 of 121

Roxi - Yeah, finding a doula that melds with you can be a bit tricky. We ended up not using one with our first birth because we couldn't afford the $1000+ most of the experienced ones charged, and the few novices we met with just didn't do it for me, personality-wise. But I would have felt totally comfortable using a novice if we'd met one whose personality meshed with ours...after all, even attending five births would be five more births than I'd ever witnessed or experienced! I did want a doula who'd given birth though, which funnily enough was hard to find in our price range. My husband didn't understand why it was important to me, and maybe it's not a big deal, but I felt like I needed someone who'd been through it. I worried that otherwise I'd get an attitude at some point like, don't tell me to breathe or sway, you don't know what this feels like!

 

I also second the vinyl wall stickers as an inexpensive and easy way to brighten up a nursery/baby's space, especially if you're a renter. We got several on etsy, I made some curtains, and voila! a whole new room for under $60 that didn't require massive amounts of work. I think you don't need a changing table, per se, but just find a space that works really well for your height. I could not have changed baby on the floor in the beginning because I ended up with some stitches and getting up and down was painful, but we just used a changing pad on top of a table we had. Later, we got a dresser from Ikea (Hemnes maybe?) for his stuff, and you can buy a little thing that extends on the top of it to use a changing table. It's useful, I find. Bending over the bed hurts my back.

 

Really though, a waterproof pad is the most helpful thing, wherever you choose to do the changing!

post #29 of 121

Hi everyone! Glad to hear I'm not the only one suffering from colds, heartburn, hormones, etc.

 

I start teaching today and am really wondering how I'm going to get through this semester. My cold had turned into a sinus infection and my heartburn is worse than ever. DH and I fight constantly, and he dismisses every thought and feeling I have because I'm pregnant. Sigh.

 

Tomorrow I have a follow-up level II ultrasound and meeting with the perinatal doctor about the fluid build-up in the baby's kidneys. Hope I get good news tomorrow...

 

As for a changing table, I will chime in to say that we had one with DS, and I'm so glad we did. I never though I'd use it, but my back cannot take leaning over the bed or couch or changing DS on the floor. However, I'm an "old" mama, so that may not be a problem for most orngbiggrin.gif

post #30 of 121

Good luck tomorrow Sandy! I'll be sending good thoughts!

 

I'm 23 weeks and 4 days and my little guy has been using my cervix for a punching bag for the past few weeks! I called the midwives today to make sure that I shouldn't be concerned. They said if I'm not spotting it's not a problem. They did say I could try laying down with feet up when it happens, however it usually happens in the car or at work, when I'm sitting. I've tried kegels and those seem to work a little. This is something I never thought I'd have to deal with.

 

 

 

 

post #31 of 121


I've been having that punching bag (trampoline?) cervix issue too?  I have been trying to gently encourage baby to take advantage of the increased space in my uterus - "move up, baby, it's OK!" - but he's not listening - likes being low down I guess?!  :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post

Good luck tomorrow Sandy! I'll be sending good thoughts!

 

I'm 23 weeks and 4 days and my little guy has been using my cervix for a punching bag for the past few weeks! I called the midwives today to make sure that I shouldn't be concerned. They said if I'm not spotting it's not a problem. They did say I could try laying down with feet up when it happens, however it usually happens in the car or at work, when I'm sitting. I've tried kegels and those seem to work a little. This is something I never thought I'd have to deal with.

 

 

 

 



 

post #32 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post

Good luck tomorrow Sandy! I'll be sending good thoughts!

 

I'm 23 weeks and 4 days and my little guy has been using my cervix for a punching bag for the past few weeks! I called the midwives today to make sure that I shouldn't be concerned. They said if I'm not spotting it's not a problem. They did say I could try laying down with feet up when it happens, however it usually happens in the car or at work, when I'm sitting. I've tried kegels and those seem to work a little. This is something I never thought I'd have to deal with.

 

 

 

 

So are you saying he's kicking downwards or what?  How do you know it's happening in that area?
 

 

post #33 of 121


Not sure what this feels like for Poppyseed but in my case it is like tickling and sometimes even more powerful jabs very low down - like crotch area...

Quote:
Originally Posted by janellody View Post

So are you saying he's kicking downwards or what?  How do you know it's happening in that area?
 

 



 

post #34 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by janellody View Post

So are you saying he's kicking downwards or what?  How do you know it's happening in that area?
 

 



Well, I'm pretty sure he's head down - so that's why I say "punching." And I'll feel these sharp sudden pains in my cervix (and vagina, and bladder) that surge throughout my whole body. They are dandies! I figured out it was my cervix because the pain felt oddly familiar and then I realized it felt like a pap... but from the inside out. OUCH!

post #35 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by rozziemama View Post


Not sure what this feels like for Poppyseed but in my case it is like tickling and sometimes even more powerful jabs very low down - like crotch area...



 


Yep, the general crotch area.. very strange!

 

post #36 of 121
Quote:
Originally Posted by poppyseed2012 View Post



Well, I'm pretty sure he's head down - so that's why I say "punching." And I'll feel these sharp sudden pains in my cervix (and vagina, and bladder) that surge throughout my whole body. They are dandies! I figured out it was my cervix because the pain felt oddly familiar and then I realized it felt like a pap... but from the inside out. OUCH!



I have had some movement that reminded me of a pap, too! lol, how funny!  SOmetimes I feel like he's kicking my bladder, it's weird!

post #37 of 121

Sandy- good luck on your u/s! Hope it's all fabulous news

 

Roxi- doulas are tricky! I'm using a friend as a doula- she's trained and certified but has only attended 2 births. I'm doulaing for her in Feb sometime and she'll be my first EVER. I'm excited and terrified. I would say finding someone who meshes with you and understands your needs is more important than someone experienced, but this is from my very inexperienced viewpoint :) I think if you go into knowing their inexperienced and may need you to really say what you need (if possible) and do LOTS of prenatal appointments so they really get to know you it will be helpful.

 

Poppyseed- I had that all.the.time with my second. I finally figured out what he was doing- using the top of my uterus as a springboard and pushing off HARD with his feet so he could ram his head into my cervix repeatedly- or pushing off and just holding his head there. It really does feel like a pap smear sometimes, just all reversed. It freaked me out a lot at +/- 30 weeks, I kept thinking it was some weird form of preterm labour because it was really really uncomfortable. Even now, though, he's a jumper- he doesn't walk, he leaps. It's funny how different kids are... My first stretched and moved slowly and lazily but stubbornly- if there wasn't room for her she MADE room. My second jumped and shoved and rolled and flailed. This one kicks- definite kicks, I can feel individual feet- and shifts but does everything very definitely, distinctly, and.. a lot. A real wiggler.

 

Me... Exhausted. I went to bed at 8:30 last night. Still taking my iron religiously and if I don't take it I am a zombie, I don't even trust myself to drive, but with it I'm just borderline zombie. My belly feels really huge. I asked for a stool at work yesterday so I don't have to stand so much. Baby is super wiggly and active. Craving chocolate like crazy, I could eat it all day (but I don't- one small piece a day, and that's it!) 

 

I am really anti food these days, I don't want to eat anything and i don't care what anyone else eats. My husband makes dinners these days because I work every evening- they eat predominantly plain pasta. I need more instant type meals that he can make that involve minimal prep work for me. Exercise is super limited. I haven't crafted since Christmas. I can't be bothered to get out and see people and when I do get out I can't figure out anything to say and just sit there feeling awkward. I'm just super, super, super blah. Don't care, don't care, don't care. Is this normal? I keep thinking this is abnormal but when I try to explain it people just say, "ah, you're pregnant and working and have two toddlers, of course you're run down!" Which is now just annoying me. I want someone to say "this is NOT normal- here take some of this magic pill and you'll feel great!"

 

 

post #38 of 121

Grace - LOL - That magic pill will arrive in about 4 years time.

 

I have been sipping on chai roobios (?) tea the last couple days. I put way too much sugar and heavy cream in it and it tastes like heaven. I need to take a trip up to costco cause the only fresh veggies in the house are some mushrooms, carrots and brussell sprouts. I would love a baked potato today.
But, it was super snowy yesterday and cold  today and I do not want to drive 60 miles in this crap.

 

I ordered my beads for the birth bead exchange, and think they are super pretty. Bad thing is it could be 2 weeks until they get here. grr. The local bead shops have all closed down due to this economy. Sad.

 

Classes are going well. Baby is active all the time now. cat.gifYoungest DD insisted I add the kitty smilie. LOL

 

 

post #39 of 121

Jynx, haha I get the twins thing too! One of my 3rd grade students today said “You’re pregnant right?” and I said “Yes!”. He paused a moment and said “How many babies you got in there??”

 

Sarah, I never used to have chin hair but now thanks to lovely pregnancy hormones, I’m plucking as well. Oh the joys of pregnancy. I’m up 2x a night also. I go back and forth between my bed and the guest room bed. Getting comfy is difficult…especially since our 3 year old wants to cuddle super close to me!

 

PlainMama, I am amazed by your calmness. Do keep us updated re: the ultrasound. I’ll be praying for you and your sweet baby girl tomorrow.  And I hope your knee recovers!

 

re: changing tables, I am just going to change baby on the bed or floor w/ a mat or something. Not much room for a changing table and I never really used it when I had one with DS2.

 

Sandy, good luck at the ultrasound!

 

OneMore, I got my beads for the exchange too! They are aweomse – and green, since emerald is the May birth stone

post #40 of 121

Name: Danielle/RozzieMama

Weeks/Days along: 23

Appointments: Next week - glucose, ick.

Symptoms: Round Ligament, and SNORING!!! it's awful. I'm suddenly a snorer. greensad.gif

Food: yes, I eat anything though prefer more simple foods - like no omelettes but plain scrambled eggs... that kind of thing.

Exercise: trying trying - in my head, i do yoga every day thumb.gif

Body changes and other milestones: Big. Big boobs, big belly, just big.

 

Thoughts:  Mantra - Happy Healthy Baby... trying to implement this. Trying not to google. Trying to manage my stress. My epiphany during yoga/meditation (attempt) on Sunday was that it's hard to believe that everything is going to be great for the sad reason that this baby is SO WANTED, I feel nervous because I became pregnant so quickly, feel like how can it be true that with this baby I'm getting exactly what I want (ignore previous posts about gender disappointment, haha) ... so without the femur/soft marker I'd probably be anxious about it all anyway.  Ay yay yay.

 

My big fall on the icy sidewalk last week (scary but ultimately OK!) really put into perspective just how much I want this little one. 

 

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