Hi Waldorf Mums- this is my first post despite following this thread for some time. I am hoping that you would be able to offer me some advice and inspiration. Raising my two little possums (sorry - pick the Aussie) with inspiration from the Waldorf philosophy has been a really important part of my mothering. I have a lovely 4 year old girl called Indigo and a gorgeous little 18month old boy called Kael in addition to two step-sons Billy aged 14 and Marty 22years. Raising the little ones with Waldorf as a step-family has had its own challenges but it has been a rich and beautiful time for me and the older boys have been supportive.
The last fortnight has been one of the most difficult periods in our family life. Marty was in SE Asia on his firts trip overseas when he had a second episode of Bipolar disorder (AKA Manic Depression) and went into psychosis. Things were pretty bad as we found out he was sleeping on the floor of a fairly seedy bar and was basically being supplied with drugs by a gang of men who were using him to sell drugs. Just when we though things couldn't get any worse, he tried to jump off the roof of a hotel but was thankfully restrained by staff and was admitted to hospital when he hit his head. This all started during the New Years holidays over here and so all of Marty's medical team were on leave and we were desperately trying to get my husband over there with appropriate medications. We finally had him medivaced home to Australia on Wednesday for treatment over here. Basically, it has a nightmare and I have been glued to my computer and phone day in and day out trying to coordinate medical teams, finances, ambulances...you name it in order to get our son and my husband home safe.
Now that Marty is home, we are all still fairly shocked and traumatised. Once Marty actually realises what he has done and the impact emotionally and financially on his family, he is going to flip over into major depression. It is going to be a long 12 months...
I am also racked with guilt at the moment and am upset because it seems that my beautiful bond and rhythm I had with my little ones has completely gone out of the window. Indigo spent a week with my parents who have a house full of plastic toys that make noise. She has watched TVs and videos pretty much for the first time (we don't have a TV), eaten all sorts of junk, has a new pink synthetic wardrobe and toys. Plus, she also has a new favorite plastic doll replacing her previous favourite that I made and gave her for Christmas. My little boy who was with me now has no routine, his sleeping is all over the place and he has also watched his first video.
I am so upset and deflated...at myself, my parents and my little ones! Now all they ask me for is lollies and videos and won't eat the food I cook.
Has anyone had any similar experiences of when things have gone wrong??? It would be good to get some advice about where to pick up the pieces...I'm physically and emotionally exhausted and know i need to do a bit of self-love so I have something to give.
My brain is a little all over the place at the moment. I'm not sure where to begin...