End of an era....

[pianojazzgirl]

I don't really have anyone IRL who can understand, but I'm hoping there are some mamas here who do.

Today my ds (my youngest) started "school" (well, really pre-school).  I feel some kind of "empty nest" thing going on or something, lol.  It's weird because my dd was even a bit younger when she started school, but I guess then I had ds (then a baby) at home with me still and so it felt different.  I'm not exactly a SAHM, but all my work is after school (teaching piano lessons to kids) or in the evening (playing gigs) so I am home all day.  But now with no kids!  It feels so weird.  And sad.

Also I'm so scared for ds - how he'll deal with being without us.  Not only has he been at home with me since he was born, but now he's going to school in French and barely speaks a word of it.  Dd did the same thing 3.5 years ago and it was rough at first but she adjusted quickly.  I just don't want ds to have to go through any sadness!  Unrealistic I know!

Anyone else relate to how I'm feeling?

[tropicana]

not yet, but i will next year when my son turns 3 and starts preschool, too...

[Imakcerka]

When DD2 started school I thought DH was going to die.  He was so lonely and hated thinking about her needing things and not having her needs met.  Those two are very close.  I felt really bad for DH.  I was working so it didn't feel as gut wrenching as I expected it to feel.  Though DH walked her to class every day and brushed her hair every morning.  He didn't want to let her go at all.  He even volunteered for her class, not something he'd ever do due to his anxiety!  I just read him your post and he just said it was the worst few months of his life.  SO you're not alone!

[swampangel]

I'm completely with you.  I have a meltdown the other day when that empty nest feeling hit me hard.  My youngest started kindergarten this year so he's been to preschool for two years before this.  But somehow, the long day and the big kid school is just such a huge change for me.  He's doing great but sometimes I just feel that the time is flying by and I grieve my children's babyhood.  

I'm totally feeling ya, mama.

[Youngfrankenstein]

I'm not there yet as dd2 is only 2 but I have felt it towards nursing, birth, and babyhood.  With the other ones I "knew" it wouldn't be the end so it's was fun and exciting.

She nursed the longest and I don't worry one second about sitting with her as she falls asleep.  These were things I was ready to be done sooner with with the other ones.

[pianojazzgirl]

It's so great to be understood!  Thanks mamas!

I just dropped him off for his 2nd day.  He was apprehensive.  :(  Said last night that he didn't want to go, but then dd reminded him that sometimes they have cake at school (when we met the director she said that most days dessert is fruit but occasionally she makes a reduced-sugar cake), and today might be the day.  Then he wanted to go, lol.

This is tough stuff!

None of my friends IRL have kept their kids at home as long as I have, and they don't really see the big deal of a 4yo starting school. 

[Peony]

Awwww. I'm not there yet, because I've just kept having babies. Not having anymore so in another 3 years I'll be joining this club. My oldest 2 are in school, the 3rd starting part time. Somedays I look forward to it, and other days wonder what exactly I will do when I no longer have small children always at home with me. 

[pianojazzgirl]

Ack.. I just dropped him off for day 3 and he was crying and asking to go home with mama.  :(

This is so hard!

I know he'll be ok, but it'll take some time for him to adjust.  I remember those drop-offs with dd and it was so difficult.  I hate doing it!

The main reason we've signed him up for this preschool is so that he can learn French.  In the fall he will start pre-k at dd's school and at that school the students already need to be (relatively) fluent in French.  They pick it up so quickly at this age, but still the first weeks are hard for them.  I can just imagine being dumped into this group of people who are all chatting away and I can't understand a word.  :(

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty sad and bad right now.  If anyone has any virtual hugs to give out I'd gladly accept them!

[Super~Single~Mama]

It'll get better fast! Talk about how fun it is, ask him if he learned anything new, have your dd teach him a few words maybe (so that he can say something to his friends when he gets to school in the morning - might help him feel better).

He'll be OK.  He will adjust, and then you'll be sad that he wants nothing to do with you once you get to school (my ds doesn't even want to come home with me at night!!).

[pianojazzgirl]

Thanks!!!

Today they have someone coming in to give them a music class which I think he will really enjoy.  Hopefully that will make school seem like a better place to him.

[Super~Single~Mama]

Originally Posted by pianojazzgirl 

Thanks!!!

Today they have someone coming in to give them a music class which I think he will really enjoy.  Hopefully that will make school seem like a better place to him.

I'm sure it will, once he gets used to the routine there will be something every day that he is able to look forward, or at least every week. My DS's daycare does a library story time every Thursday, and Show and Share on Fridays - so those are days that he looks forward to every week. Then, other days they do cooking activities, or certain drawing things. It's really all about getting into the routine and getting used to it. If you know about some of their routines (like story time at the library, going to the playground, show and share or whatever) you can remind him the morning of those activities, which might help the drop off those mornings. Also talk to him about his day at dinner time, or whenever you have a moment with him alone. That helps my ds too - he knows that I'm interested in what he does all day, and he LOVES to tell me about it.

[pianojazzgirl]

Well, I was right.  He really enjoyed the music class.  :)  The drop-off was the worst yet, but the pick-up was the best!  He was all smiles and happily said bye to the teacher and kids.  And I found out that this Friday is a special pizza and ice cream day!  So it looks like there is hope yet.

Thanks for the support!  :)

[FelixMom]

Hey, good to see you here, Kate! DS has started school?!? Where did all the time go? (((HUGS))) as you get through this transition. I will be in your situation this August when DS2 starts JK at the same school his older brother and sister go to. What school is DS going to? I didn't know you could start in January.

[pianojazzgirl]

Originally Posted by FelixMom 

Hey, good to see you here, Kate! DS has started school?!? Where did all the time go? (((HUGS))) as you get through this transition. I will be in your situation this August when DS2 starts JK at the same school his older brother and sister go to. What school is DS going to? I didn't know you could start in January.

Hey!  good to see you too!  :D

It's actually not "school" but a garderie that has a pre-school (pre-scholaire) program.  It's great.  He's in a small class with just 4 other kids and they do all kinds of crafts, music class, yoga class, etc.  And they even have a small gym where they do sports and activities every day.  His b-day is Oct 3 so he just missed the cut-off for pre-k this year.  We decided to put him in some sort of pre-school/garderie so he could pick up French to be ready for school in the Fall.  Then he'll go to FACE which is where Djuna is going now.