or Connect
Mothering › Groups › Plus Size Mamas › Discussions › Positive appointment experience... had to share

Positive appointment experience... had to share

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 

So I had to share a really positive experience I had this morning at the midwives' office. First of all, we heard the heartbeat (about 165) and some movements, so that was awesome. I'm 15 weeks today. I think I mentioned in the Introductions thread some of the details about the high-risk consult I had in December, which was a stressful fiasco.

 

Anyway, the appointment itself... I couldn't schedule with the person I had previously been seeing because of a schedule conflict or something (I don't remember exactly), so they just picked another midwife on staff at random. Boy am I glad they did! Her bedside manner was terrific. She talked to me about my high-risk consult and said she had seen the writeup and pulled down the information to review because they made it sound so serious, but everything actually looked very good and she was not concerned, and I should stop worrying so much. 

 

She sort of danced around the subject and spoke of it in a very professional manner, but she told me that for a while the practice at this health system had been to essentially place all overweight women in high-risk care, and I got the strong impression that she did not approve of this approach at all. She was especially disapproving of a note they put in the writeup about scheduled induction at 39 weeks (which I'm glad they apparently failed to mention to me at the appointment, because I would have flipped out). She said the midwifery model of care produces the best outcomes for most women, and that doesn't change just because you're heavy. Their approach would be to keep an eye on my risk factors, and if they became a problem, consult with the high-risk docs (she said this could be done even during labor and delivery if necessary) or, if things became very worrisome, transfer my care, but as of right now I'm a "very average lady" and by no means their highest risk patient. She advised me to get exercise (and told me about a study showing that if you walk after a meal, it helps reduce blood sugar spikes) and eat healthy, avoid simple sugars, etc. but miracle of miracles, managed to make this advice sound benign and positive rather than accusatory. I mean, of course I am doing my best with these things anyway (gym visits still hit or miss but I am getting there more and more often), but it makes an enormous difference how they approach these subjects with you in the appointment. I actually feel inspired to get to the gym rather than feeling like crawling in a hole and crying.

 

As far as actual numbers, I guess my A1C was very good and she didn't seem concerned about my blood pressure (sky-high in the office again this morning, but my logged numbers from home are much lower). She didn't mention my weight gain.

 

I went into this appointment positive that we would end up kicked out of the midwife practice and I wasn't sure what I would do then (because I just didn't think I could handle seeing that high-risk doc again). Instead I now feel excited about this pregnancy again and ready to get back into preparing for birth. I feel so lucky, I just had to share.

 

ETA: Full disclosure, I basically reposted this from the ONE Thread Graduates thread... sorry, I know that is not the best practice but I was excited and wanted to share with everyone. smile.gif

post #2 of 7

That sounds like a GREAT update! 

 

My youngest DD is 1 now, but I really hated going to OB/GYN appointments with her because of the way they dealt with my weight.  I was seeing an OB/GYN while looking for a homebirth midwife in my area, since I'd moved after my last 2 homebirths in another state.  I felt like they didn't so much talk with me, as they talked at me, or more precisely, at my fat, like it was some dangerous animal ready to jump up and devour them.  When I finally found a homebirth midwife, she focused on eating healthy, and getting exercise, for overall good health for me and the baby, not for weight control.

 

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!

post #3 of 7

Awesome! So glad to hear you had a good experience! I've actually had similar experiences with the midwife at the OB/Gyn practice where I had my fertility care (I saw the midwife to be referred to the reproductive doc and again once I got pregnant to have my first ultrasound, etc). She basically said "Hospital births like I do are great if you're high risk... but you're not high risk. So here are your other options for the kind of birth you've said you want..." We talked about other hospital midwifery practices, she gave me the name of a homebirth CNM (unfortunately not in my insurance network), and she said the birth center (where I'm going now) would be perfect for me. If I do risk out of the birth center, I wish I could guarantee she could attend my birth. 

 

Also, yay on hearing the heartbeat! It's so reassuring, isn't it? I'm glad you feel excited! 

post #4 of 7
Thread Starter 

Thanks guys! I guess I didn't realize how anxious the other providers were making me (and my husband, incidentally) until I saw one who was compassionate and reasonable. I really hope I can go through the hospital's birth center, as well. Hopefully my numbers will stay OK.

post #5 of 7

That is so wonderful!!!!!

post #6 of 7

Glad to hear you had such a positive appointment!

post #7 of 7

That's so great! It's amazing how different it feels to see someone who makes you feel confident, normal, healthy, and well... empowered! It's comforting somehow. My old OB (I can't go to a midwife - boo!) that I loved stopped delivering this year and I've been seeing someone else in the practice that I just don't feel as comfortable with. I've decided that I'm just going to have to ask the practice to switch me over to someone else. He's a nice enough guy and has been very helpful, he's just... not the person I want to be there in the delivery room with me, if that makes sense. I just need to feel like I click with the person who will basically be in charge of my baby and my vagina for a few hours. My old OB made a recommendation for another doctor in the practice and I think I'm just going to make the excuse of feeling more comfortable seeing a woman.

  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Plus Size Mamas
Mothering › Groups › Plus Size Mamas › Discussions › Positive appointment experience... had to share