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Feeling frumpy

post #1 of 172
Thread Starter 

What does everyone else do to make themselves feel a little bit better about themselves?  I am feeling really fat, hairy, dry skin, etc.  I want to burn all my sweatpants and t shirts. 

post #2 of 172

I feel exactly the same way. I'll take any advice.

post #3 of 172
I know what you mean. I try to put on a little make-up everyday. That helps. Also, I wear earrings. Sometimes I put J in the mei tai and wear him while I do these things. I have naturally curly hair that is not very manageable, so I prefer to wear it straight. Unfortunately, I don't have the 30 min it takes to do that. When dh is home on the weekends, I fix my hair the way I like it and try to make it last for 3-4 days. Otherwise, I just make do with a curly style that works.

Buying a few cute headbands or scarves can help. Then, when you have your hair in a ponytail again, you can at least add a headband!

Get dressed. Don't wear sweatpants! Even if I'm not going anywhere, I get dressed first thing. J is happy in the morning, so I can usually put him in his bouncer for 10 min and take a quick shower/ get dressed. I'm just wearing a t-shirt and jeans, but it's better than pjs.

Next time the baby takes a nap, paint your toenails.

I'm hairy too, and I prefer to shave. Thank goodness it's winter! I just avoid looking at my legs. smile.gif

Oh, also I find that wearing skirts is more flattering than stuffing myself into jeans. I just put some comfy leggings under the skirt. Still wearing a t-shirt, but who cares!

Anyone have some other tips?
post #4 of 172

I hear you! I could totally use a wardrobe makeover... not to mention a shower. The last few days I have actually missed some aspects of being pregnant. I miss the preggo glow and thick, shiny hair! I had my share of pregnancy discomforts but there were some parts that I really liked. Now I look tired and WINTRY. I don't know exactly how much of my pregnancy weight I've lost (no scale at home), but I actually don't want to lose it all too fast because I think I look better weighing a little more than I did pre-pregs. A rounder face looks younger and more rested.

Anyway, those are my complaints. To perk up from the winter frumps, I suggest taking a relaxing shower, putting on a little makeup (if that's your thing), and somehow purchasing pants that fit properly (ditch the sweats for a few hours). My mom gave me 2 pairs of these expensive jeans that no longer fit her but amazingly fit me perfectly. She is way more into spending $$ on clothes than I am, so I lucked out. They are called "Yoga Jeans" and the key is that they have some stretch in them.

I just joined this forum and wish that I had found it earlier! Really enjoying hearing from others with babies the same age.

post #5 of 172

I second painting your toenails... that is a good pick-me up. I did that a few days before my daughter was born (although it was almost impossible to see around my stomach) and enjoyed having pink toenails while in labor.

post #6 of 172

I agree with Amanda.  I make a point to have nice clothes that fit me at every size (as I shrink back to my pp size).  I started a collection of 'fat clothes' when I had my DD1 and held on to them because I knew we were having more kids.  I also have collected a few new(used) things from yard sales and the Goodwill outlet (which is very cheap).  I feel so much better if I have good clothes to put on in the morning.  That, and I like to work out (just walking at this point) so that I know I'm on my way to being healthy and in shape again.

post #7 of 172
Okay, I have more. Ha! This is a big deal for me because I can start to get depressed if I feel like I look awful. It's just one of my things. Plus, I'm coming from working full time where I took a lot of time with my appearance. So staying at home is a big appearance change, if that makes sense. So, more little things I do:

-Get new body wash and lotion
-Use tinted facial moisturizer and tinted lip balm
-Rub foot lotion on and put on cozy socks
-Use a mud mask after the baby goes to bed
-Wear a cute pair of flats or boots instead of tennis shoes
-Wear cute underwear
-Take a bath with the baby if I can't manage it any other way
-Make a scrub out of olive oil, sugar, and lemon and keep it by the sink. Makes your hands smooth and soft!
-Keep lotion around the house and put it on when you get the chance.


Okay, I think I'm done now.... smile.gif
post #8 of 172
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by vanni View Post

I second painting your toenails... that is a good pick-me up. I did that a few days before my daughter was born (although it was almost impossible to see around my stomach) and enjoyed having pink toenails while in labor.

Welcome Vanni!  I got a pedicure the day I went into labor and two months later I still have remnants of polish on my nails.  I need to take care of that!  I changed my earrings yesterday for the first time in months and it did help a little.  I'm still to fat for my fat jeans so I guess I have to go shopping.  Yoga jeans, huh?  I'll have to check those out!

 

 

post #9 of 172
Thread Starter 


AAAAHHHHHHH!
Thanks for the suggestions!  It's almost like I've forgetten about taking care of ME!  dizzy.gif

Quote:
Originally Posted by TalkToMeNow View Post

Okay, I have more. Ha! This is a big deal for me because I can start to get depressed if I feel like I look awful. It's just one of my things. Plus, I'm coming from working full time where I took a lot of time with my appearance. So staying at home is a big appearance change, if that makes sense. So, more little things I do:
-Get new body wash and lotion
-Use tinted facial moisturizer and tinted lip balm
-Rub foot lotion on and put on cozy socks
-Use a mud mask after the baby goes to bed
-Wear a cute pair of flats or boots instead of tennis shoes
-Wear cute underwear
-Take a bath with the baby if I can't manage it any other way
-Make a scrub out of olive oil, sugar, and lemon and keep it by the sink. Makes your hands smooth and soft!
-Keep lotion around the house and put it on when you get the chance.
Okay, I think I'm done now.... smile.gif


 

post #10 of 172

Amanda- great advice!  I also brush teeth/hair and put on a bit of makeup or at least splash my face with water first thing in the AM.  I take a shower as soon as I can and though I usually put yoga pants back on, I try to pick out a nice cardigan or zip-up shirt to wear over my nursing tank.  Some days I wear a nursing bra instead- then I really feel sexy, LOL, because I can wear a vneck shirt or something.  

Also, I went through ALL of the clothes and got rid of HALF of them.  Seriously.  Things I had been hanging on to that just weren't my style, and things that didn't make me feel sexy (didn't fit right, etc) all got put in the DONATE pile.  Now when I look at my (half empty) closet I think "wow, I have cute clothes!" instead of thinking "Nope can't wear this, or this, or this, or that, or this, or that".  Once the stuff you don't wear is gone and you're left with things you love it really is more fun to get dressed :-)  I also received a generous gift card to H&M for Xmas from my MIL so I am going to go buy a few new items.  I'm so excited!  


 

post #11 of 172

J - You made a great point. I've been needing to go through my closet for a long time and get rid of at least half of the clothes in there! I'm the type of person who hangs onto old dingy clothes to just lounge in around the house or wear while working out. But then I accumulate way too much of them and it has become my daily wardrobe while being home every day with the baby! I'm not even close to fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes, so I don't even have a single pair of jeans that fits me. greensad.gif I live in sweats. It makes me feel so gross, but I also don't want to spend a ton of money we don't have on transition clothes. I'm looking forward to using a few gift cards I was given at Christmastime to buy some new jeans! ---If I can get out to shop one of these days.

post #12 of 172

I'm going shopping today!  Dh is going to sling Dylan and corral Owen, and I am going to shop til I drop :-)

Swapping clothing with friends or perusing resale/consignment boutiques is a cheaper way to pad your closet as well!   

post #13 of 172

I totally second having clothes that fit in every size as I work on shrinking back to pre-preg size. Clothes that don't fit are the worst for me. I keep it simple and don't wear makeup or anything, so clothes fitting is essential. I've been dying to get rid of a bunch of clothes but can't let go of the "I might wear that" feeling when I will likely go through a couple of sizes in the next year so if it doesn't fit now how do I know it won't fit better later (or be my style after nursing?)? You are inspiring me to at least get rid of a few things now though! And to get in a shower today :)

post #14 of 172

I also don't wear make-up or use toiletries with chemicals/fragrances (I make our soap and I do no poo and ACV rinses) so clothes are the big thing for me. Luckily I'm not that into jeans (except for going out, sometimes) because I don't find them that comfortable (I'm a bigger gal), and I actually really like the whole 'boho hippie' yoga clothes look - always have! BUT I hate 'sweatpants' and t-shirts. I buy things that have shape, great colors, patterns, nice necklines, etc. I don't own pajamas at all, actually - I just sleep in some cotton shorts and a tank top - so there's no worry for me to get stuck wearing some sweatpants and an old t-shirt.

 

For example, this is what I wear (I made this set on Polyvore):

 

183029172325862602_6I2IWJio_c.jpg

 

Cute cropped yoga pants with a fun shape and a nice waist. A pretty floral shirt and a comfortable sweater. Flats and a cute purse. A scarf! Love scarves.

 

Obviously I wouldn't wear white pants if I had maybe a toddler and was doing messy crafts or something! ;) Or if it was snowing! But, yesterday we went out I wore a Prana wrap skirt, leggings under, a tank and a cowl neck jersery knit long sleeve top and a sherpa lined hooded vest. With snow boots. Was VERY cute and warm! :)

 183029172325799398_fYMnk6sj_c.jpg183029172325862623_FAMhiNqz_c.jpg183029172325862623_FAMhiNqz_c.jpg

I always make sure stuff is wash and wear - no dry clean, no 'hand wash lay flat to dry'. So I get lots of cotton, jersey knit, etc. But I have several items in my wardrobe that are pretty similar to what I just posted and I wear them all the time! I don't think that comfortable and wearable has to be frumpy. thumb.gif

 

Places like Target and Old Navy have tons of great options for easy care/easy wear cotton clothes that are fashionable and cute (without breaking the bank!).

 

Anyway... that's my advice. However I know not everyone likes that whole look, so that won't work for everyone! wink1.gif

post #15 of 172

ACCESSORIZE.  Sometimes just adding a necklace/earrings/headband/scarf makes all the difference.

 

I'm struggling with this, too.  My body is SO different now.  I did lots of modeling pre-pregnancy (not professionally; I have a lot of designer/photographer friends who would always use me as a model), always felt pretty great about my body and how I looked when I took just a few minutes to put myself together.  I'm having a hard time getting used to this post-partum leakiness/floppiness.  I gotta just accept this extra 20 pounds that seems to just want to linger, and own my new look!

post #16 of 172

*Shower regularly (I get one in every other day) or at the very least wipe down with a wash cloth to get rid of the sour milk and spit up smell

*Brush your hair

*Shave or go all out and get a wax

*Pluck your eyebrows (if you do that sort of thing)

*Nail polish

*1 or 2 new pieces of clothing that fit well and can be worn with a variety of things

*Get dressed first thing in the morning

*Dye your hair with henna

*Get a hair cut, but do NOT fall victim to getting the cropped "mom" haircut

*Exercise or at least get out of the house for some fresh air

*Get new lotion, cream, or oil and get dh to give you a massage (and maybe dtd)

*Get new underwear (maybe suggest this for V-day?)

 

I try my hardest to prioritize activities for when the kids go down for naps.  So as SOON as the baby is asleep or the boys are both down for naps I know exactly what I'm going to do and do it in order of importance to me.  It usually involves one or two quick chores and one thing for me.  I tell myself if I can accomplish my short list then I will feel good even if the baby wakes 10 minutes later.

post #17 of 172

Yup, my friends and I have traded our pp clothes.  It gives us more wardrobe for those few transition months.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by jbk21 View Post

I'm going shopping today!  Dh is going to sling Dylan and corral Owen, and I am going to shop til I drop :-)

Swapping clothing with friends or perusing resale/consignment boutiques is a cheaper way to pad your closet as well!   



I am so close to getting a cropped mom cut!  Ha!  My hair is long, beautiful and always in the way!  I've never had long hair with a baby and I can totally see why people cut it off.  It's either strangling a baby or it's drenched in spitup..  The bun is my friend.  I will make it through this, I will make it through this..  ;)



Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaimee View Post

*Shower regularly (I get one in every other day) or at the very least wipe down with a wash cloth to get rid of the sour milk and spit up smell

*Brush your hair

*Shave or go all out and get a wax

*Pluck your eyebrows (if you do that sort of thing)

*Nail polish

*1 or 2 new pieces of clothing that fit well and can be worn with a variety of things

*Get dressed first thing in the morning

*Dye your hair with henna

*Get a hair cut, but do NOT fall victim to getting the cropped "mom" haircut

*Exercise or at least get out of the house for some fresh air

*Get new lotion, cream, or oil and get dh to give you a massage (and maybe dtd)

*Get new underwear (maybe suggest this for V-day?)

 

I try my hardest to prioritize activities for when the kids go down for naps.  So as SOON as the baby is asleep or the boys are both down for naps I know exactly what I'm going to do and do it in order of importance to me.  It usually involves one or two quick chores and one thing for me.  I tell myself if I can accomplish my short list then I will feel good even if the baby wakes 10 minutes later.



 

post #18 of 172

I just chopped off a lot of my hair. It was the longest it's ever been and was getting caught on stuff all of the time. I was sick of detangling it too. It started looking ratty from lack of care with how busy I've been. Anybody seen the movie Bridesmaids? I got the Kristen Wiig hair-do! LOVE it! It has totally made me feel better about myself. orngbiggrin.gif

post #19 of 172

I chopped my hair, too! It was down to my pants line and I chopped it to my chin. I was a total long hair girl before, but I just couldn't handle it. Love the new cut, though love.gif

post #20 of 172

lol.gif  It's not getting a short hair cut that is the problem, per se, but a lot of new moms do chop their hair off and it can exacerbate the frumpy look (as short hair cuts require more maintenance usually) or make ones face look fuller than it actually is and postpartum this is not helpful on the self image front.  I'm sure ya'll look gorgeous with your new do's!

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