We recently hired a wonderful woman to be an aid for my son: she's with us twice a week for 3 hours each time. We are homeschoolers and participating in certain activities can be difficult for me because of my son's behaviours (DD will be evaluated for Asperger's later this year so she can be a handful, too). I was so excited to find someone who "fit" with us, but we are having some rocky starts with DS and I'm looking for some advice...
DS (and DD, too, to a certain extent) seem to be viewing this person's sudden appearance in our lives with suspicion. We talked about it for some time before she was hired, and I explained that she was here to help DS and make family outings (field trips with our homeschool group, etc) more successful for all of us. We've been out twice now with the aid (after a very successful first visit to our home where she played Lego with DS who was at his most charming) - once to our local learning centre and once to a playground - and the kids seem to be resenting her presence. DS in particular has been very rude to her and I'm really uncomfortable with the hurtful things he's saying, even though I understand that the aid doesn't take it personally. I'm thinking that they see her as perhaps trying to get in-between me and them. She doesn't do things they way they are used to and they complain about that, etc. I've tried to explain to the kids that *I* need her help, and I'm hoping that eventually they will get used to her being around and accept her assistance without resentment.
I would like to hear from parents whose kids have aids - how did you introduce them? how well did it go at first? how did your child feel about having this person accompanying them and stepping in when their behaviours escalated? I had such high hopes for this but every time I even mention her name now DS starts growling or saying he hates her, etc.
