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january chat 17th-23rd - Page 5

post #81 of 96
Oh, one thing I wanted to add: a few days ago, when we were having an all day cry-fest, I asked DH if he thought someone else would be a better mother to our baby. He says no way, and that since the moment Winter was born I have been more truly myself than DH has ever seen. Mothering him just fits me so perfectly.
What a love! I've felt the same way, that finally I've found the purpose of my life. I was always meant to be mother to this beautiful boy. As his mama, I'm happy and truly myself in ways I've never been. I'm so glad DH noticed too.
post #82 of 96

Azadehhast, next time some one asks what you need, ask for Target gift cards. Then go get some new clothes! smile.gif

 

And I totally hear you about feeling fulfilled as a mama. I, too, feel that this is my calling. It's beyond wonderful.

post #83 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

Ok, I've got to ask: are anyone else's babies not so fond of their papas? DH has been home since W was born, and we all spend lots of time together, but Winter is very much a mam's boy, and he just cries whenever his papa has him. He does fine with women who aren't me, but he doesn't like men. My baby likes the boobies!

 

So far Stephanie likes anyone who's holding her, unless she's hungry. Then she loves me and only me :D BUT tell your DH that all kids, eventually, have a stage where it's all about daddy, all the time. My kids didn't get it until they were older because I was single... but DS is like that now. When DH comes home from work, he wants a hug and he HAS to sit next to him whenever we watch T.V. or go out for supper or to the movies, and he won't talk to me if he has a bad day at school, he needs his dad, etc. My niece is 2 and the only time my sister is allowed to put her shoes on or help her with ANYTHING is when her dad isn't home. So your DH will have his turn to be the favourite, too.... most of the time they are okay with either parent, but every once in a while there's a stage with a really strong preference.

post #84 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

Wow, that dinner sounds fabulous, Ashlee! No ideas, but I hope you can work it out.
Jesusfollower, I m with you on wanting new clothes that FIT....but I can't bring myself to buy anything because I feel guilty about spending the money, since we don't know yet if MSP will cover the bills from W's birth ($26,000). I'm a little neurotic about spending money...but all I can really wear is one pair of yoga pants and two skirts, and with all I'm getting pooped on and peed on and especially spit up on, what I've got just isn't cutting it. Everyone is always asking what they can buy for baby, but we dont need anything, and I'm wishing I could ask for a bra and a pair of pants or something.
On pacis, Winter has phases where he's quite dependent on his. I hated it at first, but now we've had a few days where he wont take it, but wanted to comfort suck all day, and all he would take was the breast. I love nursing my baby, but those days weren't so fun! He has, though, developed a second suck; he'll suckdeeply and drink when he's hungry, but when he doesn't want any more milk, he switches to a shallow, tongue-y suck that doesn't draw as much milk.
Ok, I've got to ask: are anyone else's babies not so fond of their papas? DH has been home since W was born, and we all spend lots of time together, but Winter is very much a mam's boy, and he just cries whenever his papa has him. He does fine with women who aren't me, but he doesn't like men. My baby likes the boobies!


Would you feel comfortable asking people who offer for a gift card to a store where you can get baby stuff and grownup stuff? (Like Target or something?) Then you could get a pair of pants or something for you? Or, do you know anyone who can spread the word for you that what you really want/need is a bra or a pair of pants? Some people who have offered to get us stuff would totally have gone for that had they known I needed it, and some people really really really just want to buy the baby something. YMMV

 

AFM - Nursing is still challenging - downright painful at times. Never when anyone who is able to give help and suggestions is here though. Then it's a breeze. eyesroll.gif I have a lactation consultant coming tonight who we are paying... wanna bet that when she's here nursing will be downright pleasurable???? I think we've ruled out thrush and tongue tie, but I'll ask the LC to double check those for me. I've been afraid to introduce a paci, because I didn't want to create any issues around learning how to nurse without the nipple shield. He does comfort suck on my finger though, sometimes. It's very useful when he's upset about diaper changes or being in the car seat. Once in a while he sucks his own thumb... OMG so cute!!! Teeny tiny thumb in teeny tiny mouth!!

 

post #85 of 96

Azad- I totally asked my mom for nursing shirts, but don't know how I would feel asking anyone else.

 

Heather- This one was the first time I had BLEEDING nipples, I finally decided it was laziness on my part about making sure he was close to me and up on me when I was nursing him. His latch looks good to me. My nipples are almost completely healed and it's not so bad anymore, so I think I'm on the right track.

 

My girls both prefer my DH now that they are older, it's nice since they go to his side of the bed in the middle of the night :)

post #86 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

Everyone is always asking what they can buy for baby, but we dont need anything, and I'm wishing I could ask for a bra and a pair of pants or something.
On pacis, Winter has phases where he's quite dependent on his. I hated it at first, but now we've had a few days where he wont take it, but wanted to comfort suck all day, and all he would take was the breast. I love nursing my baby, but those days weren't so fun! He has, though, developed a second suck; he'll suckdeeply and drink when he's hungry, but when he doesn't want any more milk, he switches to a shallow, tongue-y suck that doesn't draw as much milk.
Ok, I've got to ask: are anyone else's babies not so fond of their papas? DH has been home since W was born, and we all spend lots of time together, but Winter is very much a mam's boy, and he just cries whenever his papa has him. He does fine with women who aren't me, but he doesn't like men. My baby likes the boobies!


For Christmas my father wanted to make stockings for everyone, and asked what to put in Tenley's. We do stocking prices of $10-15, so dollar store stuff, and there was nothing she needed, so we told him to get mommy and daddy chocolate for T's stocking, because if mama a'int happy, a'int nobody happy! lol Really, if people want to help you guys, then they should be willing to buy things that will help you- which will help Winter!

 

We were the same with a paci. I had bought some, but I really wasn't planning on introducing them until after 6 weeks, as per breastfeeding recommendations... But seriously, we asked for one after the first night in the hospital. She nursed for 24 hours straight, and I was so exhausted and my nipples were raw. I was cringing every time she tried to latch on. We use them now, though try not to offer it unless she's already distressed and it seems like she needs it. I really do credit it with keeping me breastfeeding-- if I didn't have that bit of respite, I think I would have quit when my nipples were raw, cracked and bleeding. It helped give me the 5 minutes, 10 minutes etc that I needed to get back into a headspace where I could nurse her lovingly, instead of grudgingly. 

 

Re: mama/daddy love. She loves us for different things. If she's awake and happy, it's daddy she wants to be with, hands down. He's the one that she coos and talks and smiles at, and the one she will look towards for reactions when she does stuff. If she needs cuddles or to sleep though, I'm generally the only one that can calm her. It sucks for me both ways I think! Sometimes when she's fussy I'd love to hand her off and have 30 minutes of quiet, but she just gets more agitated with him. 

post #87 of 96

Heather - how did the visit with the LC go?

 

Naomi definitly prefers mama...like more so than I would ever believe a newborn could lol....she'll stay with someone else for a few mins and then she will cry and want to nurse...but she doesn't have to nurse that often when she's with me...I think she just needs that extra attachment after being "away" lol

 

I am so totally exhausted now that I'm back at work! I've been trying to read this thread for like 2 days lol and I keep falling asleep!

 

Our ENT appt is tomorrow, we saw the speech pathologist today...went ok, we have a few things to work on and see her again in a couple weeks to find out if there has been improvement.

 

Did I mention I am exhausted? I can't even think straight!

 

 

post #88 of 96

The LC's visit was great. She was really knowledgeable and sympathetic, both of which I needed LOL She helped me figure out some ways to work on his latch, and gave me some names of people around here to call about getting evaluated for tongue tie. I'll see her again on Monday at a new mom's group my midwife is starting up. I can't wait for that - when I moved here to get married, I left behind my wonderful "village" of crunchy mamas. I miss them lots right now!!

 

 

Also, any of you sleep sitting up with baby on your chest? There are times when I would LOOOOOOOVE to be able to do this, but I"m so worried about dropping him! I did try sleeping with him strapped to me in the Baby K'Tan carrier (like a Moby, but less wrapping - love it) but I still worried about his breathing and couldn't get into a comfortable position to sleep. So many times at night he'll fall asleep nursing and then I put him down, lay down myself (his crib is sidecarred to our bed) and as soon as I shut out the light he wakes up again. Makes me nutty. And I know he would sleep for hours on me. Any suggestions?

post #89 of 96

Heather- my first was like this, I was totally batty....I usually laid her down so she was touching me and she'd sleep, a little....the only good thing I have to say about my first being an awful sleeper is that either my subsequent children were better sleepers, or just anything seemed better than the first. LOL

post #90 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by futuremamaheather View Post

Also, any of you sleep sitting up with baby on your chest? There are times when I would LOOOOOOOVE to be able to do this, but I"m so worried about dropping him! I did try sleeping with him strapped to me in the Baby K'Tan carrier (like a Moby, but less wrapping - love it) but I still worried about his breathing and couldn't get into a comfortable position to sleep. So many times at night he'll fall asleep nursing and then I put him down, lay down myself (his crib is sidecarred to our bed) and as soon as I shut out the light he wakes up again. Makes me nutty. And I know he would sleep for hours on me. Any suggestions?


Nak

 

we did this for weeeeeeks bc she wouldnt go down. she lies tummy down on my chest, and i would link my arms around her bum. it worked, and i felt much more secure once the p&p was 'sidecarred' as well. I would sleep with a pile of pillows behind me and once she fell asleep i would kind of slide down so i was more flat-ish. she did work her way off the edge of me a few times, but it didnt wake up either of us, so as long as youe got the crib sidecarred you should be fine.

 

if that doesnt feel secure, what about a piece of fabric wrapped over him and tucked under your body? not necessarily a carrier, but just something that offers a bit of resistance. 

post #91 of 96
Thanks for the advise, mamas. I think I will suggest to a few aunties what I really need. I doubt they'll be bothered!

Any Canadian mamas think you would use $100 at babies r us and want to trade cash for a gift card there? Our landlord gave me the card (wow, right?!), but I've been in the store and looked online, and they have basically nothing I would buy.

Heather, I've slept plenty with baby on me, usually just laying mostly flat, propped up a bit with pillows. W doesn't move much in his sleep unless he is waking up to feed or needs to be changed, and I find I'm very aware of everything he does when I'm sleeping, so we haven't had any problems with him falling off. But, have you tried nursing to sleep with the lights already off? We got a little nightlight that is just enough for me to nurse and change him by, and he hardly even knows he's woken up until its light outside. Also, can you nurse laying on your sides, and then just keep him close to you and in your arm once he falls asleep? This is our favorite way to sleep.

So, Winter has gotten his poos down to about twice per day, and he grunts and tries to get it out for about 10 minutes, so we've been catching all his poos and a few pees each day. He has such a victorious gurgle when he knows he's done it, it's so adorable! I also find that he absolutely will not poop while I'm wearing him, so if he's crying on me, that's a sure indication to take him to the potty. EC is way fun! Anyone else doing it?
post #92 of 96

Sometimes DD does better if I put her down when she's still awake... I sit up in bed to nurse her, and the light in our room has a dimmer, so I turn it on just enough that I can see. When she's done nursing she fights sleep and if I'm really tired and just want to lay down, sometimes I put her in her bed and she lays there and stares at the light until she dozes off.   The midwife suggested waiting 10 minutes after the baby is asleep so she'd be in a deeper sleep, but she takes longer than that... it's just the middle stage where she' sin a light sleep that she doesn't like being put down. I didn't think it would work at all to put her down when she's awake.

post #93 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azadehhast View Post

On pacis, Winter has phases where he's quite dependent on his. I hated it at first, but now we've had a few days where he wont take it, but wanted to comfort suck all day, and all he would take was the breast. I love nursing my baby, but those days weren't so fun! He has, though, developed a second suck; he'll suckdeeply and drink when he's hungry, but when he doesn't want any more milk, he switches to a shallow, tongue-y suck that doesn't draw as much milk.
Ok, I've got to ask: are anyone else's babies not so fond of their papas? DH has been home since W was born, and we all spend lots of time together, but Winter is very much a mam's boy, and he just cries whenever his papa has him. He does fine with women who aren't me, but he doesn't like men. My baby likes the boobies!

 

I'm still a little iffy on the paci (we just started with one a few days ago).  I guess it's nice to not be constantly comfort nursing, but it hurt when he took the paci and didn't need me anymore.  Plus it added a new twist of, "What does baby want?"  And as far as I can tell his comfort nursing/paci cues are the same as his feed-me cues.  But you're right, sometimes he still wants to comfort nurse and he's got those 2 sucks too.  It's so cool!  These babies are so much fun.

 

Yes, O is less fond of DH than of me, my mom, or my MIL.  I think it's really frustrating for DH and it's sometimes frustrating for me.  I hate coming out of the shower hearing O cry and I try not to blame DH, but I think it comes off that way sometimes.  Well, and sometimes I feel that way.  But I need to be more supportive because DH cares soooo much.  I think it hurts him when I hand him a peaceful, content baby that quickly starts fussing.  :(
 

Quote:
that since the moment Winter was born I have been more truly myself than DH has ever seen. Mothering him just fits me so perfectly.


DH has mentioned the same thing to me.  I'm enjoying it more than I thought I would (which is to say I'm loving every second).  I'm still not able to totally accept that motherhood is my role or that I'm "a Mom", but it's nice to know that it's come so naturally.  I was worried when we first started on this adventure.

Quote:
Originally Posted by futuremamaheather View Post

Also, any of you sleep sitting up with baby on your chest? There are times when I would LOOOOOOOVE to be able to do this, but I"m so worried about dropping him! 


Yes though not enough.  I feel bad about it/worry about it, but he feels pretty solid up there and I sleep very lightly.  We have a dim light on all night, like Azadehhast.  Just enough to latch on and change diapers by.  He almost always goes right back to sleep next to me (or on top of me) in bed, then I move him over to the co-sleeper.  Or sometimes keep him in bed.  Depends on my need for sleep/need for cuddles ratio.

 

My job interview was totally ridiculous and I am not remotely interested in the job so that stress is gone.

 

In-law visit is going ok.  FIL is driving me bonkers and has been the first person to bring out anything resembling a mama bear in me.  I will have more fun stories on that front when there's more time.

 

post #94 of 96

I read every day, but don't have much time to post. Miss catching up with you ladies!

post #95 of 96


Heather (which is my real name too lol...everytime someone references you I think "how do they know my name?" than I realize they mean you lol): So glad the visit with the LC went well! PLEASE get him evaluated for a tongue tie - I'll write more on that further down. Sometimes I sleep with Naomi on my chest...but nt on purpose LOL!! I'm scared too...mostly because I kind of have dropped her a little!!! EEK!!! Would she sleep on you arm or something with you are laying down? We do that sometimes...

 

 

Now I have to say we had a great experience going to see the (MDC and lowmilksupply.org) highly reccomended ENT today..he actually said, "I must be on a website somewhere because you aren't the only one who traveled hours to come here" and I said, "you are" LOL and we did get Naomi's frinilum on her tongue clipped....still not sure how well she's nursing, only time can tell...but I have done everything I can now and I am ok with however it turns out...I have total peace about it. I will be sad if she can't nurse...but I will be ok with it at the same time, you know? I seriously thank all of you for your amazing support!

 

Here is what I just posted on my LLL FB group:

 

Dr. Goldstone was the ENT we saw, and he was AWESOME - I highly recommend him; he was so knowledgeable and really showed us and explained everything and answered all our questions. My hubby was still unsure but he was willing to trust my judgment...my mom helped my hubby understand what I was trying to tell him better too - so glad she was able to join me. ;-) anyway Dr G said the lip tie was not bad and he did not feel it would interfere with breastfeeding or teeth, he did say she had a posterior tongue tie and highly recommended releasing it. He released it via laser (and I held her the whole time and we got to see everything). Afterwards she cried hard for about 5mins then nursed. Later we went to the pediatricians' office and she is 9lbs now (6lbs over birth weight and a 10oz gain in 1wk LOL making up for lost time!) She did not gain weight after her feed. I have fed her twice since then and those 2 times she hardly clicked and unlatched on her own and seemed satisfied. She is refusing the bottle from me (screaming and closing her mouth) - I'm going to do another feed/weigh tomorrow and keep them up for a little while until I consistently see that she is drinking more. She's been playing with her tongue a lot (it sticks out way further and goes up way further when she cries) so I think she is just learning how it moves etc. And hopefully in a few days she won't need bottles at all when she's with me! :-)

 

post #96 of 96
Quote:
Originally Posted by LilMomma83 View Post


Heather (which is my real name too lol...everytime someone references you I think "how do they know my name?" than I realize they mean you lol): So glad the visit with the LC went well! PLEASE get him evaluated for a tongue tie - I'll write more on that further down. Sometimes I sleep with Naomi on my chest...but nt on purpose LOL!! I'm scared too...mostly because I kind of have dropped her a little!!! EEK!!! Would she sleep on you arm or something with you are laying down? We do that sometimes...

 

 

Now I have to say we had a great experience going to see the (MDC and lowmilksupply.org) highly reccomended ENT today..he actually said, "I must be on a website somewhere because you aren't the only one who traveled hours to come here" and I said, "you are" LOL and we did get Naomi's frinilum on her tongue clipped....still not sure how well she's nursing, only time can tell...but I have done everything I can now and I am ok with however it turns out...I have total peace about it. I will be sad if she can't nurse...but I will be ok with it at the same time, you know? I seriously thank all of you for your amazing support!

 

Here is what I just posted on my LLL FB group:

 

Dr. Goldstone was the ENT we saw, and he was AWESOME - I highly recommend him; he was so knowledgeable and really showed us and explained everything and answered all our questions. My hubby was still unsure but he was willing to trust my judgment...my mom helped my hubby understand what I was trying to tell him better too - so glad she was able to join me. ;-) anyway Dr G said the lip tie was not bad and he did not feel it would interfere with breastfeeding or teeth, he did say she had a posterior tongue tie and highly recommended releasing it. He released it via laser (and I held her the whole time and we got to see everything). Afterwards she cried hard for about 5mins then nursed. Later we went to the pediatricians' office and she is 9lbs now (6lbs over birth weight and a 10oz gain in 1wk LOL making up for lost time!) She did not gain weight after her feed. I have fed her twice since then and those 2 times she hardly clicked and unlatched on her own and seemed satisfied. She is refusing the bottle from me (screaming and closing her mouth) - I'm going to do another feed/weigh tomorrow and keep them up for a little while until I consistently see that she is drinking more. She's been playing with her tongue a lot (it sticks out way further and goes up way further when she cries) so I think she is just learning how it moves etc. And hopefully in a few days she won't need bottles at all when she's with me! :-)

 


So good to hear!!! Hopefully it will all work out from here on out.. if, for some reason, it doesn't, AP bottle feeding with expressed milk is totally acceptable. I don't think anyone here would judge you after all you've been through! Kudos for hanging in there!!! 

 

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