dd is loud during quiet time at school -- help

[sarahr]

DD is 5, and in pre-k at a small, wonderfully nurturing school. She loves school and comes home glowing each day. After lunch, they have a quiet time each day -- each kid is expected to lie down on individual mats and be quiet. The lights are off and they put on a book on tape. Starting last week (so many months into the school year), dd just randomly starts screaming. One of the teachers will pull her out of the room (screaming is obviously disruptive to the other kids) and talk to her. She says -- and the teachers agree -- that she's not in pain or upset about anything. DD tells the teachers that "she wanted to yell" and tells us that she "forgot" that she's supposed to be quiet. The teachers are concerned and have called each day this has happened, looking for suggestions or "insight." I think pulling her out of class is just encouraging her to be more disruptive, but clearly they can't ignore it. Any ideas for how to handle at home or for what I should suggest to the teachers?

FWIW, no one is suggesting we "punish" her. That isn't the MO of the school at all.

[meemee]

woah they are still expected to take a nap at 5? all of them. no wonder she is behaving the way she is.

does she take naps at home? 

i would suggest an ipod with headphones to listen to books aloud.

she is bored. she is tired of just laying around. 

in dd's dc from the age of 4 onwards, kids had to lie for half hour on their mats. if they didnt fall asleep they got to get up and do quiet time so as to not wake teh other kids. those who were really tired were able to sleep, which the non sleepers had hands on activities to do. 

[nextcommercial]

Perhaps they could move her mat a little farther away from the others if she's wiggly.  It wont help with the screaming, but at least she'll be a little more free to move around on her mat.

[sarahr]

Originally Posted by meemee 

woah they are still expected to take a nap at 5? all of them. no wonder she is behaving the way she is.

does she take naps at home? 

i would suggest an ipod with headphones to listen to books aloud.

she is bored. she is tired of just laying around. 

in dd's dc from the age of 4 onwards, kids had to lie for half hour on their mats. if they didnt fall asleep they got to get up and do quiet time so as to not wake teh other kids. those who were really tired were able to sleep, which the non sleepers had hands on activities to do. 

I don't think any of the kids actually sleep and it's only 45 minutes or so. There's a book on tape playing the whole time. So I don't think she's bored; or if she is bored, there's nothing that can be done (while still being respectful of the class's routine).

Originally Posted by nextcommercial 

Perhaps they could move her mat a little farther away from the others if she's wiggly.  It wont help with the screaming, but at least she'll be a little more free to move around on her mat.

She's been wiggly the whole year, and so they've already moved her into a corner, as far from the others as possible. No one has a problem with her being wiggly.

[pianojazzgirl]

I'd play off the "I forgot" excuse.  It might make an impression if you made up a "contract" (ie write down the rules of rest time) and have her "sign" at the bottom.  Maybe shake hands afterwards.  ;)  Or, simply have the teacher remind her before each rest period that she needs to be quiet the whole time (though I suspect the teacher already does this).  Another thought is that maybe she could be the "rest time helper", helping in whatever capacity makes sense (help the teacher hand out blankets, help the teacher by reciting the "rest time rules", help by turning out the light, or whatever), in the hopes that she'd feel proud of her role and want to live up to the rest time expectations.

You also might want to consider a short-term reward system to break her of the habit.  You could do something like a sticker on a sticker chart for each day that she "remembers" not to scream during rest time.

Is she allowed to hold some kind of fidget thingie (squishy ball, etc) during rest time?  Having something to fidget with might release some of that restless energy.

ETA I think it would be a good idea to meet with her and the teacher, and go over the rest time rules.  Make sure she really understands.  Then, if it so happens that she does disrupt the class with screaming, the teacher can remove her from class, but simply say "you broke the rest time rules" instead of engaging in a long conversation with her about it.  I think you are right that the attention from the teacher when she screams is kind of "rewarding" the behaviour.  If the teacher could have minimal interaction with her (remove her with a v. short explanation, and then sit her somewhere out of the class, or possibly just send her right back in the class to lie back down) then she would have less "incentive" to scream.

[rachelsmama]

Have all of the screaming incidents been during the same book-on-tape?  Maybe there's something about that particular narator that she finds particularly annoying?   Is the audiobook turned down really low?  As someone who finds the dimmed light and quiet, soothing noises approach to relaxation really, really hard to handle, I'm going to make the suggestion of trying an i-pod with some relatively loud, fast, music with lots of bass.  It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's worth a shot.

[sarahr]

Sigh. She did it again today. 4 times. And we're only talking about a 45 minute period. The last time she got sent to the principal's office, which made her very, very unhappy.

DH thinks she needs some sort of punishment, like not being able to go outside, which is what they do immediately after rest time. (The schedule is outside time, lunch time, rest time, more outside time -- so it's not like rest time comes after too much structure).

What do you all think of that?

[zebra15]

At 5 1/2 yrs old I would expect a child to be able to verbalize what the issue is.  Screaming just for the sake of screaming is not acceptable.  She has been in this routine of play, lunch, nap, play for 6 months now.  Your child needs to explain to you what she doesn't like and what is the reason behind the screaming.  I would also expect a child to understand that screaming in school is unacceptable at anytime, nap time, learning time etc.

Get her to verbalize what the deal is during rest time.

[rachelsmama]

Originally Posted by sarahr 

DH thinks she needs some sort of punishment,

Obviously, something has to be done, but have you asked her if she already feels like she's being punished when she has to lie down in the dark? 

[AbbieB]

You mentioned that she is wiggly all day in class, so I am assuming she is a pretty active kid. Both of my kids are too.

There is no way they would be able to lay down and be quiet after eating. Food gives them an energy burst, no matter what kind of food it is.

I'm guessing your DD is the same way. I can see the behavior as being a way for her to get the energy out.

Can you and her teachers brainstorm some ways for her to get a burst of physical activity before lights out? Can she help get mats out, pass out books, put papers in cubbies, put away materials, anything to give her a burst of activity while the other kids are settling down. Can she do a quiet activity during quiet time other than laying down like read a book, color, do a puzzle? Can she be a helper in another room during that time? Can she work on a computer with headphones?

I was a preK and Kindy teacher before having my own kids. I can tell you that from 4 and up, not all kids can settle down and rest after lunch. One school I was a teacher in had mandatory quiet time for the 4 year olds, but there were several adults in the room and the wiggly, resistant kids always had a dedicated adult with them to settle them down by reading/looking at books and then rubbing their back until they passed out. Some of those kids would get to a quiet point and then just lay down and continue to looks at books on their own, never napping. I did not have quiet time in my kindy class, it was a half day program, but other kindys I observed would always have a teacher or an aid reading to the class or something going on while the kids rested, there was no expectation of sleep at that age, just quiet. And even more importantly, quiet time was always after a period of post lunch play time on the play ground.

[meemee]

well punishment is going to get her nowhere. she is not doing it purposely. she probably cant help herself. and as rachelsmama pointed out having to lay down is punishment enough. 

can she have her own mp3 player and play her own musc/stories with headphones. 

that's what dd's dc did for all the problem wiggly children. that helped them a LOT. 

[K1329]

I agree, at 5, she is old enough to have a discussion about it. She may be able to verbalize why she's doing it, but, more importantly, she may be able to come up with a solution. I'd try a meeting, brainstorm solutions, discuss the effect of her behavior on the others, &, perhaps lay out a consequence.
Nap/quiet time is mandated by law through kindy where I am. I suspect getting out if it won't be an option.