From Home birth to Hospital birth - any women here? « Back to Group Discussions

[Maximeee]

Anybody here ever switched from being a home birther to a hospital birther? I had an AWESOME experience with my first. I grew up in the Netherlands, so home birth has always been super normal to me. I saw an OB with my first until 21 weeks, when I found out first hand how mean he & his staff were. Super anti natural birth. So that made the decision for a home birth easy.

When I got pregnant in February of last year, we found an amazing home birth midwife who I absolutely adore. At 10 weeks we found out the pregnancy was a molar pregnancy, and we went to a hospital in Boulder to see an OB. My experience there was so wonderful. I know that must sound so weird - describing being admitted for a molar pregnancy wonderful. But the OBs there were just so sweet and never looked at me weird for having had a HB or wanting a HB. My recovery after the D&C was slow, but the after care from the OB was great and for the first time ever, I didn't experience any white coat syndrome.

So when I found out I was pregnant in early December, I called my HB midwife to start care. But something just didn't feel right. And it's not her - it's definitely me (gosh, that sounds like the tacky line one of my HS BF's used to break up with me). Anyway, I decided to call the OB practice to see if they would take my insurance and they do!!! I've had an appointment there already and I feel completely at PEACE. I don't know if it's my paranoia or a genuine gut feeling - but I feel like I need to birth in the hospital. Its a fabulous hospital with labor tubs in every room, comfortable rooms with queen sized beds & nice sleeper sofas etc. Super natural minded, too.

Anyway, to get to the point of all this... I almost feel guilty towards people I know that have had home births for choosing a hospital birth. Am I just a weirdo? I feel like I'm gonna have to defend myself and explain and I have no clue why I feel this way!! So, anybody out there who went from home birther to hospital birther? Can you relate?

[Lizbiz]

Hi!  I've had two homebirths - the first assisted by a midwife and the second unassisted, and I'm still not sure what we're going to do about this birth.  My gut says that we'll homebirth again - but I still really don't know.  What I do know is that intuition and comfort level and gut feelings are really important - so I would strongly advise following your intuition.  I don't think you should feel one ounce of guilt for switching birthing methods... go with what is seeming right to you this time around.  It's not as though having a hospital birth somehow invalidates your homebirth experience, and vice versa!  

For me, I think it's just so important for women to birth in situations where they are psychologically very comfortable - and for each woman that can be a very different setting and that can change from birth to birth. 

[RedTree]

I'll be switching things up this time myself.  My first was a wonderful home-birth but we just can't afford to pay out of pocket (3K-5K) for another one this time around.

I do have some hope,  I found a hospital within 30 minutes of me with one of the lowest C-section rates in my state and that has a birthing center attached.  Private labor rooms with big labor tubs and all sort of standard policies I agree with (delayed cord clamping, skin-to-skin, breastfeeding asap, no IV or continuous monitoring).  Best of all it takes our insurance.  So I'll most likely be going with a CNM affiliated with the Birthing Center.

But I do feel a little guilty about not going with my old midwife ... sigh.

~RedTree

[Ninetales]

I didn't HB last time, but I went through a freestanding birth center with my first.  It ended up not going well and I decided to transfer, ended up with a section.  Because of that I had to basically pay out of pocket twice for her birth.  It really wrecked our finances and we just can't take the risk of it happening again.  We don't know exactly what caused the problem last time (probably a combination of things) but with no good reason to think it won't happen again, I'm just going through an OB this time.  An HB would fall under the same umbrella of risking a double bill, so that's out too.

I know what you mean.  I almost feel ashamed, like I'm letting down "the cause."  Or admitting that HB/natural birth isn't "all that."  Which isn't true, I'm still all for it, but our crappy health care system makes it risky financially.

[Knitting Mama]

It's sad to think that you can't have the birth that is the best for you and your situation without having to defend yourself on it, but I know all too well what you mean. I often feel like I am too crunchy for mainstream but not crunchy enough for MDC, so it's a position I'm familiar with! 

[Geigerin]

I think it's great you're following your instincts. I co-lead a homebirth support group, but we're considering a hospital birth. And my co-leader is my doula and super supportive. I know it feels a bit odd, but ultimately, we should all support each other's birth choices. :) I actually think unassisted is awesome but wouldn't choose it myself. :)

[eleuthia]

Originally Posted by Ninetales 
I know what you mean.  I almost feel ashamed, like I'm letting down "the cause."  Or admitting that HB/natural birth isn't "all that."  Which isn't true, I'm still all for it, but our crappy health care system makes it risky financially.

I think that people like you (and maybe me, if I am risked out of the birth center) who are informed about natural birth have an opportunity to make hospital birth better for everyone! Obviously your focus will be on your child/your birth, but if you, for instance, convince your doctor/hospital to delay cord clamping, the next person who includes it in their birth plan may have an easier time. You're really just taking "the cause" to a different venue. 

[Knitting Mama]

That is an awesome way to put it, eleuthia! And I will say, I had a great hospital experience as far as following my birth plan (no eye goop, delayed clamping, baby in room 24/7, etc) went. And as far as I know, that is the status quo for my hospital. I do talk about that as often as I can, because I do a lot of times feel like I have to defend having a hospital birth with certain circles, even though I have chronic illnesses that knock me out of being able to use a midwife.

[Maximeee]

Thanks ladies, you made me feel so much better :). People are just shocked when I tell them, because it's well known how much I love home birth. And like you said, Cecilia's Mama, it's almost like I'm letting the cause down. But eleuthia, I love how you put it!!

I'm looking forward to the hospital birth. My OB's encourage hiring a doula & using alternative care like herbalists, chiropractors etc, so hopefully I won't be met with a lot of resistance when it comes to our wishes (delayed clamping, no eye goop etc etc).

[Knitting Mama]

I would just be sure to write your birth plan out in detail, though limit it to one page if you can (we did bullet points for during labor and after birth), and that way you know you won't have to remember everything. It's also a nice thing for your doula and partner. We also took the advice of a very wise friend and did a treat basket for the nurses, onto which we put a sign that said, "Please enjoy a snack while you take a moment to read our birth plan." It worked very well! We had an amazing team of nurses!

[FeralFox]

I'm another one.  I had a "failed" home birth last time - my labor was just too long, so after two days of hard labor and no sleep I transfered so that I could get some rest.  I wouldn't have been able to push him out at home, as tired as I was.  We ended up paying $5000 to the midwife, and another $13K out of pocket for the hospital.  Now that I work for a hospital, we get free care throughout my pregnancy, so we'll be taking full advantage of it.  There's a small community hospital in the system that has a midwifery service and an excellent reputation for being natural birth friendly.  Financially the choice is between going to the hospital and going unassisted.  We're still not 100% sure whether we'll make the drive to the hospital when it comes time to birth (I suspect we'll decide that day, based on how I feel) but I don't regret going to see the hospital midwives, and keeping that possibility open.

[intime0]

I'm an avid homebirther myself, but everyone should do what htey feel led.  If your intuition is telling you to go, than that is the right thing!  With my son, I just felt from the beginning that something was "off".  Had to be induced for preeclampsia.  While it wasnt what I wanted, having my precious boy WAS.  KWIM?  You do what's right for you and don't feel guilty. 

I LOVE what someone said about setting the stage for other mothers. 

I feel sad for those of you who have to choose a different route because of insurance.  That totally stinks.

[Lisanne]

My first was in a hospital with a doctor, my second at home with a midwife and this one will most likely be with a midwife in the hospital. It's all about the freedom to choose what is best for you and your baby and that can change with every pregnancy. No need to feel guilty. I think that after my homebirth I will be firmer with the hospital staff. I know what I want and will stand up for myself better than I did the first time around.

[babywearer_anon]

I had a homebirth with a midwife for my first (June 2009).  Its covered here by public health care in the province i live in in Canada.

However, I can't seem to get a midwife for #2!  They are full!  The demand here is very high for midwives.  So, while I don't have the lack of insurance problem, I have a 'the-system-is-overloaded' type of problem!

So I am coming to terms with the fact that I may have to go the hospital route.  I know its possible to have a great hospital birth, but I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it since my first birth went great at home!

There's still a possibility that I may get a midwife later on, but for now I need to start changing my perspective.

Also, like one other poster mentioned,  I totally think un-assisted birth is awesome, its just not for me!

[ilovetchotchkes]

AAAGH! I can't edit it the way I want to. See my comment below. :)

[ilovetchotchkes]

 

Originally Posted by Cecilia's Mama 

It's sad to think that you can't have the birth that is the best for you and your situation without having to defend yourself on it, but I know all too well what you mean. I often feel like I am too crunchy for mainstream but not crunchy enough for MDC, so it's a position I'm familiar with! 

Story of my life :) 

I'm SO not comfortable with a home birth. I know the chances of something going wrong are like nil, but i know two women personally who had homebirths that ended in stillbirths and I can't... I just can't.

I am having a 2nd hospital birth unless i have an accidental unplanned unassisted - ok it wont 'be "unassisted" as my doula is a student midwife, but you all know what I mean. 

[major_mama11]

I didn't homebirth with my kiddos, but I delivered in a freestanding birth center, so pretty similar- same equipment available, etc. I'll deliver my third in the hospital where I work. I feel like I have an unfair advantage, as I get to see what all the OBs/CNMs are like behind the scenes- hearing what they say about their patients in the nurses' station, etc. I chose an OB that is supportive of natural birth if the mom wants that, but is also incredibly skilled at jumping into action to do what's needed in an emergent situation. Even though she's really busy and thus has shorter office visits than I was used to at the birth center, I already feel like she has truly listened to my concerns better and responded more appropriately than any caregiver I've had in the past (and I've had several).