I've been lurking for a bit reading some threads, and I think I'm ready to jump in and ask some of my own questions! :)
So, my DH and I are looking into domestic infant adoption in AZ. Not sure yet if we want to go through an agency or private lawyer, etc. We have a DD age 5 yrs that we had via gestational surrogacy (my mom was the surrogate!). We now are ready to explore adding another to our family.
So...I am VERY overwhelmed with various concerns...the first one being that I worry our adopted child will feel inferior somehow, or less loved, because our first child was through surrogacy with my mom...I guess it's not much different than having a bio child normally and then adopting, right? But...the question of why did we do surrogacy for her and adoption for the other...well I just worry about it. Is this a valid concern?
Second...and I hate how this makes me sound but I feel very uncomfortable with open adoption. I just am not sure that I could handle my son/daughter in constant contact with his/her BM, I would feel like I am not the mom. If this a common fear? I dont want to deprive my child of knowing his/her past, etc but....sigh. What is the most common type of open adoption? The occasional letter? Phone calls? Visits?
Sorry if this post is all over the place, I'm feeling very confused about it all right now!
Thanks for any insight!