Is preschool necessary?

[woo27ks]

i want to homeschool, but i'm not sure it's going to work out. if i do send him to school does he need to go to preschool? i say no, but my former husband says he needs the structure. i'm struggling with the whole idea of school anyway and the way my x acts like a know it all drives me to drink. does he really need to go to preschool? thanks mamas

[lauren]

You know, I think it depends on the child. If you're going to homeschool anyway, it probably doesn't make any sense to do preschool. What a great (not average, not just good, but great) preschool can do is provide opportunities for a lot of guided positive social skill development, exposure to new stimulating activities, developing an early friendship group, and provide a nice set of perhaps like minded parents to connect with for you and dh. For kids that ARE going to school, with particular issues (shy, strong willed, extra active or spirited, etc.) preschool can be really good practice for the social component of school. I also think it can be just plain fun (that's what my kids always told me!) There are also certainly lots of kids who do without preschool just fine. I think if you do it, it should be a program you're really excited about; otherwise you'll be looking for its faults more often.

[daylily]

The decision to send or not to send a child to preschool is purely up to personal choice. Preschool is definitely not necessary, although some parents may like what their preschool has offered their child.

My own opinion is not objective, since I've always lamented the trend of sending children to school at younger and younger ages. None of my four children went to preschool, and judging from my friends' complaints about their preschools, these institutions exist to take parents' money and enforce a lot of petty, rigid rules.

[candiland]

I believe it depends on a lot of different factors.

For my dd, preschool is necessary. She is so much happier and more outgoing now that she gets to get out of the house a few days a week to do "her own" thing. That, in turn, does wonders for our mother-child relationship. She loooooves her "teacher" and all the children in her class.

She goes to a homebased Waldorf preschool. The "main" teacher is a kind, wonderful, wise woman who taught Waldorf toddlers and preschoolers for over 20 years. The "assistant" is a lovely young student who is going to college to be an art teacher. There are only eight kids, max; and the same kids aren't there every day.

these institutions exist to take parents' money and enforce a lot of petty, rigid rules.

Well, it does cost a lot b/c of the teacher's experience and the class size. But there aren't ANY petty, rigid rules. None. They don't even believe in time-outs. Everything is dealt with immediately and talked out, one-on-one, if needed. The only "rules" are obvious ones: no hitting, no screaming at one another, no purposefully agitating one another. I help out two days a week and it is the most serene, peaceful place. I wish I would've had something like it when I was a tot

If you're interested, and you find a preschool that sits really well with you, there's no harm in trying it out. My child was kind of shy, moody and anti-social before going to preschool and now she's really blossomed into a vibrant, happy kid. Use your instincts. You'll know what's best!

[momsgotmilk4two]

Originally posted by daylily
T

My own opinion is not objective, since I've always lamented the trend of sending children to school at younger and younger ages. None of my four children went to preschool, and judging from my friends' complaints about their preschools, these institutions exist to take parents' money and enforce a lot of petty, rigid rules.

This hasn't been our experience at all. Our preschool is wonderful The teachers are so warm and caring and there are not a lot of rules. I am actually surprised at how few. I really love how relaxed it is there. The only thing I worry about is that his grade school experience might not be as positive as his preschool one because I can't imagine finding an elementary school like this.

The classroom is huge and there are lots of different stations set up- art, science, a table for cutting and drawing, a water table that always has different stuff in it, big blocks, dramatic play animals, housekeeping, book corner, puppet corner, puzzles, etc. The kids pretty much have free reign. They have outside time and the easels are also out there as well as bubbles, trikes, a nice play stucture, and goats and a bunny rabbit (in pens). They have circle time but it's not mandatory, and they have pre k group time where the kids work on various skills in small groups with a teacher, but this also is not mandatory. Ds participates in group time and loves it though.

I don't think preschool is necessary for everyone, but I do feel that it's been very beneficial for us.

[daylily]

By "rules" I didn't mean rules of conduct for the children. I was referring more to rules for the parents--I should have written "policies." I'm talking about things like open houses at which siblings are not allowed to attend, or other annoyances.

As I said, to each his own. It could be great for some people.

[Mothra]

My 6yo went to a fantastic preschool when he was 4. It started because my husband was being deployed, I was six months pregnant and trying to work at home, and I had no outside help with childcare. It ended up being an amazing experience for him. I think we might have been in real trouble if he hadn't gone, actually.

The preschool was independently owned and operated, no big brother company to answer to. The kids brought their own lunches. Before he started, I spent an hour with the director talking about my child, her program, and how we thought he would do there. She actually wanted me to give her criticism about the program and tell her what she could do to make the transition easy for him. He was nver forced to do anything-- if they were coloring and he didn't feel like coloring he could read a book. There were always choices. The only "rule" was that he could not do something that was disrupting to the other children who were participating in an activity. Everything he did was his choice. He learned how to participate in a group activity, something he dind't know how to do as an only child, take turns playing games, and work on a project independently. It was wonderful, and he loved it. We all cried when he had to leave there to go to "big school".

As to whether or not kids need preschool-- I think mine did. He had never been part of a large group of children before and he needed that experience. I know plenty of kids who didn't go to preschool and did just fine in kindergarten. If you are planning to homeschool, I don't see the point.

If you do decide to look at preschools, though, be wary of the big chains. My mother has worked in in childcare for almost twenty years and I've seen the run of daycare centers. I even worked in a few. The chain childcare centers are held to policies that the directors have no control over. They tend to be much less tolerant of special needs that children have, and they are all about the bottom line. The locally owned and operated centers are much more likely to be accomodating to the individual child.

[momsgotmilk4two]

There aren't any rules for the parents either at our school. I don't think rules like that are common in preschools. I think elementary schools are more likely to be like that about the sibling thing. I've had no problems bringing my younger child to any school function.