Breastfeeding and postpartum « Back to Group Discussions

[Kamiro]

I am going to have our bedroom set up as my hang out place for postpartum and learning to breastfeed.I am going to absolutely FORCE myself (and Dh is going to help) to enjoy a babymoon this time around.

Usually I am up and running around and 'business as usual' within 20 hours of giving birth. I remember I went groc shopping with babe at 24 hours old and this old lady was aghast that I 'escaped from the hospital'. LOL

While it may sound like I have brass ovaries for being so 'tough' the truth is it runs me down terribly by a week to two weeks postpartum and then after the high of the birth and baby I am a hormonal mess due to doing too much too fast and on too little sleep.

SO...

Just general ideas to discuss:

What would you suggest to have stocked/ready for successful feeding/care taking of a newborn? (this can help all of us)

How do you plan for your babymoon? (this will really help me! LOL)

[Astraia]

My second I was up and making dinner the same day he was born. Got groceries the next day, walked the dog the day after that, playgroup on the 4th day.... and at 1 week I developed mastitis and started bleeding heavily and realized, "how i feel is not the only guideline on what I should be doing!"

First: make sure my husband knows he is on older-kid duty- feeding, playing, bedtime (if possible), pretty much everything. He walks the dog, I won't. He gets up with the kids in the morning, I'm not. My first priority is to rest and nurse and bond. If I spend all day in bed the first couple of days, oogling my newborn and counting tiny fingers and toes, so much the better. The best thing for milk supply is rest, rest, rest.

Things to have stocked: meals. No grocery runs the day after baby is born- lots of easy to make/reheat stuff prepped for the freezer, lots of snacky items and/or desserts for when I start feeling crashy and munchy as my blood sugar and appetite figure out what the heck they're doing. Last time I craved pizza and chocolate so badly postpartum-  I don't have pregnancy cravings, I have babymoon cravings and they are INTENSE. Lots of stuff for beverages and smoothies.

Good supply of diapers so no one needs to wash them in the first day or so (ideally!). If you plan to camp out in your bedroom having them in the same room is a great idea! Steady supply of clothes for leaks and blowouts (newborn diapers are so annoyingly leaky, I find!), loose and easy to remove for lots of skin to skin and cuddling. My second baby spent his first week (except for aforementioned outings) wrapped in a loose blanket and kimono style shirt so when I felt the need for cuddles or he wasn't settling I could strip him down and skin to skin.

Lots of pillows. Nipple cream. Changes of clothes for me. Lots of pads for postpartum (I use cloth). Books, magazines, laptop, ipod with music or books on tape. As much as I think a newborn will be all-engaging, I'll get bored and need some "me" time.

Thinking I need to put together some busy-bins for the kids- activities like lacing cards, felt books, small toys, crayons, etc so I can pull them out when they're annoying me or I'm trying to get the baby down for a nap or nursing and can't fix whatever scrape they get themselves into. A different bin per child, enough for a new one every day for a week or something like that so it's not always the same stuff. When I feel stressed I get angry, so something to distract them and reduce my stress level (especially if this kid turns out like the other two and screams constantly if s/he's not nursing for the first 2 months) is necessary.

[cookie_]

I had a terrible time with nursing the first time around (bad latch, then massive thrush infection, followed by mastitis, fun times!) for a full 8 weeks, so my first priority is to try to prevent that this time around. First order of business, try to prevent GBS this time around with probiotics so I don't have to take the antibiotics that caused the thrush. I also ended up having to stay in the hospital for 2 days instead of just 12 hours because I didn't get a full course of antibiotics, so it was a real mess. Although honestly, my hospital stay was quite pleasant: I had a large room to myself with a lovely view of the Hudson River, and there was a separate bed for my husband to stay in and lots of restaurants around to get food from. However, this time around, I have my toddler to think of, so I'm hoping to be in and out of there.

I think this time, I'll have more of a post partum plan in place. My inlaws will be coming in the day the baby is born, so I feel like I'll need to be more protective of my space and one on one time with the new baby. What I really need from them is to help with my toddler, take care of meals and laundry the house etc, but what I'll probably get is them mostly wanting to hold the new baby. Luckily, they'll be staying at a hotel and not with us, but still.

I'm going to have a little diaper/nursing supply station set up in my bedroom, along with some books/ipad stuff for myself for those long/overnight nursing sessions. More diaper covers than I had on hand last time (we use prefolds and covers) so I don't have to rinse them out so often (newborns are leaky!). I refuse to feel the least bit guilty this time around about retreating with the baby into my room and closing the door!  I have a lot of mama friends in the neighborhood who've already told me they're going to take over the amusement of my toddler for the first few weeks, so I think he'll have plenty to keep him occupied and out of the house for a healthy amount each day. (Thank the good lord for good fellow-parent friends who just get it.) Some new books/trains (or whatever he's currently obsessed with) for my toddler. Want very much to spend some one on one time with him in those days too, and assume my MIL will be more than happy to hold and adore the new baby in the other room from time to time so my son can climb into bed with me and read some books and cuddle.

Will have all my post partum herbs procured and mixed before the birth this time, including my sitz herbs and frozen pads. Will have nipple ointments and gel pad nipple thingys on hand in good supply so I'm not sending my husband into the city on urgent errands. My husband is shaping up into quite the wonderful and enthusiastic cook, so I'm depending on him to procure and produce any sudden cravings I might have, haha.

Mostly, remembering to take it easy this time and not feel like I need to get up and prove anything to myself or anyone else! I want to keep in mind that this is my last baby, so I want to savor each moment of those first days. I felt great the first few days pp last time, then totally crashed as the adrenaline and hormones wore off...want to avoid that this time!

[Just1More]

Great thread.

I'm stressing this, too.  Last time, I didn't feel great right off the bat because the brand new sweet baby born at bedtime didn't sleep all night.  Or the next night, or the next night.  And she cried a lot.  It's funny to me because I can look back and see that it was not really normal, but because ds had been so much harder, I didn't think she *really* was.  But, yeah, I got sick, too, with recurrant masitis that lasted on and off until she was a good 7 months old.  My body was so exhausted and run down.  Actually, I still seem to have lingering issues from that.  I wonder if it is an intraductal yeast infection?  Anytime I get tired again, I start getting shooting pains where the mastitis was.  Blah.

So, it is really important to me to have 2 weeks of down time, which is going to be tricky with 4 other kids...who will be 7, 5, 3, and 1.  Everyone but the youngest will have just had their birthdays.  I am planning to put 2 full weeks of food in the freezer, maybe more if I can pull it off.  The two older ones can handle breakfast and lunch on their own if I plan it right, and dd(6) can put a 9x13 prefilled with something in the oven.  So that's the food part.  Play wise?  It will be nice, so I intend to send them all outside.  I'll set up a cozy place for me to be able to keep an eye on them, and that will take up the mornings.  The younger one might need to be with me more, but she'll be okay.  Then they can make lunch, and then it will be quiet time/movie time, and then back outside until dh gets home. 

Grace-I have tried all manner of busy bags for my kids on the many trips we've taken, and new babies and such, and they just never work out for me.  Finally, I got a bunch of shoebox size drawers from Walmart, and filled them with all the various things.  Everything stays very organized, they are easy to get in and out (the drawers pop out, so I don't have to unstack boxes), and the kids have access to a lot of variety.  When they were younger, I would only get things in and out, but now the older two just get whatever they want/need all the time.  Almost all the toys, craft items, busy things (like lacing, or playdoh, or tangrams, or whatever), and all the other little random items that wind up all over a house are in them.  It has been a total lifesaver for me. 

We are moving internationally when the baby is about 6-8 weeks old, so I am trying to get everything I possible can done ahead of time.  Most things are already organized in to those drawers, or larger see-thru bins in our basement.  So, basically, I am organizing in a way that is the same as packing.  We'll still have to deal with minimal blankets, dishes, toys, and clothes, and all the random tons of things that come up at the last minute when moving.  But, whew.  Hopefully, I can just have time to get stronger again.

OH!  And I am going to encapsulate my placenta this time.  I really wished I had last time when I wasn't sleeping and my hormones went all over the map.

[Astraia]

I love the idea of the see-through drawers... my biggest concern is that they'll get into them when I don't want them into them- toys always loose their appeal if they have access to the all day every day (and then I just get stuff strewn all over the place that I then need to pick up). I've pared down our accessible toy amount significantly, which helps a lot, so I'm worried about bringing in more stuff that will be out and about all the time.

This toy thing constantly has me baffled. I thought this part of parenting would be easy but it really, really isn't.

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by cookie_ 
My inlaws will be coming in the day the baby is born, so I feel like I'll need to be more protective of my space and one on one time with the new baby. What I really need from them is to help with my toddler, take care of meals and laundry the house etc, but what I'll probably get is them mostly wanting to hold the new baby. Luckily, they'll be staying at a hotel and not with us, but still.

Have your DH convey this information to them CLEARLY before then.  After he does that, you need to make sure they understand what you need from them, and that what you need is NOT help with the new baby necessarily, but with everything else.  Make up a chore list, and have it handy for not just them but anyone that comes by - post it on the fridge, and they can see clearly what needs to be done.  And once the chores are taken care of, then you go take a shower while they get baby time.  You can also plan a little time with your older child daily when they can take the baby (in another room), so long as they're respectful of the baby's need to nurse/responsive to baby's cues. 

Like many of you, it sounds, I did too much too quickly with DS.  Since I was in labor for so long (5 days), and DH only got 2 weeks off, he went back to work when DS was only a little over a week old.  If he changes jobs again, chances are good that'll be what happens this time too.  But this time I'm going to have support in place. 

First thing I did was make it clear to my MW that I need her to treat me like a FTM when it comes to PP and baby care.  My MW last time really dropped the ball and it got us in a lot of (medical) trouble.  I'm not having a repeat of that.  I need someone to hold my hand on the new baby thing.  I'm also going to have at least 1, possibly 2 pp doulas coming in to help, and an IBCLC on stand-by. 

I've already asked 1 set of grandparents (the ones that aren't in state) to come out in June to help.  Not sure how long they'll be able to stay, but they're going to bring their 5th-wheeler down and park it nearby.  They'll be here at least a week (unless g'ma retires before then, it's up in the air last I heard... then they may stay longer).  I'm going to ask the other 2 sets of grandparents to make it a point to come down here on the weekends (they're both within an hour, but they all have jobs) and spend some time with DS, maybe on a rotating schedule with a few friends so he gets some time every week.  I'm also going to ask them to hire a housekeeper to come in every week or 2 weeks for the 4th trimester.  DH will be taking a sabbatical from school until July at the least, so he can handle the dishes, and the housekeeper can do the rest.  I've thought about asking my grandmother to come down for a stay, but she won't leave her dog behind, and she's not welcome here. 

DS has therapy every day during the week (5 hours/day), so that will be time I'll be able to have to myself with the baby while DH is at work.  And if DH stays with the company he's with now, they've agreed to let him work remotely, so he'll be doing that regularly as well. 

I'm going to have a mother's blessing instead of a "shower" (I didn't have anything last time), and have it be a "feed the freezer party" where everyone brings a freezer-ready dish.  I'm also going to plan on having a case of hot cereal prepped (It's about 5-6 breakfasts worth per jar), so DH can dump in the crock pot, add water/milk and it'll be ready in the AM.  I'm already stocking up on pre-made pastas from the refrigerator case, which DH can handle making, and I'm going to do some other stuff for the freezer also.  I have 2 chest freezers downstairs, and I'm planning on filling 1 of them with pre-made food for pp.  The other one will have our normal complement of frozen fruits, and raw meats.  DH can follow simple directions for food prep, and between his paternity leave and his working remotely, I'm planning on leaving food prep up to him for the most part, for the first month.  I'll have things like sausage and pancake mix on hand for DS' breakfast, and bread for sandwiches for lunch. 

I'm still debating on placenta encapsulation.  My MW will do it for me, but I feel a little weird about it.  DS1's placenta was planted in the front yard.  DS' is still in the freezer, but I want to plant it.  I feel a little weird thinking about encapsulating this one when the other 2 will be planted.  I know I had PPD with DS, but I suspect a LOT of that had to do with our BFing problems, and I know a good deal of it had to do with DS1, so I have no way of knowing what to expect this time. 

And right now we're having our deck refinished so that it's child-safe.  We've never been able to use our backyard with DS because the deck is just not safe (it's a 6 foot drop to the ground).  So that'll be done in another week or so (if it stops raining).  Then we'll be able to use our backyard this summer so DS won't be stuck inside just because I'm not up to packing 2 kids to the park/beach.  And then DS will be in preschool starting around his 3rd birthday (in September). 

As far as set-up, I haven't figured that out yet.  I still don't know where this LO will be sleeping. 

[forestmushroom]

I am loving a spring baby since there will be (the start of anyway) what I call "Fresh and easy season."  We don't cook a whole lot because there is So much yummy fresh stuff in season... so I will probably have some stuff on hand, in the freezer, it doesn't take much time to dump rice in the rice cooker, and steam some veggies on top...

Just something to keep in mind! 

I am hiring a postpartum doula this time.  I haven't found family to be terribly reliable and besides my sister, every other family members' concept of "help" is not the same as mine.  So a doula will come for a few hours a week for 4 weeks after baby is born... and then maybe still after that, depending on what is going on.

I've found that it is helpful to set up stations--like next to your bed have a hug bottle of water, a snack, and a book/ TV remote.  I also stock up on DVDs to watch during the late night nursing session...  and TV shows on DVD are my favorite since I don't have the sustained attention for a full on movie, but if I want I can watch 2 episodes of a show...

So have a station like this in the bedroom, and living room... or a basket with your stuff that someone can easily bring to you.  So many times I sit down to nurse and become suddenly *super* thirsty... or hungry... or bored ... a nursing pillow or other pillow is helpful to have handy, too!  Especially if your muscles aren't used to holding a baby in nursing position... I found having towels rolled up and little various pillows so helpful because I didn't realize that certain muscles would positively ache. 

Since I often work at the computer nursing my 2 yo I don't imagine really taking much time off work, either... but that is largely sitting on my butt in front of the computer... so I might take some time off... but not more then a month. 

My oldest kids will likely spend a long weekend/week with my sister as soon as they get out of school at the end of June, so that will be nice!  And possibly my DD, too...

[BubbleMa]

Originally Posted by Astraia 

My second I was up and making dinner the same day he was born. Got groceries the next day, walked the dog the day after that, playgroup on the 4th day.... and at 1 week I developed mastitis and started bleeding heavily and realized, "how i feel is not the only guideline on what I should be doing!"

First: make sure my husband knows he is on older-kid duty- feeding, playing, bedtime (if possible), pretty much everything. He walks the dog, I won't. He gets up with the kids in the morning, I'm not. My first priority is to rest and nurse and bond. If I spend all day in bed the first couple of days, oogling my newborn and counting tiny fingers and toes, so much the better. The best thing for milk supply is rest, rest, rest.

Things to have stocked: meals. No grocery runs the day after baby is born- lots of easy to make/reheat stuff prepped for the freezer, lots of snacky items and/or desserts for when I start feeling crashy and munchy as my blood sugar and appetite figure out what the heck they're doing. Last time I craved pizza and chocolate so badly postpartum-  I don't have pregnancy cravings, I have babymoon cravings and they are INTENSE. Lots of stuff for beverages and smoothies.

Good supply of diapers so no one needs to wash them in the first day or so (ideally!). If you plan to camp out in your bedroom having them in the same room is a great idea! Steady supply of clothes for leaks and blowouts (newborn diapers are so annoyingly leaky, I find!), loose and easy to remove for lots of skin to skin and cuddling. My second baby spent his first week (except for aforementioned outings) wrapped in a loose blanket and kimono style shirt so when I felt the need for cuddles or he wasn't settling I could strip him down and skin to skin.

Lots of pillows. Nipple cream. Changes of clothes for me. Lots of pads for postpartum (I use cloth). Books, magazines, laptop, ipod with music or books on tape. As much as I think a newborn will be all-engaging, I'll get bored and need some "me" time.

Thinking I need to put together some busy-bins for the kids- activities like lacing cards, felt books, small toys, crayons, etc so I can pull them out when they're annoying me or I'm trying to get the baby down for a nap or nursing and can't fix whatever scrape they get themselves into. A different bin per child, enough for a new one every day for a week or something like that so it's not always the same stuff. When I feel stressed I get angry, so something to distract them and reduce my stress level (especially if this kid turns out like the other two and screams constantly if s/he's not nursing for the first 2 months) is necessary.

This sounds good to me!  I definitely need a babymoon this time!  With DD we had constant people in and out and none of them were helpful.  Not even my ExH.  I was doing everything as soon as we got home from the hospital. 

Luckily, SO is very helpful and attentive.  :)  And DD is pretty self sufficient.  She can make herself simple things to eat, get herself bathed, do her laundry, etc.  The only thing I'll really need SO to do for her is to get her on the bus in the mornings, and make her lunches.  I'm going to insist that his kids not come for at least 2 weeks though, preferably 4 or more.  That probably sounds mean, but they're a lot to handle and frankly, they stress me out.  They fight with each other, hurt each other, argue, complain, whine, etc.  Blah.  I don't want to have to deal with all of that, and I don't want SO to have to either.  So, I'm going to be mean step-mommy.  It shouldn't really be a problem anyway, since they'll still be in school at that point.

My mom and sisters want to come down to visit, but they're 14 hrs away so it's not like they can hop in the car and come over.  Their visit has to be more planned.  Which is fine by me.  I really want a quiet house for the first 2 weeks so we decided they can come down at the end of May.  SO's family is closer, but they don't have boundary issues, so I'd be fine with having them over in the first couple weeks.  I know they'd come, oogle the baby and go.  And it's only his mom and his sister and her family, so two sets of visitors isn't too bad.  I think I can handle that.

The only thing I'm not sure about is DD's 10th birthday.  Her birthday is April 30, baby is due May 7th.  We don't do big parties every year, but 10 is big!  I'd love to do a nice party for her, with all her friends.  Especially since she doesn't get one every year.  I just don't know how I'm going to swing it. 

[Astraia]

Originally Posted by Just1More 

So, it is really important to me to have 2 weeks of down time, which is going to be tricky with 4 other kids...who will be 7, 5, 3, and 1.  Everyone but the youngest will have just had their birthdays.  I am planning to put 2 full weeks of food in the freezer, maybe more if I can pull it off. 

We are moving internationally when the baby is about 6-8 weeks old, so I am trying to get everything I possible can done ahead of time.  Most things are already organized in to those drawers, or larger see-thru bins in our basement.  So, basically, I am organizing in a way that is the same as packing.  We'll still have to deal with minimal blankets, dishes, toys, and clothes, and all the random tons of things that come up at the last minute when moving.  But, whew.  Hopefully, I can just have time to get stronger again.

OH!  And I am going to encapsulate my placenta this time.  I really wished I had last time when I wasn't sleeping and my hormones went all over the map.

Having birthdays like that sounds fabulous! Little ducklings all in a row? 2 weeks of freezer meals would be fabulous. I'm PLANNING for 2 weeks, but I suck at follow through so I'll be lucky if I pull off a few days.

Moving internationally... wow! Good for you! The idea of moving any time between now and baby's first birthday seems like way, way too much to think of. Hopefully nesting translates easily into packing?

Originally Posted by cristeen 

I'm going to have a mother's blessing instead of a "shower" (I didn't have anything last time), and have it be a "feed the freezer party" where everyone brings a freezer-ready dish.  I'm also going to plan on having a case of hot cereal prepped (It's about 5-6 breakfasts worth per jar), so DH can dump in the crock pot, add water/milk and it'll be ready in the AM. 

I'm still debating on placenta encapsulation.  My MW will do it for me, but I feel a little weird about it.  DS1's placenta was planted in the front yard.  DS' is still in the freezer, but I want to plant it.  I feel a little weird thinking about encapsulating this one when the other 2 will be planted.  I know I had PPD with DS, but I suspect a LOT of that had to do with our BFing problems, and I know a good deal of it had to do with DS1, so I have no way of knowing what to expect this time. 

And right now we're having our deck refinished so that it's child-safe.  We've never been able to use our backyard with DS because the deck is just not safe (it's a 6 foot drop to the ground).  So that'll be done in another week or so (if it stops raining).  Then we'll be able to use our backyard this summer so DS won't be stuck inside just because I'm not up to packing 2 kids to the park/beach.  And then DS will be in preschool starting around his 3rd birthday (in September). 

As far as set-up, I haven't figured that out yet.  I still don't know where this LO will be sleeping. 

I love the feed the freezer blessing way- that sounds awesome! What's the difference between a blessing and a shower (other than the type of gifts you might get)? People at work and a friend of mine are both talking about doing some sort of a shower, and I think something for the freezer - especially given my follow-through issues- would be wonderful.

Placenta encapsulation- dont' think of it as being JUST for PPD. It's also good for hormonal balancing, slowing bleeding, helping your uterus contract, milk supply, etc etc.

Having a good backyard will be awesome! Our backyard is teeny teeny tiny, but fenced at least, and I'm so looking forward to spending time outside again.
 

Originally Posted by forestmushroom 

I am loving a spring baby since there will be (the start of anyway) what I call "Fresh and easy season."  We don't cook a whole lot because there is So much yummy fresh stuff in season... so I will probably have some stuff on hand, in the freezer, it doesn't take much time to dump rice in the rice cooker, and steam some veggies on top...

I've found that it is helpful to set up stations--like next to your bed have a hug bottle of water, a snack, and a book/ TV remote.  I also stock up on DVDs to watch during the late night nursing session...  and TV shows on DVD are my favorite since I don't have the sustained attention for a full on movie, but if I want I can watch 2 episodes of a show...

So have a station like this in the bedroom, and living room... or a basket with your stuff that someone can easily bring to you.  So many times I sit down to nurse and become suddenly *super* thirsty... or hungry... or bored ... a nursing pillow or other pillow is helpful to have handy, too!  Especially if your muscles aren't used to holding a baby in nursing position... I found having towels rolled up and little various pillows so helpful because I didn't realize that certain muscles would positively ache.

I love the idea of stations- and I especially love the idea of a basket. A station would get mixed up in our normal clutter so fast, but if it was a basket I could easily directed my husband to go find it and bring it down, rather than asking for a number of specific items if I'm tied to the couch or bed. Pillows and blankets are definitely worth while. I always have this idea in my head that I'll just do cradle hold- but no. Newborns, for me, always need to be football. And I'm never prepared for that! I forgot about the achy arms.

I also deleted the part where you said family isn't reliable- mine isn't either, but in weird ways. My family- my parents, siblings- are not useful or helpful, very focued on their own problems OR can't make it down for a long enough trip to make it worth while. My husband's family would be over-the-top helpful if I asked them to be, but they're so worried about stepping on toes that they don't offer, and I really suck at asking for help so I never do.

Sarah- for your DD's birthday- could you enlist the help of your SO's family to help organize a party? Or have htem in charge of food, decorations, something like that so you're not prepping it all yourself? I love the idea of only doing "big" parties on big numbers and I'm sure it would be a lot of fun, but I wouldn't want to do it all either!

[poppyseed2012]

This is such a helpful thread, especially for a first time mom!

Are there any other things that you experienced mamas would do differently the first time around?

Also, what is placenta encapsulation?

[maryamrose]

placenta encapsulation is preparing the placenta (usually by steaming, dehydrating, and grinding, but can also be done raw) and filling capsules with it. it's full of different minerals and nutrients and is supposed to help with hormonal balance and to prevent post-partum depression. there are many hypotheses as to why placental mammals eat their placentas shortly after birth: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Placentophagy

I'm doing it, mostly because I don't see the harm in it and I've heard great stories about how much it has helped people. whether they felt good because of taking the placenta pills, a placebo effect, or potentially having a more positive birth experience, I don't know.

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by Astraia 

I love the feed the freezer blessing way- that sounds awesome! What's the difference between a blessing and a shower (other than the type of gifts you might get)? People at work and a friend of mine are both talking about doing some sort of a shower, and I think something for the freezer - especially given my follow-through issues- would be wonderful.

Placenta encapsulation- dont' think of it as being JUST for PPD. It's also good for hormonal balancing, slowing bleeding, helping your uterus contract, milk supply, etc etc.

The big difference between a shower and a blessing is in the atmosphere.  Most showers are more silly, with games, and prizes and the like.  Concentrating mostly on the baby.  A mother's blessing is focused on the mother, not really any games, but maybe sharing of advice, I'm hoping to get a henna artist out for mine - I really want my belly henna'd this time, it's my last chance (our last baby).  There's still food, but it's a totally different atmosphere, in my mind. 

As for the encapsulation - slowing bleeding isn't a concern for me.  With both boys I bled maybe a week, and spotted for another few days past that.  I didn't have the heavy bleeding many people do.  The hormonal balancing is part of the PPD though.  I'm just having a really hard time wrapping my mind about doing it this time when the other 2 will be planted in the yard.  Mommy guilt. 

[MeredithA]

Originally Posted by cristeen 

I'm just having a really hard time wrapping my mind about doing it this time when the other 2 will be planted in the yard.  Mommy guilt. 

What about planting a part of new baby's placenta in the yard and encapsulating part of it? That way new baby isn't "left out" when it comes to the yard and you still might be able to get a couple weeks of pills encapsulated. 

I am encapsulating my placenta this time & am really looking forward to it. I found an encapsulation specialist that comes to the house 24-28 hours after the birth and does it all right in my kitchen. 
 

[lightheartedmom]

This is such a good thread!! Thanks! I'm bookmarking it to discuss with dh as we get closer to d-day since it addresses a lot of my concerns.
With dd2, I was out and about fast (or so I thought! I went grocery shopping a few days post partum, but not 24 hrs!!). Whenever it was, it was too soon. I was sore and tired longer.

This time I would say I have a lot of anxiety about this stuff, partly because our support system is so lacking...MIL will most likely watch 1&2 while we're at the hospital but I don't really trust her...she's not respectful of our choices at all and is not very careful or in touch with the kids and I am afraid I'll be worrying constantly while I'm in labor. I don't know anyone else who can watch the kids overnight (that I'd trust more...)...blah.

Anyway...plan is to come home as soon as we can after delivery, 24 hrs or less depending on how things go. I'm planning on having lots of meals frozen and hopefully a well-stocked fridge and then dh will fill in as primary caregiver for the kids while baby and I bond, nurse, recover and sleep. He's always good about this and I have no worries in this respect and I'm so thankful that at least I can always rely on him.

My hard and fast post partum rule though is - no visitors! No "seeing the baby" no drop-ins, pop-ins or potlucks. I don't care who you are, unless you're dropping a casserole or a bag of groceries off on the front step and leaving, I'm not entertaining any one for any reason. (there might be two friends who'd be am exception to this rule but they both live far away)
I know it sounds awful and insensitive but that's how it is. In my mind, the first few weeks post partum are a sacred time for family bonding and since our culture (or at least my family circle) does not share or even respect that belief, I simply don't roll out the welcome mat for those weeks.
Plus even on baby 3, I'm bothered by having lots of people and their germs around my new baby that early. ;-)
For us, this rule keeps things simple and easy and allows us to focus on assimilating the new baby into our daily family life and adjusting sleep schedules and breastfeeding etc. I know a lot of moms are blessed to have super supportive families and in-laws and I would be overjoyed if that were the case for us, but our families are pretty self-absorbed (it's sort of always about them...) so we work with what we have.

So that's basically my babymoon plan. I want to spend lots of time snuggled up in bed with one, two or all of my kids and dh, eat comfort food and survive the first few weeks of chapped nipples and endless poopie diapers.

Things to have on hand? Changing stations in each room you plan on spending time, a basket of distractions for your older kids for when baby is glued to your boob, snacks for you and everyone else (washed veggies and fruits in the fridge, cheese, etc), water bottles!

Again - totally great thread.

[poppyseed2012]

I'm so excited because we are family friends with three sisters who all do henna. The hope is to have them over for the shower. They would do my belly the night before and then come to the shower and do little designs on people's hands. I really, really hope this works out. I think henna art time would me much more fun than a game!
 

Originally Posted by cristeen 

The big difference between a shower and a blessing is in the atmosphere.  Most showers are more silly, with games, and prizes and the like.  Concentrating mostly on the baby.  A mother's blessing is focused on the mother, not really any games, but maybe sharing of advice, I'm hoping to get a henna artist out for mine - I really want my belly henna'd this time, it's my last chance (our last baby).  There's still food, but it's a totally different atmosphere, in my mind. 

[cookie_]

Astraia's tale reminds me of how during my first pregnancy, I took a prenatal yoga class with this woman who was having her 3rd baby. She stopped by the class a week or so after the baby was born (she had a homebirth), and I will never forget how she was so nonchalant about it, "oh my midwife got there and I had the baby in the living room, and then an hour or so later, we all got up and I put the newborn in the moby and we took my two older children to the playground."

I think most of us first-timers probably looked a bit aghast at the thought of giving birth then heading out to a city playground a few hours later, because my yoga teacher was like, please don't feel like you need to do that! It's totally ok for you to stay inside and nurse and lay on the bed or the couch for several days!

[JynxGirl]

I have about ten million fears regarding my postpartum period. :( 

With my daughter, she spent so long in the NICU, that I never really HAD a newborn. Her first two weeks were completely separated from me. I was in one hospital and she was in another. I had a C-section and then a really bad hemmorage. The nurses kept me so sedated that I really don't remember much except for bits and pieces. 

I am planning to lay down ground rules with family and friends about what we really will need, which is help with my older daughter and around the house. I get wanting to play "hold the new baby" but in the first week or two, I really need to just bond and hold and snuggle my own son... Is this unreasonable?

Cristeen - What are your hot breakfast packs? You've mentioned them a couple times now and I am just so curious!!!!

[CorgiMommy]

Well DD was premature but healthy, so I had to stop and go shopping after I got out of hospital as I had no premature clothes - and no one else to do it for me.

With DS I was very lucky and had a huge baby boy that I needed to show off to the world, was out of hopital at 7am the next morning and we went around to the entire family to show him off.  I had a painfull stitch but he nursed really well and that made my life so much easier - no bottles to worry about.

I am hoping things will be the same this time around, we will probly just go around to some family after leaving the hospital.  The older genaration mostly.  Then we will come home, and LOADS of peple will rock up, as is tradition ' to see the baby'. As this is DH first child and the first son to be born ( a big deal) I am expecting loads of visitors and will just stock up on wine and snacks beforehand o make life easier.  DH will be off for 8 weeks after the delivery as well so he can take kids to school and so on, he always cooks and is more than capable to look after the dogs as well.

O and I forgot to mention that I will most likely be having a litter of GSD puppies as my champion bitch will most likely be coming into season during March.  So that will put a stop to any visitors after she delivers them.

I have one question:  What is it with eating the placenta and making capsules out of this.  I do not mean to offend anyones believes, but that is so foraign to me and I would like to know.

[cristeen]

Originally Posted by JynxGirl 

I have about ten million fears regarding my postpartum period. :( 

I am planning to lay down ground rules with family and friends about what we really will need, which is help with my older daughter and around the house. I get wanting to play "hold the new baby" but in the first week or two, I really need to just bond and hold and snuggle my own son... Is this unreasonable?

Cristeen - What are your hot breakfast packs? You've mentioned them a couple times now and I am just so curious!!!!

I have a lot of fears, too.  PP was so difficult with DS because of our BFing issues (that I didn't know about).  I had no idea we were even having problems and the reason he spent so much time crying was because he was literally starving - I just thought I had a fussy baby and that I was incapable of handling it.  We all missed those cues (including my MW).  At 18 days we realized he'd been losing an ounce a day in body weight, and switched him to formula.  By the time we found out what the cause was, at 6 weeks, my milk was gone.  Mix in all the emotions dealing with another little boy, and never having gotten past the grief of losing DS1, and it was a mess.  And I had no help at all.  So that's why I'm being really anal about planning this time around.

As for my hot breakfast, it's a mixed (whole) grain hot cereal.  Probably not something you could handle, since it's pretty much pure carbs.  But it's quick and easy and filling.  The original recipe was wild rice, barley, bulgar and steel cut oats.  I usually make it GF with wild rice, oats, buckwheat and quinoa.  With dried fruit.  Once it's prepped though, just dump it into the crockpot, add about 2 quarts of liquid (I use half milk half water), and set it to low overnight.  DH cracks an egg into the bottom of his bowl and dumps the cereal over it for the extra protein.  Then I pack the excess into pint jars and pop them in the fridge.  Refill the crockpot with water, and each night a jar (or 2) goes into the crockpot set to low and by morning the cereal is piping hot and ready to eat.  It's a week's worth of breakfasts with 10 minutes of work (packing the jars with the cooked cereal and cleaning the crockpot).  If I do a whole case (12 quarts) of the dry mix ahead of time, that's pretty much 3 months worth of breakfasts ready to go.  And the work to prep 12 jars is not really any more than prepping 1. 

I have other options for quick make ahead breakfasts, but they're not "make way ahead and DH can take it from there" - they're more along the lines of "you hold the baby for 20 minutes while I get this in the oven".  Although if your DH cooks, he could probably handle either one easily enough.  I do egg custards (egg, cream, honey, fruit) or egg muffins (egg, meat/veg/cheese) - a week's worth at once, stick them in the fridge and eat them cold.  By varying the fruit/spices/extracts or meat/veg/cheese, you can avoid boredom from week to week.  And neither one requires much more than a little chopping, scrambling some eggs and popping into the oven. 

[Just1More]

Wow.  I've missed a lot.

I keep thinking about posting to Grace, though, and saying that when my kids were smaller, I kept all the drawers in my master bedroom closet.  They couldn't get to them, and I could easily run in, pop out a drawer and dump it in a basket, and plop the toys in front of them.  When they started getting bored with that, we could clean that up, and I could run in and quickly switch.  We had a family closet in the laundry room, so that left my closet free for things like that.

I am starting to put things in the freezer now.  When I make a freezable meal (or even muffins, or whatever), I am trying to make a double batch.  That way I have things to pull out now when I don't feel like cooking, and also can build up that stash a little at a time. 

Corgi- I so want to be a dog trainer.  I sometimes feel like I missed my calling.  We travel and move so much, and well, I have 4 going on 5 little kids, that it's hard to start anything.  I am hoping that someday when we settle down, I can at least be a puppy raiser for service dogs.  I know this it totally OT, but I'd love if you could PM me with ways to get my foot in the door.  I've also been thinking, if there was some way to get enough experience, credentials (I don't even know where to start?), I like to just run a "train your puppy" service from my home.  I'd offer to take the pup for a week or two and teach it the basics.  Does that sound crazy?  What would I need to do that?  The idea of a whole litter of well-bred GSD...wow.  (We got a golden retriever/black lab mix after having a gsd/border collie/black lab mix, and the lack of drive.  Wow.  I understand now why people don't train their dogs.  My last dog as a puppy was, uhm...well, a total understatment to say "energetic".  Anyway, I really, really miss that drive and energy.)  Anyway, sorry for the OT.

Cristeen's hot cereal sounds like what dh often has for breakfast, though he doesn't make it ahead.  He just cooks oatmeal on the stovetop.  Then, he puts in a large handful (that he premixes in a baggie) of flax seed, dried fruit, and several kinds of nuts.  He adds some olive oil.  He says it's great, and gives him tons of energy all morning.