I'm half white and half Native American. I've spent my whole life hearing comments like, "You're white, since your skin's so pale. But what ELSE are you?" People never seemed comfortable not being able to put me in one category, although my paler skin makes it a bit easier to pigeonhole me.
My ex-husband is African-American. But our son looks exactly like me with a tan. I'm proud of all of his heritage, just as I'm proud of mine. Usually, when it's just my son and me, people assume we're white. If they bother taking a closer look, they do a double-take. Mostly, though, it's not a real issue. Our society has come a long way since I was a kid. We're definitely nowhere near all the way there, but I see some progress.
When it's only us, I hear constantly that he's gorgeous. People joke that we should set up an arranged marriage with their daughters. Honestly, the emphasis on his looks makes me a bit uncomfortable. I usually respond with something like "He's so nice/smart/creative, too!" Because that's what's most important, you know?
Here's the problem. My boyfriend has four biracial children (half black and half white) who all fit the stereotypical biracial mold. Light skin, curly/lighter hair, etc. When we all hang out together, people look at my son as though he doesn't fit, or they don't notice him at all. And it bugs the hell out of me because I've always been "different" and I don't want him to have those feelings..
There was one time I took my boyfriend's two youngest and mine to a mall. Everyone fell all over themselves complimenting my boyfriend's kids (who are gorgeous, mind you), but they didn't say a word about my son. I don't expect him to be adored wherever we go - I'd rather it not happen at all to ANY of the kids. They all have so many more important talents/traits! But I do worry that experiences like this will set him up to feel less attractive than the other kids because he's lighter. Or that they will set up the other kids to feel superior because they're more obviously biracial.
Did any of that make any sense?