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poverty - Page 5

post #81 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apples12 View Post



In Hawaii that actually sounds like a 'bargain'. There are other parts of the United States where rent can easily be $1200 and that's for getting nothing special either.



I agree, not that that makes it any easier to afford if you just don't have the funds though.  Here in New England my paltry $895 for rent is the cheapest I've ever paid.  And I live on the border of a not-so-nice area and paid more in another even worse area at our old house.  MOST places here are about $1000-1200 for an average apartment or condo.  We live in a side-by-side duplex in a shady section of our town and my kids go to a Title 1 school.  Our neighbor two doors down is a smack addict and the girl around the corner is a prostitute.  And you have to be careful where the kids play in the park 1 block away from our house because of all the glass working it's way up from the grass after years of broken bottles and vandalism.  :(  So that gives you an idea of how cheap my rent is considering.  

post #82 of 133

But on the brighter side, tax money came in Wednesday.  My middle child is rockin some cute new sneakers that she desperately needed.  I found an $8 shirt at Aeropostale for my oldest daughter and she's in HEAVEN wearing it. And I'm feeling really blessed because my littlest girl is home sick right now and I'll be refilling her albuterol tonight for free with our medicaid.  I'm obviously not thrilled she's sick and wheezy and we'll be seeing the doctor this weekend but I'm feeling so blessed that the $1200 worth of meds she takes per month are not a worry on my mind about affording.  Everytime I break out the "sick" meds I feel so grateful for our medicaid.  And because our tax money came in and I was lucky enough to be able to pay off all my debt last year, I have a little extra money this year for fun stuff.  My sister's wedding is next month and I'm able to give her a generous monetary gift for her and my BIL to make their lives a little easier.  Feels really good to be able to be in that position for once.

post #83 of 133

we are struggling my husband is a disabled vet...we get a paycheck from the VA my husband is 90% disabled from the VA but it only covers our rent and utilities and gas for the month. So while we do have the roof over our heads covered and utilities we dont have food covered for the entire month and if someone needs something else financially we struggle. My husband does have a "job" but he's severely underemployed and it helps us with food. We just barely make too much for food stamps like by dollars. My husbands job is also temporary so after that we'll be on them. We are also a family of 8 and we live well below our means. We live in an extremely small house etc. We are fortunate enough to have insurance through the military but it came with a lot of sacrifice and so did that VA check...we keep getting denied for disability from the federal government even though my husband has serious injuries/illness from serving (TBI,PTSD, Major back injuries and other illnesses) basically the gov sends the denial letters and says its because my husband has a college education right in the letter and because of his job experience he had in the military...is this a WTF moment for you reading it like it is for me? yeah I thought so too, because you are educated you couldnt possibly be disabled forget the fact that you have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and a ton of other injuries/illness. Oh boy. I totally get the whole thing where people say they are struggling but they have a ton of CRAP. We have almost no debt, and can barely feed ourselves...most people I know are struggling because they have debt. They have good jobs,good health,etc etc. their debt on credit cards is why they are hurting because most of them that I know are busy buying material things new cars,houses,clothing they dont genuinely need ,eating out excessively etc. I can barely feed my kids some months...dont talk to me about struggling seriously. I feel seriously sad for all of you who cant even afford your rent and utilities even. I am so frustrated to not be able to provide other basic needs for me and my kids. I dont have dental anymore and I need a really bad wisdom tooth pulled and all kinds of crap. to keep military dental we needed 100$ a month now, we dont have it. I hate living this way its so hard to accept and I know some of you are worse off than even us and I cant even imagine. I wish I could change things for all of us :-(

post #84 of 133

I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!

post #85 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahart View Post

I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!


I am so sorry mamahart! I have been there and it is so hard. Please find a way to calm yourself even a little. Even if it is to lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and take deep breaths or finds some awesome music and move your body to burn some anxiety. I have been to the point that I was actually having heart palpitations because of stress. It can be really serious and your can't help anyone in that condition. PLEASE find a way to take care of yourself. Take a walk if the weather is decent. Something! Big hugs and lots of love to you and your family!!!
 

 

post #86 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mom31 View Post

So boyfriend cooked a big ham for me on Sunday and now we have lots of ham- can I just throw it in a bag and freeze some of it?  He really bailed me out.  The kids love it- he has done it for us before... so sweet. Any recipes for cooked sliced ham?


We put ham in egg-bakes: Eggs, cheese, veggies, ham (if we have it), milk (if we have it) - mix, put into a glass dish and freeze until time to bake. We make two or three at a time.

Ham is also great for sandwiches. Try a ham-salad (like egg or tuna salad) to stretch it out.

We also just eat ham as a small meat with large (cheap) sides.

I love to use leftover meat for hot sandwiches: make a bit of stock with the hambone and use some of that to make ham gravy, some mashed potatoes and a few slices of bread. Throw a veggie on the side and it is a nutritious, easy, cheap and very filling meal.
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrsSlocombe View Post

Mom31, I think if you do a reasonable job estimating how much detergent is on the towels, it will work.  If the entire contents of the big bottle go in the wash, the load will need some extra rinses, at the very least.  That must have been so frustrating!  :-(

 

I am wondering what you guys do for socializing and fun.  My budget has been cut to near-poverty levels recently, due to income loss and medical expenses incurred.  (Our income was never actually high, but it was once lower-middle class.)  This does not mean that I am in the exact same position as each of you, but I am currently thinking below an ordinary "frugal" level.  I am genuinely worried about how the next couple of years will go, with reduced income, mortgage payments, and the baby (coming in June).  One thing I would like to do is network with parents who share our lifestyle (happens to be vegan) so that we can share information and our babies can be friends, but while in the old days, I might try to find other vegan Moms to meet at a coffee shop, that is no longer within my budget.  We sometimes entertain close friends at home, and that will continue to be an option, though we are not really set up for large groups, and our dining room furniture is uncomfortable even for us, just because it is old, unpadded, and comes from a time when people were smaller.  Replacing this furniture was once a thought;  it no longer is.  I'm a little embarrassed about it, and it keeps me from having larger groups or newer, less close friends over.

Do you have any fun ideas for socializing with either good friends or new people, on a poverty budget?

 

 


Board games. You can get some for cheap, and if each family/couple gets one different game, you can have several games to play between you all.

 

******************************
We are just barely in this stage now. We have enough to get through the month, but saving money is a joke. It seems like we get a bit ahead and something happens to trash the savings idea. I have a degree and DH is working on his. Daycare and housing costs are insane, and we live in a cheap area (we are rent-to-owning my parent's house for $400/mo, daycare is over $5k/yr). We have "treats" a few times a month - and I'm talking about ice cream or eating out for a b-day/anniversary. But eating out daily? We could NEVER do that. I know people who go to the bars all the time and I'm like, how do you afford daycare PLUS the cost of buying drinks at a BAR?!?

 

Our biggest expenses are travel for the store events, and travel for family get-togethers. Fortunately, my parents are willing to help when stuff gets to be a bit too much. I am currently paying them back for their most recent loan ($500). They are great about stuff like that because I don't ask for too much or act ungrateful for it (like my brother does).

 

My parents are also EXTREMELY generous with holiday/b-day gifts, and we get to ask for what we want. I ask for things that are practical: a gun for DH so he can go hunting (meat!!), a snow-blower, etc. They decided they didn't need their huge gas grill anymore, so I'm getting that for a late b-day gift. My other b-day gift was a refurbished snow-blower. They are used stuff, but we are talking about $500/each new, so I'm not complaining AT ALL.

 

I do NOT buy my kids toys except for one each at the holidays/b-days. My parents like to spend money on them, so they get plenty. And I pick gifts that are well-thought-out. Each year, my one little gift has been the favorite gift.

 

We are splurging with our tax returns this year and buying an electric tiller. We plan on turning the majority of the backyard into a huge garden. We have little time and not very green thumbs, but I figure we can get something out of it and involve the kids, too.

post #87 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahart View Post

I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!



I agree that you need to take some time for you.  What calms you?  What do you enjoy?  Can you put the kids down to bed a few minutes early and give yourself a pedicure?  I'm ALWAYS in a better mood when my toes are colorful.  Get some exercise and move your body.  Take the kids for a walk, go for a hike.  When I get beyond stressed and angry and anxious I try to get out for a run.  Running with my ipod at full blast makes my stress melt away.  Something about an hour of just my breathing, my heartrate, my music, and a lot of sweat always makes life look better.  If you need to make life normal for the kids, why not take them outside to the park or the playground?  Play on the monkey bars.  Go down the slide(I always fall off the end.  I don't know how the kids catch themselves).  Instead of pushign them on the swings, make them push you.  Or get them going and get on your own swing.  Did you know swinging is a neurological soother?  Fact.  It's oddly calming and soothing.  Is there a place to swim near you?  Somewhere free obviously.  Swimming and being in water is calming to most people.  Even if you can't muster the energy to leave the house, maybe making a batch of cookies with the kids would help or doing a "spa party" where you all soak your feet in warm soapy water and paint toenails would be a blast.  That would accomplish some calming vibes and give the kids a bit of your time and love to normalize things for them.  Since your husband is home maybe he could play a board game with the kids or read them some books or take them outside for a little while so you can get some time to yourself to read or take a bath.  Work within your limits, do what you can.  Taking your mind off your situation even just for an hour can help relieve the intense pressure on you and maybe get you to see the situation in a better light and find a new solution you hadn't thought of.  It will give you perspective hopefully.  

post #88 of 133

Thank you justmama.  I sort of made it through a tough moment and can breath now.  We potentially are getting taxes back soon and we actually went out for our 10th anniversary to a little local circus guild event that doesn't cost much and it felt so SO good to be in the real world with cute shoes on.

Not to mention that my husband has work EVERYDAY this week which is awesome.  I got an appt for help with my electricity bill and for right now I feel very hopeful.

Thanks for having a place I can be scared- one of the hardest parts is being "OK" for my kids as much as I can.  It's tiring.

Take care now.

post #89 of 133

We are so stinking poor I can't take it anymore. DH hours just got cut and he's making $1500 a month net. He is also a FT student so I can't work opposite of him. (I was laid off when pregnant with DD) I'm in my 3rd trimester with number 2 now (I don't want to talk about it).

 

We can't make ends meet. We can't afford to pay all of our bills and we really are down to bare minimum. No cell phones. No cable. (we need internet for DHs school work, no library) one car (no public transportation).

 

Our foodstamps worker sucks and still hasn't accepted my pregnancy and we get $160 a month right now :( I want to rip my hair out.

post #90 of 133

SS09- are you guys getting WIC?  You should be eligible for your DD and the pregnancy package.  Thats ALOT of food, even if you and the kids have food allergies your DH can eat the stuff.  WIC now has veggies, grains, as well as the usual dairy and beans/PB and juice.

 

You need to kick some sense into your DES case worker.  I would be calling over there every friggin day until I got someone on the phone!

post #91 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post

SS09- are you guys getting WIC?  You should be eligible for your DD and the pregnancy package.  Thats ALOT of food, even if you and the kids have food allergies your DH can eat the stuff.  WIC now has veggies, grains, as well as the usual dairy and beans/PB and juice.

 

You need to kick some sense into your DES case worker.  I would be calling over there every friggin day until I got someone on the phone!



Called 5x yesterday and it won't go to an operator or an answering machine. (her direct line or the main line!) The whole office SUCKS. It's in the city, they closed the town one we went to and had no issues with...

 

DD has food allergies and I'm nursing her so I can't eat the food either, Dairy, eggs, sesame, grapes, tomato, strawberry. So diary, juice, and possibly grains are out. We could do veggies, pb, and beans. I stopped going when DD was little b/c every time we went to get the checks we were there for 3 hours minimum (in the city) b/c they were so backed up (even with an appointment) and they started harassing me about vax.

 

With what we can eat IDK if it's worth the gas alone LOL

post #92 of 133

I always just go into my DHS office and wait to talk to my caseworker- usually in my area it does not take to awful long and things get expidited.  I found phone calls do nothing.

post #93 of 133
Thread Starter 

I second going into the DHS office personally and even asking for a different worker if you are feeling like the one you have isn't helping. I am one of those kind of people that have no problem asking to speak to a supervisor and taking it as far as i have to get results winky.gif

 

My (financial) challenge today was dealing with the power AND water disconnect notices i got in the mail yesterday. Catholic charities (pretty much the only help available around here) won't do anything because with my current income/expenses, I am not "viable".... so even tho I will have the money in a few weeks, they don't care to help me keep my utilities on till then. Fortunately, I was able to arrange payments, but that wasn't easy and relies on the assumption that i will have enough money by March 5th. Next challenge: car insurance. I had to borrow it from a friend last time, now I'm hoping the money my father said he would send me will be enough and get here in time - though most likely it will be neither. ::sigh::

 

post #94 of 133

I do have the car tomorrow I guess I could just go, what can it hurt right?

post #95 of 133

I hope it works. That is what I have learned works at my office.  Good luck!

post #96 of 133

can you dh eat the food?  what about 100% apple or orange juice?  It really does not matter who eats the food.   If they have issues with vax you  need to file a complaint with the regional office.

I'd try for wic again.  Just to get more food in the house.  Call the regional number for DES as well, they need to fix your foodstamps!
 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post



Called 5x yesterday and it won't go to an operator or an answering machine. (her direct line or the main line!) The whole office SUCKS. It's in the city, they closed the town one we went to and had no issues with...

 

DD has food allergies and I'm nursing her so I can't eat the food either, Dairy, eggs, sesame, grapes, tomato, strawberry. So diary, juice, and possibly grains are out. We could do veggies, pb, and beans. I stopped going when DD was little b/c every time we went to get the checks we were there for 3 hours minimum (in the city) b/c they were so backed up (even with an appointment) and they started harassing me about vax.

 

With what we can eat IDK if it's worth the gas alone LOL



 

post #97 of 133



 

Quote:
Originally Posted by sosurreal09 View Post

 

Our foodstamps worker sucks and still hasn't accepted my pregnancy and we get $160 a month right now :( I want to rip my hair out.



Ours was not changed until the baby was born. I specifically asked but they said they wouldn't change it until the baby was actually born. Didn't make sense to me but whatever. I was in no place to argue it at the time. That is in CA by the way.

 

post #98 of 133

for the first time in a million years we are above the poverty line....

 

rejoice! (you might say)

 

we will probably lose our health insurance. i  cant afford the copays per month.....about 12 in total. plus deductible and premium.

 

but, i bought myself some $14 shoes.....thats pretty swanky. and the dogs can go to the vet.

 

i'll have to find my way back to the comfortable side of the poverty line before i lose my meds.....

post #99 of 133
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl View Post



 



Ours was not changed until the baby was born. I specifically asked but they said they wouldn't change it until the baby was actually born. Didn't make sense to me but whatever. I was in no place to argue it at the time. That is in CA by the way.

 


Yup me too! They used to count it but now they won't! I gave the updated pay stubs at least. Hope we get a bit more...I didn't have a chance to get to WIC today but can go next Friday since I only have the car on the weekends...

 

I saw a REALLY nice minivan for $2,400 and I want it SOOOOO badly but I know we need our tax money for bills and to supplement our income :( It sucks not having a car...

 

post #100 of 133

So09- if you ever feel like PMing me just to chat that would be fine. 

We are on the border of eviction every week these days.  Thank goodness for nice landlords.

We're home home with no $ for anything - but plenty of food in the house and we're all healthy (ish)

 

I am really trying this daily gratitude exercise- just to keep my head on straight.

Today I am grateful for my teenage girls because they are happy and beautiful and funny.

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