Also, I'm finding it so difficult to resist the auto pilot responses that I grew up with. Anyone have advice/suggestions/experience you could share?
Thank you for sharing.
Hi there, my child is now 8, but one of the first books I found really helpful is called "Connection Parenting" -Parenting through Connection instead of Coercion, Through Love instead of Fear. by Pam Leo. There were examples and suggestions in each chapter and she suggests that a person have their own parenting journal when they are working through the book. I think at the end of each chapter there are questions, and ideas to reflect on. I remember discussing this book with other friends who had little ones as well.
I'm currently reading "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" and it has lots of great tips about understanding how to connect rather than disconnect, it goes through a temperment exercise that discusses several personality traits, and what kids need to hear when they have those personality traits.
I'm LOVING it, it's really helping me figure out how to respond in ways that are productive and that connect me and my son rather than just make both of feel like crap.
Parent Effectiveness Training by Dr. Tom Gordon is a great one. Also How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk (by same author as kids, parents, etc. I think). I picked up some great tips from Playful Parenting too.
As far as resisting auto-pilot - I so know what you mean! I find that when I've got a gentle parenting book going I'm using more mindful of how I'm parenting, so I try to just keep reading one after another, and re-reading good ones because i always come away with something new. Another thing - when you do say something you wish you hadn't, stop and apologize to your LO. I find that that brings it to my attention and later if I do it again they might remind me, lol. HTH!
The books above are great
I like books that focus on problem solving and teaching kids to think. Books by Ross Greene and Myrna Shure are my favourites complimeted by Alfie Kohn's unconditional parenting
here is a collection of video clips of CPS - collaborative problem solving in action
I hope this helps,