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My maybe baby saga...

post #1 of 7
Thread Starter 
DH and I were surprised with a faint positive on 1/18, my period was one day late, and the positive was SUUPER faint on an FRER. I say surprised, but we knew we had had an oops in my fertile period. Long story, short, it was New Years, and we celebrated a bit too much! eyesroll.gif My first day of my last period was 12/17. I was not temping/charting, but when I did, it was typical for me to ovulate on CD 17-19, of a 31 day cycle. So, BFP (or small, faint positive) on 1/18. With my history of loss (MTHFR and three early losses) I immediately called my CNM and went in on Thursday around noon for an HCG check. That morning, my dip strip tests were pretty much negative, you could sorta maybe see a line. Friday morning, took another dip strip, got a pretty clear positive, HCG results came back at 25. They told me to expect I was miscarrying, based on a 28 day cycle, ovulation on 12/31, they expected me to be like 18DPO on 1/18 and have an HCG of 400+. They reminded me I could have just ovulated late and sent me for a second HCG on Saturday at noon.

I spent the weekend waiting to start bleeding, I'm crampy, very few symptoms... I've been down this road before, and I was sure it was a loss. I even stopped taking my progesterone and had a glass of wine at a party!! So, this morning at 9am, the phone rings... Beta #'s... 63! SIXTY freaking THREE!! Now what does that mean?? Not super high, but it's a doubling time of 36 hours, totally respectable for like 11DPO and 13DPO.

I went back and did the math. If I ovulated on CD 19, that would be around 1/6. Putting me at 12DPO when I got my first faint positive, and 13DPO when I had my draw. If implantation took longer, it would make even more sense, that I am just not where they think I should be, because instead of being 20DPO on Saturday, I was more like 15DPO. Or possibly, even less.

According to beta base my HCG's are bang on for averages at 11DPO and 13DPO (they say 24 and 63). I'm waiting to hear back from my midwife, she was not in the office this morning, and neither was her usual OB nurse, so I talked to a non-OB nurse sub. She had no info about what they wanted to do from here. It was quite a useless conversation. I don't know what THEY want to do, but I know I want to continue the HCG draws and schedule an early ultrasound for when they think I'll go over 1000, to see if they can at least see a sac.

This wait is WAY more stressful than the 2WW. I'm going a bit nuts over here!!
post #2 of 7
Hell of a roller coaster you're on right now.

I lol'ed at your subject line as we've been calling our pregnancy the "maybe baby". Maybe it'll stay, maybe it won't.
post #3 of 7
Thread Starter 
That's about where we are. I know you've had more losses then I have, but there is a point (this my 7th pregnancy, three to term, three losses) where it gets so hard to think more than maybe. And then, with all the inconclusive results on top of it...

My midwife wants to wait until Saturday to do another beta. SATURDAY! I talked the nurse into Friday and emailed my midwife. I really don't think I can wait until Saturday to have another marker on where this is headed. I am totally not zen about this!!!
post #4 of 7
Waiting until Saturday is just insane even to me.

By this point I know I lose early and nothing stops it so what's the point of tests, ya know.

I hope like hell you get the news you want. But, yea, less stress saying its a maybe baby. Lol
post #5 of 7
Thread Starter 
I don't know what I want... The longer this goes on, the more I start to see the future with a family of six. The less I am totally freaked out about having another...

It's hard to believe it's only been 6 days since my period was late. Of course, it's been 21 days since we had our "oops" event that led to this being possible, so I guess I have a reason for feeling like this has gone on forever.
post #6 of 7
We both know you want answers so you'll know what steps to take next. You know it will feel like forever until you find out what's going on and even then the stress is a bitch.
post #7 of 7
Thread Starter 
Right, I do want answers... I just have had such mixed feelings about this pregnancy. It's a weird place to be, because I'm always TTC, and loosing, and TTC again. I'm usually desperate for baby to stick. This time, while the idea of loss is still very sad, it's different than having TTC for 7 months, loosing the baby and then TTC for another 4 more, you know?

But in the end, what I need right now is just more information. Another set of Betas showing I'm going in one direction or another. An early u/s booked, plans for whats next. Or maybe even JUST a conversation with my midwife. I'm feeling annoyed that I've emailed with her, talked with her nurse, but she hasn't called me.
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