New Mamas chat-week of 1/23

[Kindermama]

MESSY HOUSE/SUPER GLUE BABY

Ok, it's becoming apparent to me that I completely forgot how immobilized I would be with a newborn. It's been 5 years since my last newborn and I guess I got way too used to my autonomy and 8-9 hours of sleep each night. We even hired a FT mother's helper this time around (she hasn't held the baby yet though---I have issues with non-family holding my babies!) and my house still looks like a tornado went through it. How is it possible that even with a set of extra hands that things aren't getting done! I'm looking around me and I just can't believe the mess. It's not dirty, it's just cluttered everywhere. Toys all over the place. 

How do you mamas do it?? I can't believe I've done this in the past with a toddler in tow and two other kids under 7 as well. How did I ever get through it? Mind you, I have a baby who was born with a tube of super glue...he hasn't been put down since his birth (ok, well this week, he has---he was willing to sit in a bouncy seat through two showers...well almost through...I had to make them 3 minute showers! LOL) Clearly I have to lower my expectations here but I can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong when I read on the October DDC (my old DDC before I miscarried in March) about babies sleeping 5-10 hour shifts a night since a couple of weeks old. WTH! I can't even put my son down next to me in the bed, never mind in the $150 co-sleeper next to the bed. 

DAIRY---I think my son is having issues with dairy. Three days in, my midwife suggested that I take dairy and gluten out of my diet because he was pretty fussy. I did for over 2 weeks until we saw a kinesiologist who muscle-tested him and said it's not dairy or gluten but eggs, nuts and soy. Okay, great! So she treated him for the egg issue. We'll go back for the others. A few days ago, I started eating dairy again...yum, cheese!!!!  Now, I'm paying for it. We're on night 3 of super super restlessness (ie- I got 2 total hours of sleep each night). He is waking/stirring/fussing constantly...a couple of times an hour even when he's in my arms or at the breast.  Then yesterday he woke with a pimply rash all over his face and he spit up a few times for the first time ever too. He hasn't pooped in over 48 hours when he was going every day. So much for kinesiology being accurate!  I did start eating grains and gluten again...maybe it's the grains?? I dunno. I guess I'm going to eat paleo/primal for the next 1-2 years! I want cheese! 

How are you guys doing!?!?! Please commiserate! I need company in this! 

[thorn]

Do you have a good sling or wrap? That's how I get stuff done, feed him, pop him in there once he's sleepy, and then I can do dishes, pick up toys, fold laundry and whatnot.

[coldandsleepy]

We've only been home about... well, a little less than 24 hours, so it's hard to say how things are going so far.  On the one hand, the actual newborn care seems WAY easier than I remember it.  I don't feel crazy hormonal (yet), my milk is in and nursing's going really well (we figured out sidelying last night!  this revolutionized my life last time around so, yeah, I am really excited that we have it down already), baby seems happy to be snuggled, worn in the wrap, etc.  (MobyWrap + newborn = MAGICAL!)  He is a super glue baby so far but he's only 4 days old (right?  I am already losing track of time) so it's hard to say if this is long term or not... he also does not seem to care if it's me or my husband holding him, which is a biiiig advantage.

On the other hand, my 2 year old is obviously feeling a LOT of stress... he is normally a really sweet and silly but mostly calm guy.  He has been literally bouncing off the walls, shouting, throwing things (?!), having meltdowns, etc since I've been home.  (My husband says he was like this while I was gone too.)  We're doing the best we can for him, making sure he's getting tons of attention and love... I'm hoping that in a couple of days, he will start feeling more secure again and start getting back to his normal self.

In the meantime, I don't think we're going to get a lot of practical house stuff done while he's awake.  :/  I'm hoping to have the energy to do some light pickup etc after he goes to bed tonight (or have my husband do it)... but we'll see.

[demoonunit]

Thanks for posting this thread; it's a wonderful idea! I'm sorry your little one is so needy. I don't really have any word of advice since this is my first time being a mama, but I can give you some virtual hugs! Also, as far as the pimply rash--I think my midwife said the little whitehead things are perfectly healthy--how *rashy* is it? My midwife swears by breastmilk--maybe put a little put on his little cheeks? Are you eating the same things you ate when you were pregnant? Not sure if that makes a difference as well...

My baby has been here a week already today! It's soooo hard to believe! She's really a good baby. We have some latch issues on one breast, but we are managing. I suppose I'm having a little trouble adjusting to not being pregnant, but I knew I would. I really loved being pregnant and I expected to feel this way, so it's not catching me off guard in any way. Today is also a rough day because it's the first day my honey went back to work (and he works 12 hour shifts--ugh!) It's hard to let go of that first week when it was just me and him and the little peanut all warm and cozy in our little nest--it's kind of like that feeling of coming back from vacation and not wanting to get back to "reality."

I've also been having horrible anxiety dreams. I tried letting her sleep in the bassinet next to the bed the first couple of nights, but I wasn't comfortable not having her sleep right next to me so I can check on her breathing. I've had her in the bed with me to sleep at night and it makes it so that I can actually catch some Zzzz's, but I keep having these horrible dreams that I'm squishing her or she's not breathing or her little face is deformed. If I'm not having dreams about something being wrong with her, I'm having dreams that the government is doing experiments on me or something. WTH! I'm also a little worried that having her in bed with us is going to make it super difficult to get her to sleep in her crib when she's older, but I just can't bear the thought of not having her near me, and I *need* to get some sleep!

Also, anybody else feeling in love with their midwives?   I haven't really wanted too many visitors aside from our parents and a couple friends, but my midwife was so absolutely wonderful that I wish I could have her with me all the time! I feel so incredibly in debt and connected to her. On baby's first night she was a little congested and crabby, so my midwife came and spent the entire night with us to moniter her and let us get a little bit of sleep. Our 2 week postpartum check-up is Sunday, and I find myself looking more forward to that than any other potential visitors. I think I need to cut *my* cord!

[Sweet.Bee]

Our little girl is 2 weeks old today!

She's also very much into physical contact and often wakes up when moved. Other than that and some very rough sucking (plus cluster feeding), she's a fairly easy baby, I think. Our place is sadly messy as well.

Our 2-year-old is doing really well in his new role as big brother. I thought he would be good, but he's even better than I expected. He likes to give the baby kisses, tickle her, and is so excited to have her with us. I hope this continues when my husband goes back to work next week and I'm left alone with the two children.

Anyone else still feeling the after effects of birth? I'm still bleeding. I don't think it was this long last time. Also, I did not tear during birth, but I did have some skin rub off in 2 sensitive spots. I hurt if I stand for too long. It's getting better slowly.

[demoonunit]

Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee 

Anyone else still feeling the after effects of birth? I'm still bleeding. I don't think it was this long last time. Also, I did not tear during birth, but I did have some skin rub off in 2 sensitive spots. I hurt if I stand for too long. It's getting better slowly.

It's been a week for me, and I'm still bleeding a pretty good amount...

[ziursrm]

Hang in there Kindermama this phase will pass and you'll learn to manage again. I second the votes on trying a sling or wrap. That has always been my biggest friend. I used my wrap on Sunday for the first time this round and it was heavenly. Now I just need to figure out how to wrap 2 at once and I'll be home free. 

[Kindermama]

Originally Posted by ziursrm 

Now I just need to figure out how to wrap 2 at once and I'll be home free. 

Wow! So you have two! I don't know how you are doing it 

I'm also a little worried that having her in bed with us is going to make it super difficult to get her to sleep in her crib when she's older, but I just can't bear the thought of not having her near me, and I *need* to get some sleep!

don't worry! We co-slept with all our kids and they have all been in their own beds for years. My last baby went to her own bed at 11 months old, just like that. No crying at all and she then slept through the night after that! I do hear you about not sleeping well with them away from your body. I feel that way too.....I know, I know, I'm contradicting myself! 

Also, anybody else feeling in love with their midwives?  

That happened with my first midwife. I remember crying when my last visit with her ended. I cried off and on for her. I didn't feel the same connection with the midwife I've used for my last two home births. I never cried for her. She was good but I didn't have that heart connection at all. She's also an ND and pretty practical and all that. My husband really liked her though! 

Anyone else still feeling the after effects of birth? I'm still bleeding. I don't think it was this long last time. Also, I did not tear during birth, but I did have some skin rub off in 2 sensitive spots. I hurt if I stand for too long. It's getting better slowly.

I didn't tear either but I bled for 2 weeks and I still spot very very lightly here and there. I feel like my intestines forgot how to work though! I have pain before and after BMs. Never had that before. 

I have to say to not tear was amazing! He was my biggest baby but I think the water birth is what prevented the tearing. Do you have any calendula oil, tincture or creme? It would definitely speed up healing in this spots

AFM:

I'm slowly getting the hang of the Moby and K'Tan carriers. It's such a struggle to get him in there all comfy and cozy without jostling him around too much (which makes him freak out). I found that I cannot bend down to pick up toys from the floor when I'm wearing him either because he doesn't tolerate all the ups and downs. 

So it definitely turns out he is reacting to something I'm eating...most likely dairy but maybe wheat because I put both of them back in my diet after the kinesiologist said dairy was okay. I guess it could be the wheat but it's more likely the dairy, I think. He finally poo'ed today after 3 days and it was green and super smelly...not at all like normal EBF poo. 

I tried laid back nursing last night and ended up in this awesome position. We slept from 10-3 with 2 quick nursings in there. I ended up having a horrific dream about someone breaking into my house and hurting my 5yo and from 3am on, I only dozed once or twice. Go figure, he sleeps more soundly and then I can't! However, today is the first day that he took predictable naps!!! I took an hour nap with him (he slept for over 2 hrs in my arms though) and felt really good when I woke! Amazing what short naps can do. I hope continuing to eat dairy or whatever-I-have-to free settles him a bit!

[Healthy_Baby]

Anyone else still feeling the after effects of birth? I'm still bleeding. I don't think it was this long last time. Also, I did not tear during birth, but I did have some skin rub off in 2 sensitive spots. I hurt if I stand for too long. It's getting better slowly.

w/ my first 2 I bled for ATLEAST 4 weeks and then stopped on and off and then had a "sixth week bleed".  when my first was born i did ZERO resting and bounded up stairs - I thought the only reason to be careful was if you tore and I didn't so I thought there was no need to take it easy.  then my birth assistant explain that the post-partum womb is just bouncing around with no support in early days and needs to be treated gently to heal properly! 

This time around I actually listened to the midwives and took it VERY easy during the first 2 weeks. (SO HARD to do w/ a 4 and 2 year old) but it's made SUCH a difference.  lochia was much less and tapered off by 3 weeks and i now only have tan spotting at week 4 - no red .  

 

[coldandsleepy]

WIth my older son, I had heavy bleeding (including large but not golf ball sized) clots for about 3 weeks after he was born, followed by 1 or 2 weeks of lighter bleeding.

My bleeding has been totally different this time-- moderately heavy in the hospital, tapering off to almost nothing by the time I left.  I'm 5 days postpartum now and while I am changing pads every couple of hours just for sanitary reasons, I can tell you that I wouldn't soak an entire pad if I left it on 24 hours.  I've seen one very small clot and that's it.  Weird, huh?  My activity level isn't much different-- if anything, I am doing slightly more activitywise now because I have to do things like lift up my toddler and stuff.

About carriers:  I'm remembering why I loved the Moby so much last time... it's just so freakin' snuggly.  My tiny guy is sleeping in it right now in fact.  (Woo!  I have both hands to type!)  

When does evening fussy time start?  My husband and I have been trying to remember.  We both feel like this little guy has been so easy so far and are wondering if this is just the calm before the storm...

[Kewpie80]

I'm 3 weeks postpartum and I'm still bleeding.  
 

Originally Posted by Sweet.Bee 

Anyone else still feeling the after effects of birth? I'm still bleeding. I don't think it was this long last time. Also, I did not tear during birth, but I did have some skin rub off in 2 sensitive spots. I hurt if I stand for too long. It's getting better slowly.

[demoonunit]

I'm not so much concerned about the bleeding as I am the pressure. I'm feeling lots of pressure when standing and going to the bathroom. Maybe I'm not taking it easy enough?

[thorn]

Originally Posted by demoonunit 

I'm not so much concerned about the bleeding as I am the pressure. I'm feeling lots of pressure when standing and going to the bathroom. Maybe I'm not taking it easy enough?

Your pelvic floor is probably just weak from the birth. Take it easy and when you are able to resume exercise, do lots of squats and pelvic tilts to tighten everything back up.

Originally Posted by demoonunit 

Also, anybody else feeling in love with their midwives?  

I have an OB, but yes I feel this way after each birth! We're very close and this time was particularly emotion-filled for me. I remember crying after my first VBAC because I was "never going to see him again". (Which is really funny in hindsight, as I've had two more babies since then and also work with his patients frequently as a doula)

 
 

[Kindermama]

THORN: Is that really your OB??? If it is, that just warms my heart. It's not every day that a man can support a woman like that!

DEMOONUNIT: If you're having that much pressure, homeopathic Sepia can help strengthen your pelvic floor. Just a couple of doses.

[moonSnail]

demoonunit, our babies were born on the same day and I still have quite a bit of pressure too. That and throbbing if I stand too long.  I did have some stitches though.  This is my second baby and I remember being thrown off by the pressure and really worried.... I call it the hammock feeling.  It is really normal though.... your muscles get so stretched out.  My midwife says kegel as soon as it feels okay and it really does go away pretty quickly.  Boy, time sure does go by slowly though when you feel like your insides are falling out!

[thorn]

Originally Posted by Kindermama 

THORN: Is that really your OB??? If it is, that just warms my heart. It's not every day that a man can support a woman like that!

Yep, that is really my OB. 

[Devaskyla]

ziursrm http://www.google.ca/search?q=wrapping+twins&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a Link to a google search on wrapping twins. First 3 links are videos. Hope it helps!

[ziursrm]

Thanks for the link. I've been experimenting for a couple days now and the first video is very good. 

Originally Posted by Devaskyla 

ziursrm http://www.google.ca/search?q=wrapping+twins&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a Link to a google search on wrapping twins. First 3 links are videos. Hope it helps!

[L'lee]

We hit 4 weeks yesterday! Hard to believe! Sometime this week I finally stopped bleeding, at least enough to stop wearing the panty liners. I'm definitely starting to get tired and need to make sure I nap! I was on such a high the first couple of weeks and everything felt so easy, but now the reality of having a baby and getting up every night and having fussy periods in the evening has set in a bit. Since I've done this before I think that helps to give me perspective - it is not forever, but it can feel that way the fourth time getting up at night!

Our cosleeper is basically a place to put extra blankets and diapers, which is pretty much what it was last time. LOL! I finally spent a whole night in the bed (we've been in a recliner) and DD didn't sleep very well, so we're back to the recliner until about 5am when DD gets wiggly and grunty. I know she's gearing up for a 7 or 8 or 9 am poop (we EC, so I try to catch them), but she doesn't realize that she feels her intestines getting ready before it is time to go, so I look forward to having her figure that out and be a bit less restless from 5am on until poop time. Argh! Must make sure to go to bed when she falls asleep after fussytime!

She is super sweet, though, and I'm very happy to have her here! DS is being great with her, very sweet. I think it is good that he is 5 1/2, I don't think he would have handled a baby so well when he was younger.

I think this whole thing is the hardest for DH. I kicked him out of the bedroom to sleep with DS, but he still has insomnia and has a really hard time with crying baby (at night he doesn't hear her, but during the evening). He is relearning how to calm a baby, and it is great when he has success with that (massage with the Burt's Bees baby oil is one thing that helps!) and it will help when he can interact more with DD, like reading stories and playing. She likes singing sometimes, but doesn't seem interested in stories quite yet.

It has been interesting seeing the similarities between DD and when DS was a baby!

[demoonunit]

Baby is now 11 days and I just tried out my Moby wrap--what a lifesaver! She loves it, and I have two hands again...weeeeeee!!!!

She just started getting really dry skin yesterday--any recommendations for how to deal with dry skin on a newborn? I have Burt's Bees oil & lotion, but I'd like to get suggestions before I use something on her.